I blogged about this, but I have a 3 month old daughter.  My boyfriend is an only child and my only brother killed himself 2.5 years ago.  I'm unsure of what to tell her about her uncle she never met and why she doesn't have any aunts, uncles, or cousins.  I know it will be a while before I ever have to explain anything, but has anyone else had to deal with this? I'd like her to know about her uncle and what a great person he was, but do I tell her the truth about his death when she can understand?

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Here is a starting place for information on children and suicide bereavement:

http://www.save.org/childrensgrief

well, you just tell her he die before she was born, but he would love her just the same..

 

Hi Kat,  My youngest son was only 3 1/2 mo. old when my oldest daughter, then 18, die of an overdose.  She was at a friends house nd just never woke up the next morning...  One way we have 'kept her alive' for Zach is by telling stories about her to him.  Also, there was a long time when the lights would flicker and we'd say:"There's Mary again!" to him.  When he was only two, he thought Mary lived IN the lights, but now, at almost ten, he does know of her even though he'll never really know her.  Also, we've shown him lot's of photos, and in this way, we have taught him who she was.  I have felt it best to keep my strongest grief from him and try only to share my love for her with him.  Hope this helps and hope you are well and being gentle with yourself, Dee

Kat,

I struggle with the same thing daily. My father took his life when I was 7, im now 32 with 3 wonderful children. They all know their Papa's picture and how much each of them look like him. I dont have the memories of growing up around my father before he died. I have no memories of him at all, well except one, and that was at his wake. My older 2 know what happened but dont know details. My son, he is the youngest and more like my father than anyone could have ever thought possible.  Anyway, I believe kids need to know their departed family members and know that they are still with us everyday. We visit the grave site of my father together and leave flowers and just talk to him like he is sitting right next to him. My grandmother and aunt are great on sharing stories and talking about my father. I believe you would be right in telling her about her uncle! I believe if you tried to hide his memory from her, it would eat you alive inside. Your a mother, I have faith you will make the right choice, for some reason, we always seem too!! Good luck! 

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