suicide's survivors

talk to other survivors of loved ones that took their life and learn how to cope with everyday life, how to carry on,try to understand and know why you feel the way you do.

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Comment by Carla on January 1, 2013 at 5:34pm

I often read the postings here but don't write as much anymore. When I started there were only 70 members; now 508.

Today is the first day of a new year. That doesn't mean much to me anymore; just another day. But I am really trying to look to the future.

Our son, Michael, took his life December 13, 2009 - three years ago - and it seems like yesterday. My life became "before" and "after". Mel - it doesn't get "better" as those who have never walked in our shoes try to tell us to help us feel better. I can tell you - It will get easier to hold and get through the day (most days) and find some light and even laughter. This is the most difficult journey we will ever experience - and most people won't understand either and I am glad for them. I have had a wonderful, caring grief counselor - find one. And a husband who gives his all to take care of me even when his grief is great. The shooting in Newtown really caused me to crash worse this year... and my father's worsening dementia. But two of Michael's close friends came and spent some time with us and even though it was very emotional for me, it was also a blessing; they have not forgotten our son.

I read the posts here and know the depth of grief and pain. I still cry every day - at some point. I have come to accept that it will be that way probably for the rest of my life. Please know that every one here understands, accepts, prays, crys, and thinks of all of you all the time. we support each other in our own ways. I found great comfort here in those first horrific dark days. I still find comfort here.

I pray that as a new year starts each person here will find a small bit of release from pain and sorrow, see a little bit of sunshine, and know that they are not alone.


Comment by Mel mcCoy on December 24, 2012 at 6:31pm
I found my partner and friend I feel so lost and the pain hurts so bad. Why does everyone say it gets better. Right now I can't see it getting better it just hurts more and more everyday. It just hurts so much
Comment by Tamika on December 14, 2012 at 9:59am
A lot of days I'm able to give back when I'm doing ok. Today is not one of those days. My brother did what he did 5 years ago. And with my Dad passing away in September I feel so alone. I never ever thought when I lost one of parents my brother would already be gone. It's just so hard I wish he was here. So we could be there for each other but I'm alone. I have no other siblings. I take solace in knowing he's not alone my Dad is with him now. But I just feel soooo alone. I have my Mom and my boyfriend who has been with me through it all. I still feel alone in a crowd. I feel tortured. My heart is broken. I would give anything not to feel so alone. It's hit me hardest he was my Dad. Everyone is like well you have to get up and go don't be all sad. But it's my Dad. I went through the hospital visits having hope feeding him. Then nursing home going to physicsl therapy and got him back to health. I sat with him in dialysis. Then i was home with him making sure he was taken care of. Then like a sick joke he died. No one seems to understand how hard this is for me. I know my brother would. I'm just soo sick of hurting. If not for my Mom and b/f I would end this. I don't let anyone in on how much pain I'm in to protect them. But truth is my heart and soul are being tortured by this grief and having to get up everyday and live with it. FML.
Comment by Tamika on December 8, 2012 at 10:32am
Hello Susane,
First of all my condolences to you the rest of your friends. I think you guys as her friends need to do this. You guys need to grieve you guys lost a friend. Even if it is against the family's wishes. No matter the circumstances of someone's death. That is someone who will no longer be here. Someone you loved she deserves to be memorialized. Her family is not sweeping it under the rug. It's just a process. I went through it. With my brother's suicide. It's hard to come to terms that yes they made this decision. For some families it's harder than others. For them it's harder because she was saved before. So it's a little more to overcome when there was an attempt involved. So don't blame the family they are where they are supposed to be. For you all as friends yes you do the memorial. You as friends need to do what's right for the stage you all are at in your grief.
Comment by Daphne vaughn (Anthony's Mom ) on December 7, 2012 at 3:44pm

Bless your heart Tracy my heart goes out to you. my son also committed suicide its a very hard thing to deal with theres to many what ifs its been 2 yrs this past oct . still very hard . not a day goes by that i dont remember that sad day .have to keep your faith .i will keep you in my prayers big big hugs to you.

Comment by Tracy Mullins on December 7, 2012 at 11:59am

My son Randy Committed suicide in June and i just don't know how to get past this i cry every day it's been almost six months if he knew how heart broken we were i don't think he would have done this. My sister found him  i just don't know what to do.

Comment by Susanne Barker on December 2, 2012 at 10:14pm

A dear friend of mine committed suicide the Wednesday before Thanksgiving and her body was found by her son that Friday. She had tried to kill herself 5 years ago with an overdose but was saved by another friend getting to her in time. She was thankful and seemed to be in good spirits but with some difficulties. She chose to hang herself this time giving there no chance that we could have saved her.

Her son is an alcoholic and is dysfunctional about putting a notice in the paper or letting her friends know of any service that is being planned.

We have found a place where we can have a memorial service for her...all of her friends will participate. But we wanted to put something in the paper to let other people who knew her know that she has passed. 

Could we put a notice in the paper as good friends of hers and announce the memorial we are having in her honor.

This is just a terrible situation and we, her friends, need to grieve our loss while her family seems to want to hide the fact that she died because of how she died. 

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks so much.

Comment by Tamika on November 25, 2012 at 9:37am
My 22 year old baby brother made a choice to leave us 5 years ago. Which is why I've joined. I'm just trying to survive.
Comment by Theresa Sweaney on November 15, 2012 at 1:36am

I received this in my email today and wanted to share it with you all here:

For 2012 Viewers of the International Survivors of Suicide Day Webcast

Thank you all for your interest and previous participation in viewing the webcast for International Survivors of Suicide Day 2011. This year's 2012 program is scheduled for Saturday, November 17 from 1:00-2:30 P.M. EST (GMT -5). We anticipate reaching thousands of survivors of suicide loss around the world. We hope this will promote a sense of connection, healing, and community for survivors. Join in the live online chat immediately following the webcast.

Register to Watch Online

If you don't live near a participating city, register to watch from home as a diverse group of survivors discuss their losses, how they coped, and much more. We warmly invite you to participate in the live online chat afterwards.

Find a Location Near You

Each location around the world welcomes survivors of suicide loss, providing a safe and healing space where everyone can comfortably participate in a way that is meaningful to them. Join with others to listen to a diverse panel of survivors discuss their losses, how they coped, and much more.

Come in person to experience the powerful sense of connection and community that is forged between survivors of suicide loss. You are not alone. Draw strength and meaning from your community and from your own experiences by showing up on Saturday, November 17th.

Learn more at

Warm wishes,
Kristen Smith
AFSP Survivor Initiatives Manager


Comment by Carin~ Cody's Mom on October 23, 2012 at 7:50pm

Thanks Theresa,

I have my patch that i'm working on...


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