I'm not sure what to say. I am grieving the loss of my girlfriend. We were together for over 3 years. She was 27. We both had a history of depression. I was able to find support for my problem and take advantage of the help I was offered. She found it very difficult to trust anyone. I don't think that she trusted anyone besides me. She relied on me to be her emotional support. But, there was only so much that I could do. I wish that I could have done more. I am having a lot of strange thoughts and feelings. I feel like I am mostly getting the support I need. But, I still need to talk about my feelings.

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Keep talking John it is normal to have strange thoughts and feelings. Im sorry for the loss of your girlfriend, you are right, there is only so much you can do, it was sadly a fight she lost. You keep doing what you need to do to survive.
I am not new to grief. I lost my husband to cancer over a year ago. They I met a friend who filled so many of my needs. It was to quick and he wanted me to more, make shanged I wasn't ready for or feel good about. I could see us marrying in the future but we needed much more time.
We both had depression, my over my husband's death. Then he committed suicide when I shared my feelings of not being ready for him yet. Nor did I realize the depth of his depression.
Now I have two deaths to deal with it, I am not ready for it but it seems to be once you are involved a large emotional part of you is in, and the feeling furts.
john, sorry for your loss i lost my son will be 4 years this labor day still go to support groups and still talk about my loss with anyone who will listen john dont let your feeling be surpressed talk to everyone you can about it if not they will just eat you up inside. good luck and sorry for your loss
Talking is one of the best things you can do for yourself. Keeping everything in is when the issues start. Letting it fester and eat at your soul. One thing that I have learned when it comes to life and other people's choices, there are just some things that we have no control over. It is what it is. I have lived with guilt for many years. And let's not forget the "what if's". Those still haunt me. But I have learned to forgive and have come to an understanding of why things happen. It took me 9 years, but I finally figured it out. As long as you have someone to talk to, someone to turn to, just to listen, you will be just fine. There are plenty of people on here that understand and feel your pain. All you gotta do is get online and find us. I hope things get better for you. Live your life day to day. Don't worry about tomorrow or next week. Get through today first, that in itself is an accomplishment. Do not feel guilty bout laughing or smiling. cherish that moment of happiness. Cause you don't know when you'll get another moment like that. Take care of yourself. Whether you think so or not, someone does care.

Always, Cynthia


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