I thought that if you put your feelings out here you would get the support you need, but it looks like no one, well one person replied, and thank you for your support. My brother hung himself last year in August just 5 days before my birthday, and three months after our mom passed away from her battle with cancer, just two days before her birthday and mothers day. It's been really rough and the closer it gets to the day I get depressed and can't think strait. My husband tries to help me but it isn't really working, I love him and he tries his best, I just don't know how much more I can take. My family thinks I'm a strong person but I'm not. Then in september my dad had to have surgery and ended up having strokes while under, now he keeps haveing them and seizers. So I'm not sure how long we have with him. The pain is too much. I just get so mad too. How can god hurt one family so much. they say he won't give you more then you can handle, so why all this, I cannot handle any more.

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Replies to This Discussion

melissa said:
Thank you Samantha, Please tell your so that I am so sorry for the lose of his best friend, It is very hard not to be angry, and not knowing why is the hardest. My niece pointed something out to me today and I never realized it tell she told me, on the 23rd it will be a year for my brother and, I haven't grieved like I should have and I'm not sure how, I have always been the strong one in the family and now its not like that anymore, Everyday is a struggle, but coming on here and just knowing that you are not alone does help me a little. Please tell him he is more then welcome to write me and maybe we could help each other. My husband is a wonderful man and hates seeing me like this, just being there for your son is more then what you think, My husband tries to help me and I know he means well its just so hard to stop the hurting and from what everyone tells me the hurting will be less in years to come but until they go through this they will never know when it will stop. Loving your son and be there for him even if its just to listen may help him, I also think with the nightmares he is having he really needs to talk to a therapists. I have no idea what that is like but My son was the one that found my brother and i had put him in to see some one. That seemed to help him. My prayers ggo to you and your son and his bestfriends family.
samantha ramey said:
Melissa thank you for posting this.My 21 year old son's best friend of 13 years hung himself on Aug 7,2010.
My son found him.He is having a hard time dealing with this,nightmares almost no sleep.
I am hoping to find him a support group in our area.My son is so angry with Jacob for doing this and leaving him.He said he was going to be there for me no matter what he was always going to be my best friend.He say's now who is going to be there.
He is angry at all the well wishes because he said in 2 week's this will be behind them but it want be for me.
As a mother is kills me that I can't take the hurt away.I am hurting also Jacob was like one of my own children always here asking what is there to eat.Giving me that goofy smile saying what I didn't do it.

I pray for you and hope you find peace.Once again thank you for posting and I will be praying for you.
Samantha
Melissa how old is your son?That must have been so hard on him .
I found a support group today that I hope will help him.The problem I face now is his mother is speading rumor that my son and Jacobs girlfriend were seeing each other behind Jacobs back and that they wanted this to happen.The problem with that is I have never gotten along with his mom I alway's knew she was an eval person to her son and everyone. I can not stand by when she is going to do that to my son and I want my first priority is to protect my son .I hope she moves away that is all I can pray for and my son never has any contact with her again.As for my son Alex he did sleep a little better last night I think ,at least that is what he tell's me.
Keep your chin up and just know that there are other's out there who know what you go through on a day to day basis.
My thought's and prayers are with you and your family.
Samantha mother of a heartbroke son.
te>samantha ramey said:
melissa said:
Thank you Samantha, Please tell your so that I am so sorry for the lose of his best friend, It is very hard not to be angry, and not knowing why is the hardest. My niece pointed something out to me today and I never realized it tell she told me, on the 23rd it will be a year for my brother and, I haven't grieved like I should have and I'm not sure how, I have always been the strong one in the family and now its not like that anymore, Everyday is a struggle, but coming on here and just knowing that you are not alone does help me a little. Please tell him he is more then welcome to write me and maybe we could help each other. My husband is a wonderful man and hates seeing me like this, just being there for your son is more then what you think, My husband tries to help me and I know he means well its just so hard to stop the hurting and from what everyone tells me the hurting will be less in years to come but until they go through this they will never know when it will stop. Loving your son and be there for him even if its just to listen may help him, I also think with the nightmares he is having he really needs to talk to a therapists. I have no idea what that is like but My son was the one that found my brother and i had put him in to see some one. That seemed to help him. My prayers ggo to you and your son and his bestfriends family.
samantha ramey said:
Melissa thank you for posting this.My 21 year old son's best friend of 13 years hung himself on Aug 7,2010.
My son found him.He is having a hard time dealing with this,nightmares almost no sleep.
I am hoping to find him a support group in our area.My son is so angry with Jacob for doing this and leaving him.He said he was going to be there for me no matter what he was always going to be my best friend.He say's now who is going to be there.
He is angry at all the well wishes because he said in 2 week's this will be behind them but it want be for me.
As a mother is kills me that I can't take the hurt away.I am hurting also Jacob was like one of my own children always here asking what is there to eat.Giving me that goofy smile saying what I didn't do it.

