suicide's survivors

talk to other survivors of loved ones that took their life and learn how to cope with everyday life, how to carry on,try to understand and know why you feel the way you do.

Members: 623
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Discussion Forum

I dont know how much longer i can hold on...

Started by Melissa Shuler. Last reply by Angel Jenkins-doyle Mar 11. 5 Replies

I wasn't ready to say good-bye

Started by Kristin miller. Last reply by T.C. Goodwin Feb 26. 4 Replies

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Comment by Karen Campbell on April 11, 2012 at 8:09pm

@ Gloria,  Its been 13 months since my daughter took her life.  It is getting easier,,,however not better.  It never will be better.  I actually got through Easter services with only a few tears...The tears still come sometimes from no where but that's ok.  Tears are cleansing.  I have read that the grieving process can last as long as 5 or more years.  Some people are less and others longer.  There are not set rules.  We all do what we have to do to get through each day.  I still can't say that my daughter did the "S" is too painful to say that word.  We too have doubts that she did this alone.  There are too many questions that the police did not answer for us.  I have contacted the media to print my story and also have submitted to Dateline.  I am having a very difficult time forgiving certain people, especially her ex husband and his entire family, and a "friend" who she trusted to be executor to her will and her "friend" who she trusted as an attorney.  Her sister and I have had to "buy" her things through an auction,,,we even had difficulty getting clothes for her funeral....loooonngg story!!  But keep your faith in the Lord...he never makes mistakes....there is a reason for everything..and all prayers are answered,,,not always like we want but HIS way....we just have to try to see His reasons.  And sometimes we will never know the reason He does things like he does...Just remember we will see our loved ones again.  Jesus died for all our sins (everyone who proclaims Him as their Lord).  I'll be saying prayers for your healing.....

Comment by Margo powell on April 11, 2012 at 2:26pm
You are all very INSPIRING!!!!!!!
Comment by Margo powell on April 11, 2012 at 2:20pm
Thank You All,

You are truly great examples of faith, courage,strength and most of all, LOVE! God Bless each of you every moment and step of this journey!
Comment by Gary Williams on April 11, 2012 at 1:55pm

Hello to my on-line family and friends.  I also have not written in a while but wanted to welcome the newer members and reassure you that you have found a great place to help with your recovery processes.  I first came here when there were less that 300 members and wrote sometimes every day/night.  As the minutes, hours, days, weeks, months and now years have gone by I really don't think I will ever understand what has happened, at least not from a "satisfaction of knowing" standpoint, but have started to accept that what happened is something I cannot change, really could not have changed unless maybe I was right there when it happened and even then may have just postponed it until a later date.  So many what if's that you learn you are only keeping yourself from moving forward by dwelling on them.  Granted it is hard and nearly impossible to put these "questions" aside, but the important thing now is to move forward.  Give yourself ample time to grieve, as some of you are new and these tragedies just occurred, give yourself time.  I will not promise anyone that it will get better, but you will learn to deal with these feelings as time passes.  Even after a year and almost two I cannot think of a day gone by that I didn't stop (literally stop) and think of my dearest Charlie and wish he were here again.  But now I know he's gone to Heaven and is safe from any further pain or suffering and that I will see him again there. This doesn't mean I don't miss him now cause I do and always will, but that is just his undying love that he left here in my heart.

Again welcome to the new members and I am sorry for your loss, I as almost all of us here will keep you and your families in my prayers and hope you find a way to deal with your pain.  You may never understand as I don't, but you will learn that there is a way to get through the next few minutes, then days, and so on. God Bless All!

Comment by Margo powell on April 11, 2012 at 3:37am
To each of you on this site, I hope amid your pain and suffering you remember that even death is temporary. remember, why we celebrate Easter at this time of the year, to acknowledge the resurrection of Jesus Christ. Each of us, as well as, our loved ones will also be resurrected. Maybe not soon enough, but that knowledge gives more hope than any other insight we could hope to glean during difficult trials. Hold on!!! That 20 seconds Donna speaks of is enough to put one foot in front of the other to move forward.
God Bless each of you with renewed hope for the future.
Comment by Donna Messerly on April 10, 2012 at 7:29pm

Wow. That is A LOT to focus on already.

Comment by Christine Bastone on April 10, 2012 at 7:27pm

Today it's been two months since my sister died.  :(   And I can't seem to focus on much else. 

Comment by Donna Messerly on April 10, 2012 at 6:50pm

Oh Gloria. I'm so sorry. I lost my brother the exact same way on December 29, 2011.

I don't know if I can help you. But, I know I can listen. It sounds like you've been through a long string of difficult situations too. A deep breath is a good place to start.

It's okay for you to cry all day. I hope you are eating, getting at least some sleep, and taking care of yourself.

Someone told me recently that when I feel like that I should just try to summon 20 seconds of courage. It only takes 20 seconds of courage to get up and get in the shower. With 20 seconds of courage you can decide to drink a cold glass of milk, or wash your face, or make a phone call. Try that, will you? Only do what you HAVE to do. You don't have to be brave or strong right now. It's too soon. Just think of the most important thing you need right now. Then, try to summon 20 seconds of courage to get what you can.

Comment by Donna Messerly on April 10, 2012 at 5:30pm

It is hard when tragic events are tied to what should be wonderful life affirming days of celebration. Last year my niece buried her 5-year-old son on her birthday in June. He was hit by a car in front of her. I can't imagine how to comfort her except with a brief acknowledgment of her grief and a prayer.

Comment by Theresa Sweaney on April 10, 2012 at 5:27pm

Jerica, my daughter found out about Charles' death the day before her birthday, and she spent her birthday on a plane travelling in order to be here for me.  I'm can't imagine how hard your and her birthdays are because of the link with the death of our loved ones.  Her baby is due in May, and I'm hoping it will arrive on her birthday, so as to overwrite some of the sadness of that date.  I hope some good will come to overwrite the sadness of your birthdate as well.


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