I am having a really hard time lately! I can't seem to focus and the only time I
seem to have any peace is when I sleep! As soon as I wake up in the morning
and open my eyes the thought of my son's suicide hits me like a thunderbolt!
How are you folks doing?
It seems like life has now lost its joy for me forever!
My Dear Precious Elizabeth,
Thank you with all my heart for caring about me...how can I have people around me when all my
people are dead! My mother, my father, my husband and now my son!
Friends, I had two precious girlfriends who were more like sisters to me, so guess what?
They never met each other, didn't know each other, they were just my dear friends and they
both had cancer and they both died! This is about 4-5 years ago. Since then all I have is
false friends! FALSE FRIENDS! That is all I have. I would be a downer to them and they have no
time for me as they have their families!
How are you manageing my dear? You are a beatiful kind person and I pray you also get the
answers you need. Are you more peaceful these days? I would like to write a book about my
Thank you for that 'hug' dear Mollye, I feel it and your compassion.
I am so sorry to hear about your Beloved Son Jake! Thank you for understanding and I
pray we all find peace and become friends. No one can possibly understand how we as
mothers feel, unless they have also had to live through this devastating tragedy!
It is beyond mere words, a mothers grieving heart!
Hugs to you,
Mollye Self said:
Hi Shari, Oh honey I am hugging you right now through cyberspace. God bless your heart. I so know how you feel. My youngest son Jake killed himself June 17 last year so though it has been going on 9 months, it still seems as if I relive that phone call like it was yesterday. I too feel his loss each morning as I open my eyes but his death does not have the sting it had at first, so of course I truly hurt still and believe we as mothers will never "get over" it but we just will learn by the grace of God to live each day without our precious sons. One day at a time. Yes the blow softens over time but we will be forever changed.
My son passed July 17 of this year....and I'm struggling too. I sleep as much as I can, because it, too, provides a temporary relief from my pain. Waking up in the morning what I find the hardest. Right now...I'm just noticing this post was from a year ago...I hope it has gotten a little bit better for you.
My 16 year old son passed last December 6th, and it's still a daily battle just to get out of bed. It's strange how sleep is so hard at night, and such an escape during the day. I don't understand that right now. I don't feel like this has gotten any easier necessarily, and with holidays coming, I dread it all. I have a 10 year old son who absolutely adored his brother, and it's hard grieving, moving forward, trying to honor Bryan's memory, letting go, holding on...no wonder we're such a mess. I'm so tired of hearing, "You're so strong"...no, I'm a house of cards and a whisper away from 52 pickup.
What has helped me is individual counseling, a good psychiatrist that has prescribed for me an effective anti-depressant and I attend a depression counseling group. All of these together as none, on their own will work for me. I am learning to manage my depression; that I will never be cured, but I can live with it.