suicide's survivors

talk to other survivors of loved ones that took their life and learn how to cope with everyday life, how to carry on,try to understand and know why you feel the way you do.

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Latest Conversations: Oct 16, 2021

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Comment by Debi on November 14, 2009 at 11:17pm

Its hard reading everyones stories.I dealt with a suicidal mother while I was growing up.My sister inlaw lost her husband to suicide ,then their son.Her second husband died from a heart attack and her daughter accidently died from an overdose , but it was listed as a suicide.This was all in about 5 years.I buried my first husband and then 6 months later had to bury my second.I hope everyone can find comfort in Gods love , even if it feels so far away ...
Comment by carol fox on November 9, 2009 at 1:04am
my son died on oct 12, 2009 i dont know for sure how he died, he was on drugs ,but was fighting it, but in my heart i think the drugs won he was 32,6mo,an 4 days , he was by himself when he died,sometimes i dont think i can bear it, that he should have called me,he had before an say mom im not feeling so good care to stay on the phone an talk to me, we would talk fo a long time an he would get sleepie than, he knew he could always call me day or night, i just cant understand why he dident this time, he had been dead twelve hours when he was found,
Comment by SUE on November 8, 2009 at 11:29pm
I am so so sorry for your loss. Losses !! I am a mom but have not lost any children to suicide. For 1 family to endure the loss of more than one member to suicide is alarming to say the least. When my brother died, my doctor was a little concerned, and put me on ant-depressants. At the time I was inconsolable. Please get some professional help, or see your doctor, you have a valid point being afraid, but with love and support you can survive this. Please be gentle with helps to talk with others who understand. If you would like another support group for suicide survivors, I know of one. This site does not have as many members as the other one. Sherre you really are not alone with this, its an awful shame you have to be here,glad you found it tho. I cant imagine losing 2 to suicide, I lost 1 brother(suicide) and a step-mom(friend) to murder.
Comment by sherre Yager on November 8, 2009 at 9:55pm
help im looking for moms for help my son justin 27 years old shot himself march 31 one day after the 30 yr aniversary of my mothers suicide im afraid for myself too
living in a void
Comment by SUE on November 4, 2009 at 9:07pm
I left a comment but I guess I did it under your name cause I dont see it here. I hope it helps a little to know you are not alone
Comment by Linda Mills on November 3, 2009 at 10:57pm
My sister died of cancer 4 years ago. Her husband died 2 days after from a heart attack. Now, on Sept. 27th, 2009, my darling niece shot herself in the head, killing herself. If that wasn't all bad enough, we found out that she was 5 1/2 months pregnant. My grief is so that I don't know how much more of this I can take. My sister was only 49 when she died, my niece only 27.
Comment by Chelle on October 31, 2009 at 5:55pm
i'am very sorry for your losses! My grandfather committed suicide, but i have no idea what pain you all feel, because i never even met him... all i can say is that you may find comfort in knowing Jehovah remembers each and every one of them, and he will bring them back :-) and they won't be suffering they'll be in peace. ( Revelation 21:4) "God will wipe every tear from their eyes, and death will be no more, nor will mourning nor outcry nor pain be anymore. The former things have passed away." (Pslams 37:10,11) " The meek ones themselves will possess the earth. and they will indeed find exquisite delight in their abundance of peace."
Comment by At a loss on October 30, 2009 at 2:35pm

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. This site has been a comfort for me and I hope it will for you too. Noone will judge what you say and please do say it and let it out! Keeping it inside is the worst thing that you can do. Come back here every day if you want and just tell everyone how you feel. It is very freeing to be able to say what you truly feel. All of us on this site have been totally uprooted and destroyed by someone committing suicide. Please know that people do care and you have an outlet for your pain. Share with us and we will be here for you. You were brave enough to post here, so please know that your words are being heard. I have come to find out that noone can be blamed when it happens. Your son must have been hiding his pain from you. Please do not blame yourself.
Comment by TXMOM on October 30, 2009 at 6:56am
It has been 1 month and 7 days since my 16 year old son took his own life. It still feels like yesterday, and there are days that I just don't want to open my eyes to another day of feeling lost and so hurt. I live every day asking the same question "WHY" and I know I won't get the answers I'm looking for and would that even give me some peace, I don't know, but what I do know is that I feel as if he took my heart with him when he left. There are days that I am so mad at him, and there are days when I riddle myself with grief and guilt, why didn't I know he felt this way. For GOD's sake I was his mother shouldn't I have been able to see that he was hurting! Every day is a struggle and I can cope when I get distracted but as soon as I have a moment of quiet it all hits me and the thoughts come back and the questions and the hurt. No mother should ever have to bury her children much less find them when they have taken their own lives. Suicide is the most hurtful thing, because you are left with so many questions and such feelings of guilt. I know I loved my son and I thought we had such a good relationship where he would tell me about any problems he had, he was such a strong willed person that I could have bet my life that he would never commit such an act. I try to forgive him because I love him so much and his reasoning (a girl) was not something he thought out and just did it. He has left such a hole in our family that it will never be healed we can only move forward and accept. Every day is a new day but it's also a new day without my baby boy.
Comment by At a loss on October 29, 2009 at 10:25pm
Time does not heal all wounds and my heart goes out to you. People just don't understand how your entire world goes away when a loved one dies. You ask yourself "why?" And "what could I have done to help this person?" But there are no answers. Suicide is cold and cruel. A sudden death in a wreck or health issue is a death that startles you but you know that the person who died wanted to live.

Suicidal people are just unpredictable. I think that a suicide is the worst possible death for the family, because no gets a last goodbye and even if they did, would the suicidal person even hear it? Suicide is so very selfish. I have seen the devastation first hand and it is so hard on the family that has to go on living and missing this person. I wonder if the suicidal one even knows how much they hurt the ones they leave behind?

Your grief is evident in your post. Being able to talk about it is very freeing. Of course the suicides will always be a part of your life. It hurts so much and there are so many unanswered questions. Having lost my best friend to cancer, I can understand how you still want to just pick up the phone and talk to your son or to look around when someone sounds a lot like he did. You are not alone. We have all experienced this. Grief does funny things to the mind.

You were so kind to respond to my posting and I thank you for that. Having survived two suicides in your family, I think it was extremely brave of you to even look at this site. You say in your post that you are hiding your feelings from everyone. Well, we are all hear to listen. You may not be able to tell your family exactly how you feel, but PJ, you can tell us anything. It is anonymous and no one will judge you. I am always surprised by the kindness of total strangers who care enough to respond to these posts. You are not weak. You are strong! You found us and reached out to us. We will listen. Tell us.

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