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suicide's survivors

talk to other survivors of loved ones that took their life and learn how to cope with everyday life, how to carry on,try to understand and know why you feel the way you do.

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Latest Conversations: Jan 23

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Comment by SUE on January 10, 2010 at 1:02am
Carla,
Im sorry. Just do only as much as you can handle right now. Keep reading and posting. You will survive this immense pain but it will take time. Support groups are another good source for comfort.
Sue
Comment by Carla on January 9, 2010 at 3:23pm
At 3:16pm on January 9th, 2010, Carla said…
I could post a picture of Michael today. He was 28. Through a series of incredible events, his father sent hime with me to Switzerland and Italy for two seeks in October. He is smiling here. The pain of remembering is too much right now, but I hope someday I will feel how miraculous our time together was. Today is three weeks since his funeral. How do we get through
Comment by DEL ROGERS on January 7, 2010 at 11:17am
HI TO ALL- THIS IS DEL - I JUST READ THE LATEST COMMENTS & I CAN RELATE TO EVERYONE OF THEM - FOR LOSING A SON/CHILD TO SUICIDE ,OR MATE,THIS IS THE MOST HORRIFYING THING I HAVE EVER BEEN THRU- WE ARE ALL HURTING SO BAD- YET WE CANNOT HELP EACH OTHER . EVERY FEELING WE ARE EXPERIENCING IS NORMAL,SHOCK, NUMBNESS, CAN'T THINK,ANGER,FULL OF QUESTIONS W/ NO ANSWERS,DON'T WANT TO BE ALONE, CAN'T BREATHE WELL, CAN'T EAT , CAN'T SLEEP , CRY EVERY DAY W/TEARS POURING- QUESTIONING HOW CUD OUR SON DARE LEAVE US- HIS MOM & DAD & HIS 3 LITTLE BOYS BEHIND- PLUS HIS BROS. & A SISTER & LOTS OF OTHERS THAT LOVES HIM TO GO THRU THIS WORSE THAN A NITEMARE THAT WON'T GO AWAY .WE CAN ONLY GO ON MECHANICALLY- ONE MIN, ONE HOUR & ONE DAY AT A TIME.BUT ALL OF YOU PLEASE REMEMBER TO PRAY FOR ALL OF THE GRIEVING CHILDREN TOO & US THAT ARE GOING THRU THIS LOSS.EACH NEW DAY BRINGS IT ON ALL OVER AGAIN.IT'S OK TO CRY - WE NEED ANY RELEASE WE CAN GET !! I PRAY GOD WILL FILL OUR SORROWFUL HEARTS WITH PEACE THAT ONLY HE CAN GIVE TO US . I GO TO BED EVERY NITE WONDERING IF HE MAY COME TO ME IN A DREAM OR A VISION .THERE'S SOOO MUCH WE DON'T UNDERSTAND !!
Comment by SUE on January 5, 2010 at 1:25am
Monique,
I really like that name, anyway I think you are surviving the only way we can and thats one day, one breath at a time. Im sorry for your loss of him, and your childrens loss. Eventually the whys wont matter as much any more and after the anger and shock subsides I hope you find some measure of peace. I second what Catherine said. Please look for my post Suicide Survivors I hope this helps, it may help, I hope it does. Im sorry you have reason to be here but am glad you found us. We understand we really do and sometimes just knowing you are not alone helps.
Sincerely Sue
Comment by SUE on January 5, 2010 at 1:17am
Janae,
I am so sorry. I can only imagine what finding him is like , my heart goes out to you and your children. Im sure you know it will take alot of support and time, but I do hope your last image of your husband softens and replaced by better ones. Please do be gentle with yourself and lots of ((hugs)) to your young ones. Keep talking, it really does help.
Sue
Comment by Catherine Johnston on January 4, 2010 at 9:05pm
Dearest Janae,

You and your children are in my prayers. I am so very sorry for your loss. I will pray especially for your young son-how devastating for him to find his father that way.
Seek help for all of you and always ask for help when you need it.

Always, Catherine
Comment by Catherine Johnston on January 4, 2010 at 9:01pm
Dear Monique,
I am sorry for your loss. I can't imagine the emotional conflicts you've had in the past 11 months. All I can offer you is the advice I have been offered...allow yourself to grieve. Allow yourself the anger and sadness and then let it pass. Never will you, or I, know why our loved ones chose death over life. What I do know is that the depression and anquish they were hiding must have been tremendous. Mark, like my nephew Christopher, surely loved his children very much. Trust that Mark's decision was not taken lightly. Mark has left you in body only...he is here with you and your children. Yell at him, tell him about your anger (when the children can't hear you) and then listen, you may "hear" his response.
I wish you will as this terrible anniversary approaches. Please take care of yourself.

Catherine
Comment by Monique on January 4, 2010 at 12:21pm
My husband Mark committed suicide Feb 8th 2009, he left behind 4 children, I'm at a lose and just try and take it day by day. It seems as the months go by the harder it gets for me to understand, I'm so unhappy and really angry that he chose death over me and his children. It's almost been a year and to begin life again is a terrifying thought...
Comment by Janae Shreve on January 4, 2010 at 9:46am
My husband committed suicide on Christmas Day 1 week after his 45th birthday. Unfortunately my 13 yr old son was the one to find him. He had shot himself in our bathroom. That image will be forever etched in our minds. He and his son were very close. I can't believe he did this to his children. We also have a special needs daughter who is 16 and 3 older boys. We are holding it together right now, but I know we are going to fall apart at services this week.My heart goes out to all survivors of suicide, especially the children.
Comment by Carol on January 1, 2010 at 5:41pm
My father completed suicide 1/2/08 after he killed my mother I don't know how I would feel about him if he hadn't killed my mother first but now I hate him and miss her very much. If he was going to do it thats one thing but he took her from me and that is all I think about when I think about him. I am angry and feel I have every right to be. People tell me to forgive him because he must have been sick to do that. But I can only think about him taking away my mother and then taking himself from me and my kids.
 

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