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suicide's survivors

talk to other survivors of loved ones that took their life and learn how to cope with everyday life, how to carry on,try to understand and know why you feel the way you do.

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Why Go On?

Started by Jason R Sep 30. 0 Replies

Unbearable emotional pain!

Started by Shari Soklow. Last reply by Edward Casey Sep 19. 7 Replies

Dead brothers roomate!

Started by colleen murphy. Last reply by colleen murphy Aug 10. 3 Replies

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Comment by Carin~ Cody's Mom on February 6, 2012 at 1:38pm

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Tonight Monday 2/6/12 Cody's Bedroom were he died will be blessed by our pastor and close family and friends. Please pray for or think of us at 6:30pm
Comment by Jacqueline Rowles on February 5, 2012 at 8:22pm

dear Jerica,  I haven'tbeen on  here for  quite  some time.  I am so sorry for the sadness you are feeling.  I lost my  wonderful  son Chuck Dec. 22  2010 and have bad days still.I  have his voice on a little recorder from a message that he  left  on my voice mail.  He was 37 and had 3 children and I hardly see them. IF you ever just need to talk I am a good listener. My name is Jackie Rowles  717-792-1042  God is with all of us

Comment by Jerica Guerra on February 4, 2012 at 7:03pm

Hey everyone.... hope everyone is doing ok. i've been ok so far. For some reason im very sad today, since i woke up. but me as usual try to have a smile on my face everyday, while i hurt inside. I have to keep a smile for my job, friends and my customers. (im a postal worker). I'm slowly trying to come to terms that my lil brother is no longer here with me and my family. But i still miss him so badly. I miss his text, his voice, his evrything. as im writing now im crying..... i still have his text on my phone. every now and then i read them. but im glad that i still have that. :) I'm sorry i cant write anymore rite now. I'm feeling really lousy and im crying. God bless u all and take care. Remember take it one day at a time..........

Comment by Gary Williams on February 3, 2012 at 9:53pm

Haven't written in a while but I do read posts almost every day.  I have to thank all of the people here for helping me deal with the loss of my dearest Charlie. I know that people are spreading the word that this site exists and that it HELPS! My life is nowhere close to back together but I feel so much better some days. I still think of this beautiful young life being lost and all the great things he could have done. Again thank you all for writing and sharing your stories, I believe that God works through each of us and that He will provide us with comfort. God Bless all of you and again thank you!

Comment by Joyce M Rubacky on February 2, 2012 at 8:29am

Dear Joanna, when my parents died I suddenly realized my own mortality. Could this be what your daughters are going through? Also, do you think they are acting this way because they realize one day they are going to lose you too? May God bless.

Comment by Margo powell on February 1, 2012 at 9:00pm
Dear Joanna,

I've been reading the posts you have written. Theresa is right, that you are doing what works best for you to get past the devastation that your husband's loss caused in your life.
I went through a very difficult time following my ex husbands death which was followed by my brothers death 6 months later. I found my daughter and some family members to be very angry. They couldn't process the losses the way a more mature person might learn to cope.
Time will be your best friend. Understand what is going on with them and know that they often lash out or show indifference to you because they feel unable to find the answers they need to satisfy them. I decided I would be the one to pick my fights meaning when others wanted to attack me I chose to keep my mouth shut and remind myself that they just weren't capable of understanding!
None of us have the answers but what are the options? Continue to choose the options that will keep you in a healthy state of mind.
I wish you well and success moving forward. God Bless You, Margo
Comment by Theresa Sweaney on January 31, 2012 at 3:49pm

Dear Joanna, I see what you're saying.  I'm glad you are not isolating.  It tells me that you are indeed able to grow past your pain and loss.  If they truly understood, I think they would be happy about you not letting the loss you have suffered keep you stuck in a painful place and state of mind.  But we realize and understand that Every person has the right to grieve and get past their loss in the ways that work best for them as unique individuals.  I think I too would feel very indignant if my well-meaning family or friends tried to prevent that by being overbearing with me and not showing respect for my grieving process.  I can see that your boundaries are there for your well being, and I hope your older two children will come around as they gain more knowledge and insight.

Comment by Joanna Fuerst on January 31, 2012 at 1:03pm

Dear Theresa.. I wish I would feel that way about their reactins ...but I do not ..I do feel lots of rejection.. I feel it's because I dont and won't let them tell me how to run my life now that Daddy is gone.. They want me to do what only they feel is right.I am not only there Mother .I'm a person and I have feelings too. But they just feel I should stay home and mourn all the time, But at 1st they wanted me to get out because I was in a dark place for several months. I do my own praying , talkin and visiting his grave , But they think I should tell them ever turn I make .. Now that Ive learned to live the fact he's gone.I do go out.. now they say I go go go .... but I have nobody to answer too after 21 yrs , so I do get with my friends more then i use too , But being lonely is not what I want . So I need to move on and live my life for me and my youngest daughter..2 of them are grown, marries, with there own familes ... and have there own lives.. I don't buttt into there life , So why they tring to run my life? . Did they for get I raised them .

Comment by Theresa Sweaney on January 28, 2012 at 9:31pm

Joanna, I wonder if your daughters are stand-offish with you because being with you might remind them of their loss, and they want to distance themselves from the pain of their dad's death?  Maybe they are not rejecting you personally, but it is a self-preserving response at this point in time?

Comment by Jerica Guerra on January 26, 2012 at 7:48pm

Hi Joanna, i too felt angry, hurt, guilty, especially angry for not noticing it in him. I lost my lil Brother but i cannot compare it to yr pain for your husband. My brother was my heart and all. we're only a year apart so its like he was my twin. He just made 8 months yesterday. I was sad in the morning on my way to work, but then i thought i know he wants me to move on and live life! how can i when i just lost my partner in crime. :(  i pray everyday to give me stregth to live and love. because honestly i would of follow my brother. Joanna u have alot of support from your family as well as us in this forum. Its still hard for me after 8 month so i can imagine the first 2 months after his passing. Believe me its gets easier as time goes by. I didnt think it would but it does. Remember the good times u had with him and your daughters. Give time for your daughters to grieve in their own way but never, never give up on them. they will come back to u and talk to u but just give them time. rite now they have u to blame but they will realize it wasnt. Keep your head up for yourself and your children. i will pray for u and family. Take Care :)

 

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