I pray for you and hope you find peace.Once again thank you for posting and I will be praying for you.
Samantha
Melissa how old is your son?That must have been so hard on him .
I found a support group today that I hope will help him.The problem I face now is his mother is speading rumor that my son and Jacobs girlfriend were seeing each other behind Jacobs back and that they wanted this to happen.The problem with that is I have never gotten along with his mom I alway's knew she was an eval person to her son and everyone. I can not stand by when she is going to do that to my son and I want my first priority is to protect my son .I hope she moves away that is all I can pray for and my son never has any contact with her again.As for my son Alex he did sleep a little better last night I think ,at least that is what he tell's me.
Keep your chin up and just know that there are other's out there who know what you go through on a day to day basis.
My thought's and prayers are with you and your family.
Samantha mother of a heartbroke son.
te>samantha ramey said:
melissa said:
Thank you Samantha, Please tell your so that I am so sorry for the lose of his best friend, It is very hard not to be angry, and not knowing why is the hardest. My niece pointed something out to me today and I never realized it tell she told me, on the 23rd it will be a year for my brother and, I haven't grieved like I should have and I'm not sure how, I have always been the strong one in the family and now its not like that anymore, Everyday is a struggle, but coming on here and just knowing that you are not alone does help me a little. Please tell him he is more then welcome to write me and maybe we could help each other. My husband is a wonderful man and hates seeing me like this, just being there for your son is more then what you think, My husband tries to help me and I know he means well its just so hard to stop the hurting and from what everyone tells me the hurting will be less in years to come but until they go through this they will never know when it will stop. Loving your son and be there for him even if its just to listen may help him, I also think with the nightmares he is having he really needs to talk to a therapists. I have no idea what that is like but My son was the one that found my brother and i had put him in to see some one. That seemed to help him. My prayers ggo to you and your son and his bestfriends family.
samantha ramey said:
Melissa thank you for posting this.My 21 year old son's best friend of 13 years hung himself on Aug 7,2010.
My son found him.He is having a hard time dealing with this,nightmares almost no sleep.
I am hoping to find him a support group in our area.My son is so angry with Jacob for doing this and leaving him.He said he was going to be there for me no matter what he was always going to be my best friend.He say's now who is going to be there.
He is angry at all the well wishes because he said in 2 week's this will be behind them but it want be for me.
As a mother is kills me that I can't take the hurt away.I am hurting also Jacob was like one of my own children always here asking what is there to eat.Giving me that goofy smile saying what I didn't do it.

I pray for you and hope you find peace.Once again thank you for posting and I will be praying for you.
Samantha
My son was 14 and not only did he find him hes 9 year old son found also. My son is doing better then I am, He has grown up a lot since then, which I find weird, I took him to see some one and he did really good. I'm sorry to hear about what is going on she is only tring to find blame somewhere. As long as you know it's not true, one day she will know also.

