i left my husband ben,and two days later he shot himself in the head.I have deep sorrow,and guilt,because i feel like i caused,him to kill himself.I cared deeply for him,but didn't have the love a wife should have from a husband.He was a sweet ,kind,gentle soul,and i will forever miss him.Someone please tell me how do i get through this horrible guilt,and greif.I feel like everyone feels,as if i might of well have pulled the trigger for him.I regret,that i have caused his family,so much greif,and unimaginable pain.
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I know your having a horrible time right now. One thing you did right was join this site. Everyone on here is here for you. I'm sure your husband was depressed after you left him. But in stood of going to the Dr. and explaining what was going on.He needed to tell a Dr. or he may have just needed someone to listen to him. The thing to remember is you didn't pull the trigger.I'm sure his family is very hurt and upset with you.You need to ask God to help you get thru this. Ask him to give you the strenght to go one day at a time.
I know what your going thru, my teenage daughter, who is eighteen. Had her world turned upside down on June 28, 2010. Her boyfriend of ten months shoot himself in the head, while she was talking to him on the phone. She raced to his house and could see him thru the curtains. He was slupped over a chair, with a bullet whole in his head. She was trying to break up with him.So he called and said your not going to take me back.She said not right now, get a job, get your lifre together and then we will talk. She really did love him. But at that time he thought it was over for good.So he said " ok five,four,three,two,one, bang. She jump in her car and saw him in that window. She couldn't call 911 all she was doing was screaming. She ask if she could go to the funeral and was told no. His family blames her. She had not been on her facebook in four months, so they other day she got on. There were messages from people calling her names. Telling her that she was mean to him and that is why he did it.
I know your having a horrible time right now. One thing you did right was join this site. Everyone on here is here for you. I'm sure your husband was depressed after you left him. But in stood of going to the Dr. and explaining what was going on.He needed to tell a Dr. or he may have just needed someone to listen to him. The thing to remember is you didn't pull the trigger.I'm sure his family is very hurt and upset with you.You need to ask God to help you get thru this. Ask him to give you the strenght to go one day at a time.
I know what your going thru, my teenage daughter, who is eighteen. Had her world turned upside down on June 28, 2010. Her boyfriend of ten months shoot himself in the head, while she was talking to him on the phone. She raced to his house and could see him thru the curtains. He was slupped over a chair, with a bullet whole in his head. She was trying to break up with him.So he called and said your not going to take me back.She said not right now, get a job, get your lifre together and then we will talk. She really did love him. But at that time he thought it was over for good.So he said " ok five,four,three,two,one, bang. She jump in her car and saw him in that window. She couldn't call 911 all she was doing was screaming. She ask if she could go to the funeral and was told no. His family blames her. She had not been on her facebook in four months, so they other day she got on. There were messages from people calling her names. Telling her that she was mean to him and that is why he did it.
It isn't your fault...it takes more than someone leaving you three dys ago to put that gun in someone's hand...he was probably depressed and never told anyone...and the reasons they don't tell are so varied it would be impossible to know them all. My husband took his life too and I spent a long time blaming myself and wondering what I could have done differently. Nothing. He killed himself fro his own reasons and even tho we may have been having a hard time, it still was not my fault. It is NEVER the survivors fault. We can not stop them by loving them or staying with them, or giving them everything we think they need or they think they need. If they are going to die they are going to die. And fixing blame on yourself only puts too much burden on you. Burden that is not yours to carry. And if anyone else blames you, you need to put them from your life til they get it and if they never get it, you need to keep them away always. No one should tell you how to grieve or when or with whom. You will pull through..you already lived through one of the hardest parts of this...learning that it happened and the shock that brings. I won't tell you it won't be hard, because it will. But you are strong and you can do it and there are a lot of people out there who will help!!
How have you been. Someone you love has commited suicide , your heart will ache with sadness, but you have to go on; As you go through this period of sorrow remember; The Bible assures us God "is healing the broken hearted ones, and is binding up their painful spot." Psalm 147:3
I also live with the DEEPEST GUILT! My beloved son Howie, shot himself in the head with my gun that my son talked me into purchasing! Can we be friends and possibly help each other?
Love & Hugs,
Shari
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