My brother committed suicide 1 yr & a 1/2 ago.  His roomate Bob & I were always friends, but now I have become obsessed with wanting/needing to spend time with him.  I am married & this doesn't sit well with my husband.  I don't know what to do or how to stop being so pre-occupied with thoughts of him!

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Colleen, I'm so sorry about your brother. I know what you are going through as my brother also commited suicide last year. I understand when you say you are preoccupied with thoughts of him. A very horrific thing happened to your life, this is not something that can be swept under a rug and not dealt with. Have you told your husband the reason for wanting to spend time with Bob? Could you have Bob come over to your house while your husband is there? You talking with Bob may very well be what gets you through the rough times you will be having.  I'm sure it's wonderful to talk with someone who knew your brother so well.  It sucks that we are going through this....but I hope you find some answers here on this site.  There are some really great people here who will listen and try to help you.

Hi Colleen, I was going to suggest the same thing as Joyce did.  Getting together--you and your husband with Bob--for a coffee or lunch date where you can ask questions and have him share stories and memories with you would be so comforting and help facilitate healing.  And if there is a site set up for friends to share memories (like Legacy), invite Bob to share memories with the family there also.  My son's college and military friends' shared memories were absolutely priceless to me.  I am hoping for a good outcome for you on this issue. 

Thanks to everyone!  As you can see... remarkably its now been almost 4 years & I made it through!


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