Hi, I'm new this group. It's been 5 years and I finally realized that I need someone to talk to. Not just family and friends, but someone who knows exactly how I feel. My story is a complicated one and very personal, so forgive me for not giving details. I'd have to feel pretty comfortable with someone to tell them. Anyway, it's been 5 years since I lost my bestfriend and cousin. A part of me died with him, and I wonder if I'll ever be the same. At first it was horrible, indescribable pain... but I thought, surely, after all these years, it'd get better. It didn't. The pain is the same. Does it ever get better?

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No, I've never been to counselling. This is the first time I've reached out to anyone besides family and friends. I'm not sure why I haven't. It's hard for me to talk about. I have to push myself to talk about it.

I'm going to look into it. Thank you, Marsha.

Hi Sarah. My daughter (age 43) took her own life 1 1/2 years ago.  It was the worst thing that has ever happened to me. She lost her only child at age 14, 4 years.  A year after that her husband left her for another woman.  I guess she just couldn't handle any more.  I miss her terribly even though I have another daughter.  I do have to say, no it doesn't get better.  However it gets easier.  Each day is another day to get through.  Sometimes they are easy, sometimes not.  Just about everything reminds me of her.  I still her little laugh in my head.  And the way she'd say "hi mom" on the phone.  I know she is with her son and her biological father and her step father and her grandparents.  I know God has his arms wrapped around her and HE has provided her with the mansion with that porch and rocking chair that she always wanted.  There is a whole in my heart, as I am sure there is in yours, that will always be there.  So my thoughts are that I will not forget her, I will just wait until I will be able to be with her again..  My other daughter struggles with the greiving process also everyday.  We are at different phases of it so we usually can help each other. She has 3 daughters who loved their aunt.  They are all dealing in different ways, also...And believe me, we all know waht you are going through....It is not easy and never will be.  We are all trying to find our own coping methods....but we all help each other by  just being here on this site.  Feel free to talk about "anything" that is in your mind and heart.  Someone will reach out to you and give you the support and love that you will need.....

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