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suicide's survivors

talk to other survivors of loved ones that took their life and learn how to cope with everyday life, how to carry on,try to understand and know why you feel the way you do.

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Comment by Pamela Snyder on November 21, 2013 at 7:28am

I am so sorry, I wish this would stop, I'm sorry to say I did not know that suicide happened so much.  It will be a year on December 10th for my beautiful son.

 

 

Comment by Margo powell on November 20, 2013 at 5:51pm
Spoke with two different friends this morning, each of which have lost a friend to suicide in the last two days. One, a young man just shot himself early this morning. The other, on Sunday! It makes me sick to my stomach when I hear this:(. My heart suffers for all that are going through the grief these losses cause.
Comment by Lynda on November 11, 2013 at 2:17pm

Balloon birthday  memorial yesterday for my oldest Bryan (17th bday), who passed last December, lead by my youngest Jayce (10). Jayce was so energized leading the "happy birthday" song; I couldn't get a word out, just tears.  There were lots of friends and family present to back us up though.  We released the balloons, and the sun came out for the first time all day--beautiful.  Then Jayce lead the most precious. thoughtful prayer.  So very proud of him.  The whole day was much sweeter than I expected it to be, but completely mentally fatiguing.  Jayce cried afterwards and was apologizing for doing so--something I catch myself doing too.  I explained that it is perfectly fine to cry; it's proof of our love for Bryan.  Our friends gave us a great big group hug and we went home...very therapeutic I think for all of us.  Lots of tears, hugs and laughter.  Good day.

Comment by Caryn Hersh on October 24, 2013 at 1:11pm

thank you!

Comment by Lisa Schenke on October 24, 2013 at 11:47am

Hi Caryn, Just to clarify, the quote was not from my book. It was a comment to the Star Ledger from a person who read the about my story. Yes, you can definitely copy it. It's on my website with just the person's initials. She signed her name to the Star Ledger blog but I just used the initials :)

 

Comment by Caryn Hersh on October 24, 2013 at 11:35am

Lisa can I use that quote from your book on my FB page? I would give you credit obviously and refer people to your blog.

Comment by Tracy W. E. on October 23, 2013 at 3:48pm

I just wanted to say that I can't speak for anyone else's loved one's.  Only for myself and my own experience's.  I will only offer advice and my opinion when it is asked for.  I don't have all the answers but I do have an understanding of what it's like to be in the shoes of someone that is contemplating suicide.  I narrowly escaped it and am a miracle to be here.  My main reason for joining this group was to try and help those who have lost loved one's to suicide understand what their loved one may have been thinking or going through.  Hopefully I can enlighten you and ease your mind by answering simple questions you haven't been able to get answered.  You all have my deepest sympathy and condolences!!!

Comment by Tracy W. E. on October 23, 2013 at 3:43pm

Mollie, thank you!  I can't speak for your brother obviously but in my heart of hearts I believe your right.  He wanted you to find him, but not to hurt you.  He wanted it to be you because you were so close.  I know to you that doesn't make any sense at all.  The only way I can explain it is when I would get suicidal I would set and think of ways to die that my husband would be the one to find me and not my kids.  It wasn't that I wanted to hurt my husband, I just didn't want my kids to find me.  Suicidal people aren't thinking rationally.  In his mind you finding him may of been his way of letting you know how much he care and loved you as sick as that may sound. 

Comment by Mollie Susan Johnson on October 23, 2013 at 3:29pm

The 3rd yr mark coming up on Nov 7th since my brother completed suicide. He knew I was coming but did it anyway. I've been in counseling since then trying to understand why he did it knowing I was coming. I blamed myself for so long because I thought I should have known! There are days I still go thru the blame game..gets me nowhere only back to the pain of losing him. I finally accepted the fact that he was sick..depressed..had been hurting physically for yrs with hip pain..started seeing a counselor that put him on antidepresents..I feel that was a final step right into suicide..with a lawnmower in his bedroom..cranked..carbon monoxide..and I found him..dead in his bed..freshly shaven..hair combed..he looked like he was just asleep. I felt for any warm places on his body..I wanted to try to revive him but I realized..he was gone and there was nothing I could do for him. These thoughts and flashbacks haunt me everyday and night in some way. Knowing that he was sick and in that very dark place helps me most of the time but other times I still am trying to grasp why. It is so fresh even tho it's almost been 3 years..I can't explain my pain..and what this has done to our family..I think he wanted me to find him..why I don't know..we were very close..but I feel I could handle his death a bit easier if I had not found him. I know God keeps His promises. My brother was sick..he is with the Lord now..a new life for him. Tracy..you are loved and are doing a great work here.

Comment by Lisa Schenke on October 23, 2013 at 3:25pm

Caryn, I am also so sorry to hear your situation and how you blame your mother. When my 18-yr-old son died, his ex-girlfriend was there, met him at the railroad tracks but did not believe he would go thru with it. I too have to live with "why didn't she call 911? call one of my other kids, ..."  I have a lot of faith and I have come to accept that if Tim had not died that night, it would have been some other night. Of course I wish the girl had stopped him but I don't believe the ultimate outcome would be different. That works for me. We all have to find ways to accept the horrific tragedies. I wish you peace. Lisa

 

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