suicide's survivors

talk to other survivors of loved ones that took their life and learn how to cope with everyday life, how to carry on,try to understand and know why you feel the way you do.

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Latest Conversations: Jan 23

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Comment by LA-Greg on June 6, 2014 at 2:02am

you are not alone.
there are many here who know your suffering and do care.
we care for each other in our empathy.
maybe your husband loved you as best he could, but that does not mean he did not have terrible problems all his own.
love makes you empathize, and it can be awfully hard sometimes to know where they end and you begin, especially with such a long standing bond between you.
it is normal to feel messed up from this, especially where you had such a bond.
and, remember, you still are feeling that bond, so you will be very confused sometimes, taking on his pain, even taking responsibility for it, too.
it is hard not to. give yourself a break for your suffering. try to let yourself enjoy any little thing, even a breath of fresh air after crying, because you need that as you move along, day to day, even hour to hour.
as i say, many of us know this horrible pain you are going through and all the crazy mixed emotions, so do yourself a favor and use this group. reach out to people here, trusting there are many who will hear you and listen to you and do their best to be there for you.
find a counselor or a grief group for support. at times like this all of us need someone to lean on at times.
you are not alone. take care.


Comment by Ellen Sheehan on June 5, 2014 at 9:31am

My husband commited suicide on May 16th.He hung himself in the house after i went to bed,i woke up and still do not know why maybe i heard a noise but came downstairs to find him hanging from the bannisters,i couldnt lift him back up to support him I rang for an ambulance and the operator told me cut him down and start CPR which is what i did.

Within no time the paramedics were there and they took over he had had a heart attack so they shocked him and gave him adrenaline.

He was taken to A and E where he was worked on then transferred to ICU he was on life support for 9 days but died on the 25th May 2014.

I still cant come to terms with what he has done to me even though people are telling me it was himself he was thinking about at the time.

The feelings i have are so mixed towards him anger guilt (that i didnt see this coming) and pain that he was obviously hurting so much and i never realised.He hid it too good.

The day this happened had been a lovely normal day talking about our upcoming holiday which was to be next week walking our dogs nothing seemed out of the ordinary.

He had been to the pub that night and all his friends said he was no different.

I live in a small town and people are already avoiding me i really dont know how im going to cope without him for 19 years it has always been me and him.

I now feel so alone as well as doubting that he could have loved me to let me go through this terrible pain.

Comment by Carol Mortarotti Mason on May 27, 2014 at 12:53pm

I am glad to have found this site because as several of you have mentioned people don't understand the pain and process of healing when a loved one has commit suicide.

My ex-husband whom I was still very close to commit suicide on Sept 15, 2011, at the young age of 46.  We have a son who just turned 24 and needless to say our lives are still not the same.  My ex became an alcoholic and was not accepting of our son being gay.  It is beyond sad and doesn't seem to get easier.  We miss him dearly.

Thank you for listening and I am thankful to be a part of this community.

Comment by Caryn Hersh on May 27, 2014 at 9:08am

I have become a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist it really is amazing.


Comment by LA-Greg on May 23, 2014 at 8:25pm
dawn, yes, it is good to have a connection to others who you can know without a doubt understand what youre going through. the pain is so bad sometimes, but the pain is a price we pay for having a heart that is open.

and lori, dont shut your heart down or let feelings of shame or fear keep you hidden away in the dark. part of the reason they did what they did was because they hid away, could not share their suffering with at least someone. feel free to share your feelings here at least. you will find some people open and caring. though there are often no answers, there are others who understand and would never judge you in your suffering.
Comment by Dawn Taylor on May 23, 2014 at 3:58pm

My brother David committed suicide in high school and it was the most mortifying thing that has ever happened to me or my family. Im glad I found this site bc no one understands how awful suicide of a sibling really is

Comment by Lori laderas on May 18, 2014 at 10:44am
Im going through the same
But I'm not able to talk about it...hurts so much
I stayed inside my house and don't want to b bother even my family and friends..I'm still not ready to face the world
Comment by Janet Garrett Nenzel on May 9, 2014 at 5:06pm

Cathy, Mom of two sons ~ you could have done nothing nor could I when Garrett took his life 3/3/13.  Have you come across the Grief Recovery Handbook (a GREAT read/workbook) GriefShare a Christian 13 week meeting, do you belong to a local suicide survivor group (check with mental health organizations or funeral homes.)  All of these are just tools on the road to recovery and learning to live our new lives.  Feel free to message me or friend me on facebook Janet G Nenzel.  <3

Comment by germaine on May 9, 2014 at 1:23pm

why do they do it they  leave so  much un answer quston  my best friiend die  he kill self  i ask my slef  that ever day it dose not get better people say  it dose but it dosent   iam geting to a point were ican move on   i still have hard days

Comment by cathy on May 9, 2014 at 11:38am

I have lost 2 of my sons to suicide , still having a very hard time with this . Thinking how could I have prevented this happening. What did I do wrong as a mother, why didnt I see this coming.


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