suicide's survivors

talk to other survivors of loved ones that took their life and learn how to cope with everyday life, how to carry on,try to understand and know why you feel the way you do.

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I wasn't ready to say good-bye

Started by Kristin miller. Last reply by Rebecca Church Oct 21, 2017. 5 Replies

I dont know how much longer i can hold on...

Started by Melissa Shuler. Last reply by Angel Jenkins-doyle Mar 11, 2016. 5 Replies

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Comment by Margo powell on April 11, 2012 at 3:37am
To each of you on this site, I hope amid your pain and suffering you remember that even death is temporary. remember, why we celebrate Easter at this time of the year, to acknowledge the resurrection of Jesus Christ. Each of us, as well as, our loved ones will also be resurrected. Maybe not soon enough, but that knowledge gives more hope than any other insight we could hope to glean during difficult trials. Hold on!!! That 20 seconds Donna speaks of is enough to put one foot in front of the other to move forward.
God Bless each of you with renewed hope for the future.
Comment by Donna Messerly on April 10, 2012 at 7:29pm

Wow. That is A LOT to focus on already.

Comment by Christine Bastone on April 10, 2012 at 7:27pm

Today it's been two months since my sister died.  :(   And I can't seem to focus on much else. 

Comment by Donna Messerly on April 10, 2012 at 6:50pm

Oh Gloria. I'm so sorry. I lost my brother the exact same way on December 29, 2011.

I don't know if I can help you. But, I know I can listen. It sounds like you've been through a long string of difficult situations too. A deep breath is a good place to start.

It's okay for you to cry all day. I hope you are eating, getting at least some sleep, and taking care of yourself.

Someone told me recently that when I feel like that I should just try to summon 20 seconds of courage. It only takes 20 seconds of courage to get up and get in the shower. With 20 seconds of courage you can decide to drink a cold glass of milk, or wash your face, or make a phone call. Try that, will you? Only do what you HAVE to do. You don't have to be brave or strong right now. It's too soon. Just think of the most important thing you need right now. Then, try to summon 20 seconds of courage to get what you can.

Comment by Donna Messerly on April 10, 2012 at 5:30pm

It is hard when tragic events are tied to what should be wonderful life affirming days of celebration. Last year my niece buried her 5-year-old son on her birthday in June. He was hit by a car in front of her. I can't imagine how to comfort her except with a brief acknowledgment of her grief and a prayer.

Comment by Theresa Sweaney on April 10, 2012 at 5:27pm

Jerica, my daughter found out about Charles' death the day before her birthday, and she spent her birthday on a plane travelling in order to be here for me.  I'm can't imagine how hard your and her birthdays are because of the link with the death of our loved ones.  Her baby is due in May, and I'm hoping it will arrive on her birthday, so as to overwrite some of the sadness of that date.  I hope some good will come to overwrite the sadness of your birthdate as well.

Comment by Donna Messerly on April 10, 2012 at 5:26pm


Comment by Theresa Sweaney on April 10, 2012 at 5:24pm

Me too Donna.  My very words this morning.  I'm so broken.  I'm thankful for you all.

Comment by Donna Messerly on April 10, 2012 at 5:06pm

Regarding my grief counselor's comment, "I guess that depends on how long you continue to fight it" . . . who doesn't fight? The alternative is to give up. I don't understand it all. Pretty sure I'm broken.

Comment by Donna Messerly on April 10, 2012 at 5:03pm

I would LOVE it if you would light a candle for me. Yes, Theresa, it is hard. I'm having some anniversary feelings as (I think we talked about this once) the anniversary of my dad's death is May 1.  The air today feels the same as it did then, I'm missing my dad and sister and brother more than ever before. This is the time of year my dad started "lambing season" on his sheep ranch . . . sights, sound, smells . . . they all have an effect.  Sometimes I think it sounds so good to just lie down and let the roof cave in around me. Just when I think I'm ready to do that . . . I find my 20 seconds of courage to move on.  I'll say a prayer for you, Theresa.


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