A question regarding suicide notes

I wonder if anyone can tell me based on their experience or secondhand knowledge, does the police department typically not release a suicide note and retain it as evidence in an investigation? I did not get the one written by my son returned to me with his personal affects, but I am aware that one was written because it is mentioned in the police report. I called the evidence dept regarding this, and the person did not have an explanation for me, other than to say that she had verified everything on her check-off sheet. This is very troubling to me. I would appreciate it if anyone has information that can shed more light on the situation, as to what is the protocol regarding suicide notes. Thank you in advance.

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Permalink Reply by Theresa Sweaney on February 10, 2012 at 7:53pm

Carin, my son's note was one or two incomplete sentences, and they reflected the torment he suffered from his brain disorder; consequently, it was one more source of distress to me. Only approximately 15% have enough clarity or ability to leave a note. Sometimes I think it is a blessing in disguise that one isn't left, things said from an irrational state of mind can be so distressing. There are pros and cons to every one of our unique grieving situations, that make it challenging. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Permalink Reply by Carin~ Cody's Mom on February 10, 2012 at 8:09pm

I never thought of it that way. I'm sorry. Im just having a really bad day. Tormented by a bad dream last night that has stayed with me all day. I seem to be doing well for a few days then something like a bad dream will send me into a melt down. He left notes the 2 other times he tried to kill him self but the hospital has those. I don't have them and your right from what I can remember from them they were full of painfull sorrow on his part.

You all seem to have more clearty then me I feel so bad that I can't comfort the others on this site like some of you can. I just seem so lost sometimes.

Permalink Reply by Theresa Sweaney on February 11, 2012 at 8:21pm

My goodness, Carin, you are only 1.5 mos since you lost your boy. There is no clarity at that point. My son has been gone since May 1, 2011, and I am only recently coming into a better understanding of things. We struggle to make sense of something so senseless. We think, if only I had this piece or that, it might become clearer. It is just so unnatural; it's never going to make enough sense for us to ever really completely comprehend. What I do know--what I have come to understand--is that my son was tormented, and that I wasn't able or knowledgeable enough to rescue/save him.

I attribute most suicides to brain disorders. And when I try to rationalize what is basically an irrational act (not always, but most often), my Sig.O. and others kindly remind me. There isn't any sense to it to a rational thinking person, only the distorted logic/limited sight fueled by unbearable pain that made sense only to them. However, that does not stop us from the endless need and compulsion to examine and analyze all the available pieces of the puzzle and seek to understand what went wrong to cause such an act of desperation. You will do this over and over, most likely, for several months to come. But you will get through it. Your mind will work and work and work at grasping the unfathomable, and your heart will try to integrate that understanding. It's just too much to take in, so it's going to take some time. Despite what you think, you comfort me in the very act of "needing" comfort. I am now in a place to be able to comfort others, and, in doing so, this comforts me. {{{hugs}}}

Permalink Reply by Kandi L Greiner on February 22, 2012 at 11:21pm

Im not sure what the protocol is however a man that was neglagent in my sisters suiscde was ousted from the funeral and showed up anyways handing out copies of her note; however when the coriner requested the origonal it seems he refused and it is still in the b ds possession. Brandi the deceased was my idntcl. twin sister and Im pretty sure her last requests were meant for me: however I found a note from an attempt prior, and the things were said that I dont tell people so ultimately noyone is hurt. Also I remember finding while I held her hand as she was braindead after seven days 24 hour prior to her passing that a note existed, and noyone wanted to share this with me. Everyone knew of it except me. I exclaimed when I found this out still holding her hand in the hospital bed with her,"Wouldnt you want to know what it said if this were your twin sister?" as iI repeated myself, noyone would budge or give. A suisidal person can be a very ill child, I feel that being suisidal can lead one to a very desolate dispairing place. Maybe someyone wants to protect you. perhaps they misplaced the evidence, BUT even my little sister wanted a copy sent to her. This note could hold alot of meaning, or cause more grief, as a parent I think you have a right to have it. Id check every and all other avenues, call the corriner, I do know that the police are called for any unusual death check for the police detective assighned to your sons case at the local police station. I hope you find it deer? Kandi

Permalink Reply by Theresa Sweaney on February 23, 2012 at 8:15pm

Thanks Kandi. I did finally receive a copy of my son's note from APD. There was no personal information for me or other loved ones, just his last words and directives on how he wanted his remains handled. It's very sad what you have had to go through regarding your twin sister's note. When did she die, and how are you doing as far as processing your loss and grief?