samantha ramey said:
Melissa how old is your son?That must have been so hard on him .
I found a support group today that I hope will help him.The problem I face now is his mother is speading rumor that my son and Jacobs girlfriend were seeing each other behind Jacobs back and that they wanted this to happen.The problem with that is I have never gotten along with his mom I alway's knew she was an eval person to her son and everyone. I can not stand by when she is going to do that to my son and I want my first priority is to protect my son .I hope she moves away that is all I can pray for and my son never has any contact with her again.As for my son Alex he did sleep a little better last night I think ,at least that is what he tell's me.
Keep your chin up and just know that there are other's out there who know what you go through on a day to day basis.
My thought's and prayers are with you and your family.
Samantha mother of a heartbroke son.
te>samantha ramey said:
melissa said:
Thank you Samantha, Please tell your so that I am so sorry for the lose of his best friend, It is very hard not to be angry, and not knowing why is the hardest. My niece pointed something out to me today and I never realized it tell she told me, on the 23rd it will be a year for my brother and, I haven't grieved like I should have and I'm not sure how, I have always been the strong one in the family and now its not like that anymore, Everyday is a struggle, but coming on here and just knowing that you are not alone does help me a little. Please tell him he is more then welcome to write me and maybe we could help each other. My husband is a wonderful man and hates seeing me like this, just being there for your son is more then what you think, My husband tries to help me and I know he means well its just so hard to stop the hurting and from what everyone tells me the hurting will be less in years to come but until they go through this they will never know when it will stop. Loving your son and be there for him even if its just to listen may help him, I also think with the nightmares he is having he really needs to talk to a therapists. I have no idea what that is like but My son was the one that found my brother and i had put him in to see some one. That seemed to help him. My prayers ggo to you and your son and his bestfriends family.
samantha ramey said:
Melissa thank you for posting this.My 21 year old son's best friend of 13 years hung himself on Aug 7,2010.
My son found him.He is having a hard time dealing with this,nightmares almost no sleep.
I am hoping to find him a support group in our area.My son is so angry with Jacob for doing this and leaving him.He said he was going to be there for me no matter what he was always going to be my best friend.He say's now who is going to be there.
He is angry at all the well wishes because he said in 2 week's this will be behind them but it want be for me.
As a mother is kills me that I can't take the hurt away.I am hurting also Jacob was like one of my own children always here asking what is there to eat.Giving me that goofy smile saying what I didn't do it.

I pray for you and hope you find peace.Once again thank you for posting and I will be praying for you.
Samantha
Melissa, I'm sorry you haven't found what you're looking for. The pain you have is real and all the trouble and stress you've had in your life since your brother's death is only amplified by his death. I'll be honest with you...there is no quick fix. Anyone that says time will heal...is full BS. But what time will give is the capacity to deal with your pain; the capacity to put it away long enough for you to deal with life. I'm sorry your father isn't doing well and will pray for his recovery and that God will give you strength.

The best suggestion I can give you is to ask for help. If the rest of your family believes you're a strong person, then you may need to start asking for help. Start telling them specifically that you are having a tough time dealing with the stress and that you need help. Tell them what you need...is it a shoulder to cry on? Is it help caring for your father? Is it someone to listen to all your frustration and anger? Tell them, Melissa, they love you and I'm sure you will find help you need.

Always, Catherine
I'm so sorry for your loss, Melissa! I lost someone I loved very much to suicide a year ago tomorrow. I don't know the why, the how, or anything else of how life goes on, I just know that it does. I'm experiencing that same feelings of not being able to think straight, can't hold a thought for more that a fleeting second, and feel as if the sadness is something that so fills my body that it's going to ooze out of my pores at any moment. When I get so overwhelmed the thing that helps me the most is to go to a place where I can be alone (my garden is the best spot), sit quietly and breathe, listening closely to my breathing and just making my mind focus there - even just for a few minutes - helps to settle all of the confusion and helps to get me centered again. I resent all of the platitudes about God and what he does or doesn't do - just all the crap that doesn't help. It's just life playing itself out around us and it's sometimes extremely difficult to deal with and get through the day. But we can and we do, somehow. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and remember to be kind to yourself and those who are suffering with you! I'll keep you in my thoughts!
I am so sorry to hear of you going through all this....it is hard to get through..I know..been there..almost same story..my brother shot himself then I got cancer, then close friend and family died..then lost my home....Some days I think I am on the road to recovery..then bam I wake up and think OMG what did he do and why did I not save him...or why couldnt I save him..this is my frist time here so will see how it goes..have been in other support groups and they did not work out for me......I am sorry for your loss and all I can offer for support is saying..I know and I am sorry and I hope things get better....and if you want to chat give me a shout...Kathy

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