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suicide's survivors

talk to other survivors of loved ones that took their life and learn how to cope with everyday life, how to carry on,try to understand and know why you feel the way you do.

Members: 633
Latest Conversations: Apr 24

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Comment by Joyce M Rubacky on June 26, 2012 at 4:52pm
Just having a horrible day today. It can be so hard to put it into words. I guess the more you try and repress your feelings, at some point those feelings want to explode! I saw a small raccoon, which had been hit and killed by a car. I totally lost it! I pulled into the garage and just sat there and screamed and screamed. That little raccoon was some kind of trigger that set the wheels in motion....it made all those feelings I have been trying to ignore come to the surface. Can't say I feel any better, but I now know not to ignore what I am feeling inside.
Comment by Theresa Sweaney on June 13, 2012 at 1:32pm

Yes, Carin, it was really lovely. I'm glad to know about that web site.  I think I will make a Smilebox video too.

Comment by Daphne vaughn (Anthony's Mom ) on June 12, 2012 at 4:27pm

carin,watched your video,you did a wonderful job honoring your son,he had such a beautiful smile thats what everyone always said about my son anthony .i wish you peace wish i could give you a hug .blessing to you  love Daphne

Comment by Gary Williams on June 12, 2012 at 2:26pm

A brief hello to all and a special welcome to newer members, and Leticia we are not strong alone but only together from the love we have found here in each others stories and support.  I was a real mess two years ago on 4th of July, I got the call in church.  I couldn't even think for weeks! I found this site and only then started to think there was a reason, maybe I would never know it, but there was one.  I still don't know why, but I cherish now the few years we had together and go on with my life...an empty seat in the car, an empty chair at the table but never a moment he is not in my heart.  As the anniversary approaches we put together another annual fundraiser, the last thing he did was work all day setting this up and helping his friends, he wasn't even a member of any organization, just offered to help. This year's event will be on June 30th as the 4th is mid-week, but this will always be a tribute to Charlie for me.  Time helps us deal with the hurt and loss but I really wouldn't say there will ever be a time that it goes away, just a time we start to understand the feelings and try to think of the good times we did get to share.  I have posted before, no-one took them away from us, they never belonged to us, but to Him and they are all safe with Him now and forever. God Bless You all and Thank You for being my friends!

Comment by Theresa Sweaney on June 12, 2012 at 1:53pm

My son Charles has been gone 14-1/2 mos now.  I weep still, a little each day, occasionally I still cry out and bellow.  Yesterday I met with a fellow grieving mother from my Survivors of Suicide recovery group for coffee.  This new friend I've gained through my tragedy has become so dear to me.  We know and understand each other in a deep way.  It was comforting to be able to share my experience and emotions with someone who, unlike others in my life who have moved on and who I don't want to wear out with my ongoing grief, has also not "moved on."  I encourage each of you to locate and try out a grief recovery group in your area.  Some have and did not find it as helpful, but if you haven't tried one yet, it is worth it to see if this would be a useful strategy.

Comment by Carin~ Cody's Mom on June 12, 2012 at 1:06pm

Margo,

Thank you watching Cody's video on his birthday. I'm doing a little better today now that I survided another day I just didnt think I would.

Sometime I feel like the only poeple that understand what I'm going through are those of you on this site. Seems like everyone around me including my husband seemed to have moved on with their life. This is my new life. Even with councling I have not figured out how to live a somewhat normal life without my son.  

Comment by mark A A on June 12, 2012 at 4:27am

thank you all for your comments,

just reading them has not so much helped but for a second or so i can feel it opened emotional doors.

i have been so critical of GPs in the past but i feel this guy was so genuine and could see how much pain i was in.

if not for my girlfriend he would not of even know what was wrong as she had to speak for me as i could not even bring my self to speak of my pain. So i suppose i can offer a snip it of advice to someone feeling they need help go and get it from your GP i feel  ive taken my first step. 

all your comments are so valuable and hopefully things will start to improve now  i feel a bit better knowing your all there.

Comment by Margo powell on June 12, 2012 at 3:10am
Carin, I went to your smile box Birthday Montage to honor Cody and his life. What a beautiful young man. Sending you healing thoughts, God's Blessings and Love, WISHING YOU PEACE, Margo
Comment by Latisha Webb on June 12, 2012 at 1:52am

Carla, thank you for your kind words and im sorry about your son. My cousin was also my aunt and uncles only son. I have tried to help them the best i know how, cause i know the questions i have had. My aunt told me shortly after the funeral that I helped more than anyone cause I didnt expect to make it all better for them, that I let them grieve and was just there for support. But like I told her, no one can make it better, we just have to be that shoulder to lean on. 

Comment by Carla on June 12, 2012 at 12:32am

Dear Latisha - You are neither weak or selfish - ever. It does not matter how many days or years go by for our hearts to always have a hole where our loved one should be. Let no one tell you there is a right or wrong way to grieve nor that our grief should take only so long or end on a certain date.

 

I don't think our grief gets better - I think we just learn how to get up each morning and get through the next day. I would never have believed I could have gotten through losing our only son. I know that the love, support, care, and thoughts of others, and of God, carrying me this whole time. I could not do it on my own.

 

And every holiday, family event that passes, every birthday celebrated, makes me miss him more - that he is not here to share with us. I dont' know how we do it - we just do - and hopefully somewhere there comes a brightness in our lives, and some peace, and maybe some joy some day. I wish that for us all.

 

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