Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Dianne on November 7, 2010 at 1:03am

Hello, my name is Dianne; I am so sorry to know about your brother. I do not know how it feels to lose a brother, but I lost a father to suicide. My father committed suicide in front of me at the age of 15. I was left with guilt for many years. The guilt of "why didn't I stop him." "Why did I tell my mother to give him the gun". Was it because I was scared and tired of the arguments that constantly went on in our family? Why did he do it? What was going on with my father that made him do it? At least you are crying and that's a good sign. Crying is good, because it says you are healing. I didn't cry because it was against our culture in Black families of church going citizens that you don't show your feelings but move on and sweep whatever happened under the rug. And that's what I did for 40 years. But the grave opened up in my later years and caused me to become angry and to vent and become confused. At least you are crying, but while you are crying, get help. Do not handle your loss by yourself. Do not depend upon the pills to kill the pain or go into a sleep because it takes your mind off the pain. Talk and keep talking; keep a journal on hand and write every day because eventually your writing will turn into a book that will help someone else who will walk in your shoes. It was not until in my forties that I came to the conclusion that it was not my fault that my father took his life. It was what he was dealing with at the time. It was his demons that he had to deal with. When people take their life, the people they leave behind are the victims and it is not fair to the familes and friends left behind to be the victims. Look to God dear one and know that he will heal you and comfort you. Ask God to give you and show you who to talk to for comfort and be there for you. Take care and please holla back.

Permalink Reply by melissa on November 7, 2010 at 1:08am

I'm sorry about your brother and sister, I also lost my brother last year, he also hung himself and I lost my mom three months before he took his life, and is birthday is the 21st. of this month, He was my best friend and I am always wondering why and if there was something I could have done. My husband is always telling me I need to snap out of it, but I can't, I want to but it is too much. So I'm not sure what I can say to help, just that I know how you are feeling. My thoughts are with you.

Permalink Reply by Angela Ensley on November 7, 2010 at 11:28am

melissa said:

I'm sorry about your brother and sister, I also lost my brother last year, he also hung himself and I lost my mom three months before he took his life, and is birthday is the 21st. of this month, He was my best friend and I am always wondering why and if there was something I could have done. My husband is always telling me I need to snap out of it, but I can't, I want to but it is too much. So I'm not sure what I can say to help, just that I know how you are feeling. My thoughts are with you.

Its always hard at this time bc of his birthday & then Dec 20th will be 7 years. I always loved Christmas I now hate it more then anything. My brothers girlfriend had to open all the gifts he got her on Christmas but he was not there and we had to bury him the next day it was so hard. My heart went out to his girlfriend I felt so bad for her I was so anger for so long for him hurting her. I was so numb that nite I sat in a corner like this is not happing my brother would never leave me we were so close and I was having a little boy that he never got to meet I was so anger over that my anger has lefted now I just cry and cry I want so bad to grow old with my brother tell him I almost done school that I went back to collage I then had another son Blonde hair and blue eyes I named him after my brother Joey. My kids are mixed so its like Joey sent him to me I am glad I found this site because I never know who to talk to ever.

Permalink Reply by Joanne A. on November 9, 2010 at 8:00am

Hi Angela, I am Joanne and I too lost my bro to suicide. He too hanged himself on the 31st Dec early hours of 1st and it will be 2yrs this Dec that he is gone. He was only 35yrs. We are one year a part and I miss him so very much. I know the pain you are going through...It never will go away but we only gets used to carrying that hurt around with us until we come to accept that it will always be there with us. Yes, we got the good hours and the bad hours...crying just gets so natural that it only takes a few seconds to trigger us to feel the pain...My heart breaks and keeps breaking when i think of my handsome kind loving bro. I feel for you as you lost both of your siblings and i got a younger sister still with me. Angela, its not easy i know to move on but, try taking one day at a time for the sake of your two girls..I too have two kids and they take up a lot of my time and when i feel i am getting into a sad mood i try to find something to do to keep my thoughts occupied. You can write to me anytime on this page or to my e mail joanne_a72@yahoo.com You will be in my thoughts and prayers. A BIG HUG from me to you. Take care and God bless you and your family.
Love, Joanne.

Permalink Reply by Joanne A. on November 9, 2010 at 8:12am

Angela, My sister had her first baby only 5months a go and is so sad and hurt that our bro did not get to see her baby boy who's second name is our bro's name Chester.She wanted him to hold her son and play with him but that will not happen now... She too says that God gave her a son so that it will help even a bit to bare the loss of a brother. You are not alone as we all over here understand and share your pain. Hugs, Joanne.

Permalink Reply by Isabel Vargas on December 6, 2010 at 9:58pm

Hi, my name is Isabel and my brother just passed away on November 29, 2010. He also hanged himself and it is so dificult to deal with this pain that I am feeling. At night I cant sleep and I just start crying and remember about him.

Permalink Reply by Isabel Vargas on December 6, 2010 at 9:58pm

Hi, my name is Isabel and my brother just passed away on November 29, 2010. He also hanged himself and it is so dificult to deal with this pain that I am feeling. At night I cant sleep and I just start crying and remember about him.