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suicide's survivors

talk to other survivors of loved ones that took their life and learn how to cope with everyday life, how to carry on,try to understand and know why you feel the way you do.

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Why Go On?

Started by Jason R Sep 30. 0 Replies

Unbearable emotional pain!

Started by Shari Soklow. Last reply by Edward Casey Sep 19. 7 Replies

Dead brothers roomate!

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Comment by Christine Bastone on April 10, 2012 at 7:27pm

Today it's been two months since my sister died.  :(   And I can't seem to focus on much else. 

Comment by Donna Messerly on April 10, 2012 at 6:50pm

Oh Gloria. I'm so sorry. I lost my brother the exact same way on December 29, 2011.

I don't know if I can help you. But, I know I can listen. It sounds like you've been through a long string of difficult situations too. A deep breath is a good place to start.

It's okay for you to cry all day. I hope you are eating, getting at least some sleep, and taking care of yourself.

Someone told me recently that when I feel like that I should just try to summon 20 seconds of courage. It only takes 20 seconds of courage to get up and get in the shower. With 20 seconds of courage you can decide to drink a cold glass of milk, or wash your face, or make a phone call. Try that, will you? Only do what you HAVE to do. You don't have to be brave or strong right now. It's too soon. Just think of the most important thing you need right now. Then, try to summon 20 seconds of courage to get what you can.

Comment by Donna Messerly on April 10, 2012 at 5:30pm

It is hard when tragic events are tied to what should be wonderful life affirming days of celebration. Last year my niece buried her 5-year-old son on her birthday in June. He was hit by a car in front of her. I can't imagine how to comfort her except with a brief acknowledgment of her grief and a prayer.

Comment by Theresa Sweaney on April 10, 2012 at 5:27pm

Jerica, my daughter found out about Charles' death the day before her birthday, and she spent her birthday on a plane travelling in order to be here for me.  I'm can't imagine how hard your and her birthdays are because of the link with the death of our loved ones.  Her baby is due in May, and I'm hoping it will arrive on her birthday, so as to overwrite some of the sadness of that date.  I hope some good will come to overwrite the sadness of your birthdate as well.

Comment by Donna Messerly on April 10, 2012 at 5:26pm

:)

Comment by Theresa Sweaney on April 10, 2012 at 5:24pm

Me too Donna.  My very words this morning.  I'm so broken.  I'm thankful for you all.

Comment by Donna Messerly on April 10, 2012 at 5:06pm

Regarding my grief counselor's comment, "I guess that depends on how long you continue to fight it" . . . who doesn't fight? The alternative is to give up. I don't understand it all. Pretty sure I'm broken.

Comment by Donna Messerly on April 10, 2012 at 5:03pm

I would LOVE it if you would light a candle for me. Yes, Theresa, it is hard. I'm having some anniversary feelings as (I think we talked about this once) the anniversary of my dad's death is May 1.  The air today feels the same as it did then, I'm missing my dad and sister and brother more than ever before. This is the time of year my dad started "lambing season" on his sheep ranch . . . sights, sound, smells . . . they all have an effect.  Sometimes I think it sounds so good to just lie down and let the roof cave in around me. Just when I think I'm ready to do that . . . I find my 20 seconds of courage to move on.  I'll say a prayer for you, Theresa.

Comment by Jerica Guerra on April 10, 2012 at 5:02pm
@Theresa, thanks for lighting a candle, I will b doing the same for all of us. :-) also I too have my brothers 1st year anniversay of his death, it will beon May 25th. My god the time has flown by. I don't know how to feel at this point. I rem this like it was yesterday. I replay the whole scenario over n over. :-( . Also the day I buried my brother was on May 31st which was my Birthday. So that too I will feel like sh** (excuse my french) but that's how I'm ging to feel. But I know my family will b looking out for me cuz clearly they will know y. :-( please pray for me, cuz lord knows imma need it! :-( god bless..........
Comment by Theresa Sweaney on April 10, 2012 at 4:48pm

I'm so sad today.  Maybe it is that my son Charles' 1st anniv of his death is soon (May 1).  That is an interesting comment by your therapist, Donna.  It's sometimes difficult to know if we're doing it 'right', isn't it!!!  How to 'let it flow "through" us', and on and on.  Joyce, sometimes I'm still numb.  I go back and forth between numbness and awareness.  Today my tolerance for pain is low.  I'm lighting a candle for all of us here today.  Love and hugs to you.

 

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