My son died two years ago, he was 23, the day before his birthday. I know now some of the reasons why Ryan felt he was trapped. Unfortunately I did not know how depressed he was and he felt he had no way out but to take his life. If you had it to do again in that split second would he take it back, I believe he would have. Did he think of his kids, his mother, sister, brothers-No. He only thought of a way out to the hell he was in. I wish I could help other kids, young adults, there are other answers besides a permanent one. Does anyone know of how I can help others??

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Hello Trish,

I am so sorry to hear about your son's death. I am a child of a father who committed suicide when I was 15 years old. I wish over 30 years ago there was someone out there who just wanted to talk to me. Back in my days, what happened happened and you sweep it under the rug and move on with your life. But that did not help me. Yes, I swept it under the rug and went on with my life; but now 30 years later, I had issues that poured over in a marriage that later ended in divorce, because of issues. What you can do to help others is write for them. Help them write out their feelings. Kids and young adults need to write out their feelings. How about creating a journal for the young at heart. Start a weekend workshop at your church or in your home for kids and young adults to come and express themself either through art, writing, or just talking and at the end have a little care package for them to take with them. You be the mouth piece for the young at heart. See what happens in about 2-3 months with your creative mind and let me know how things work out. Take care and God bless you in your adventure of "Healing the Hearts of Young Minds." Hey, there's your new project. You Go!
It doesn't get any easier. It's been 4 1/2 yrs. since my little girl, Kelly, died by suicide. 4 years since my son chose to also go that way. And 1 yr. since my other son, died, although he did not die by suicide, but rather an accidental drug overdose. But, I have my suspicions there.....Your right, I think it's a split second decision, that forever haunts us left to live through it. I don't think for one second they mean to hurt us this way. And if they could they would take it all back. But, that's just the thing, the split second decision, cannot be taken back if it is successful.....The pain only deepens with each year. Unlike an accident, that one comes in time to accept in a different way, or a disease, but each has it's pain to cross. Suicide is different, because there was no reason, no rhyme, it was just simply there. It's agonizing beyond words, beyond our reasoning...and it hurts. Hurts deep. My son seen how his sister's suiciden effected me, and yet he chose to turn around and do the exact same thing 5 months later. So, I wonder, if really there is anything we can do or say...other than NEVER tell a person that is threatening to die by suicide, to go ahead...thinking it will change their minds. You only give them permission to do so then. You feed what is bothering them, you add fuel to it. Especially our young.....My daughter was 17, my son was 30, and my other son was 22, just days short of his 23 birthday. It hurts. I cry, I cry and I cry. The tears never stop. The why's never stop....please if you are contemplating it, get help...talk to anyone....just sometimes a 3 minute talk can make all the difference...but only for that 3 minutes, then seek immediate counseling......please.
Trish, I am so sorry for your loss. I also lost my son to suicide when he was 23, on June 21,2008. We will never know the answers to our questions. He was going through some money issues and girlfriend troubles, and some other issues as well. I miss my son so much and I wanted to blame myself, but I figured out that it was not my fault. If you ever want to talk this is my email nanna-t@hotmail.com
I have found an organization called The Jason Foundation. They have some information that might help you to help others, I received a copy of their information and it is a program that can be used in the schools or church youth groups. You might want to check into it and see if it is something that you are interested in.
Thanks. I will e-mail you, our losses are so close, he had the same issues.
Trish
Rebecca k furbush said:
My husband died almost 2 years ago on his birthday, he was 41.He left behind me, his daughter, and 2 young sons. I want to believe that if he had a chance to take it back, he would, knowning the unbearable pain it caused. Suicide has made us very sad, and lonely. I worry about my younger sons because they often blame themselves. Telling my husbands mother that her youngest son committed suicide was very hard, I'll never forget the look in her eyes, heart wrenching! I then had to tell my youngest son, age 17, who was then in the hospital.
I'm so sorry for the loss of your son Trish. Its wonderful that you want to reach out to others. I wish I could give you a hug. :] :] P.S. I wanna believe your son, and my husband wasn't thinking about family, and ended their lives on impulse.
Loving Blessings,
Kathy Wasilla, Alaska
It seems that no matter who it is, husband, child when its suicide we ALL feel the same. All the questions and the pain their leaving here caused us. I know they had no clue that what they were doing to the family. Thats the piece that I have a major problem with hurting his sister, brother and the anger those left behind feel. I am sure he is at piece now but just wonder if he knows how hurt everyone else is here and how this has totally changed our lives.
I am so sorry for your losses, how in the world do you get up every day? thats is so horrible!! I still have three wonderful kids, they are angry, one doesn't talk about it and the other does in her way. Its totally torn us apart, my youngest who committed suicide was the glue that made us a "family" we seem to have grown apart not gotten closer. my heart goes out to you!!

Sherilyn Sowell said:
It doesn't get any easier. It's been 4 1/2 yrs. since my little girl, Kelly, died by suicide. 4 years since my son chose to also go that way. And 1 yr. since my other son, died, although he did not die by suicide, but rather an accidental drug overdose. But, I have my suspicions there.....Your right, I think it's a split second decision, that forever haunts us left to live through it. I don't think for one second they mean to hurt us this way. And if they could they would take it all back. But, that's just the thing, the split second decision, cannot be taken back if it is successful.....The pain only deepens with each year. Unlike an accident, that one comes in time to accept in a different way, or a disease, but each has it's pain to cross. Suicide is different, because there was no reason, no rhyme, it was just simply there. It's agonizing beyond words, beyond our reasoning...and it hurts. Hurts deep. My son seen how his sister's suiciden effected me, and yet he chose to turn around and do the exact same thing 5 months later. So, I wonder, if really there is anything we can do or say...other than NEVER tell a person that is threatening to die by suicide, to go ahead...thinking it will change their minds. You only give them permission to do so then. You feed what is bothering them, you add fuel to it. Especially our young.....My daughter was 17, my son was 30, and my other son was 22, just days short of his 23 birthday. It hurts. I cry, I cry and I cry. The tears never stop. The why's never stop....please if you are contemplating it, get help...talk to anyone....just sometimes a 3 minute talk can make all the difference...but only for that 3 minutes, then seek immediate counseling......please.
hi trish, you are already helping others just by being here on this web site. writing what you feel others get to read it and maybe that helps them to see how others may be feeling when someone dies from suicide. you could start your own web site just for young people or have a forum in your area to bring suicide to the attention of the kids or go to schools and talk to them .i hope that helps i am a wife of a man who died and a mother of my son who died 5 months ago both of them committed suicide having to grieve once was hard its so much harder the second time around my son was 22 his birhtday yesterday he would have been 23..... take care and just a little smile from me to you..

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