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suicide's survivors

talk to other survivors of loved ones that took their life and learn how to cope with everyday life, how to carry on,try to understand and know why you feel the way you do.

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Comment by Margo powell on June 8, 2012 at 9:12pm
Bethany, Please don't think that if you take your life that you will instantly be with your husband. We don't have the power to be certain that would be the result. You don't want to make a choice that creates more pain you may regret for all of eternity. Betty Eadie has written books regarding the afterlife. She writes of the ripple effect our choices have. Choosing to take your life may be the one decision that limits all future growth for you in the spirit realm. God is merciful. Our life is a gift and the trials we experience are to make us stronger. The rewards come after this life when we endure it well.
Please try to get out of that dark space your in. Despair causes unhealthy thinking and poor choices. Focus on your children and how much they need you, now and throughout their lives. I pray for everyone on this site who suffers due to their losses. God Bless You!
Comment by Joyce M Rubacky on June 8, 2012 at 2:33pm

Bethany,

With all my heart, I am so sorry for what has happened to your family.  The following is strictly how I feel. I wish I could say "don't worry, it gets better in no time". That is just not true.  As far as I'm concerned, 10 weeks is yesterday. If you are not still in shock, you probably were for the first 6 weeks! I know it's so very hard, they have left us by their own choice. What were they thinking....certainly not about those who love them! I have come to realize that my brother, David, was thinking about those who love him. Somewhere in his mind he determined his family would be so much better off without him around. That feeling has to be stronger than anything we can possibly imagine.....it's love multiplied by an infinite number! They loved us to the point where they thought this is the greatest sacrifice they could possibly make.                         I wish you were not going through this. You will have so many ups and downs. But, believe me, one of these days when you least expect it you will be able to express the love  you have for your husband without the heartache you feel now.  As time goes on, I hope you will continue to read the posts on this site. These are  wonderful people, who have helped me in so many ways, just by reading what they are going through themselves.

Comment by Bethany King on June 8, 2012 at 3:22am

Its been 10 weeks today since my husband died, I dont know how much more of this pain i can take, how could he have done this to us. Every day i try and hold on for the kids but its getting harder as time goes by not easier like people say. Then there is the stupid dreams that make me think it was all a bad dream that my husband is still here and im so happy i cuddle him and dont want to let him go but then i wake up and realise no that was just a dream. its like that bloody movie ground hog day where you just keep living the same day over and over, no matter what i do to try and break the cycle im still stuck in this dark, cold horrible place, this lonely place and i wonder whats the point when i can go and be with my beautiful husband. He doesnt have this pain any more i do, my worst fear was always finding that one person that i loved with my every being and then losing them like this, thats why i never allowed my self to love anyone untill i met my husband, even though id had relationships before him i never knew what it was like to love someone besides my daughters but then i did and now my worst fear has come true, life can be so cruel. I want you back and if i cant i want to come be with you. I want to scream all the time. i cant stop crying. how could you let me love you and then do this

Comment by Paula Weidemann on May 31, 2012 at 12:24pm

Dear Family & Friends,
I was sorry to hear about the death of your beloved one. In case anyone is having difficulty dealing with their death, here is a nice online article that also comes as a free brochure which gives comfort and hope to see our dead loved ones again. This excellent free brochure, titled, "When Someone You Love Dies", has coping skills that help a person explain death to children, and a tip chart to help grieving ones, with supportive tips to help, for example, not to immediately throw out all of your loved ones possessions even though it may be a person’s spur of the moment impulse due to emotional anguish. It also covers how men may grieve by getting angry and what NOT to say to someone who is grieving etc. Feel free to request one or more of these brochures from the website! Take Care,
Sincerely, Paula Weidemann / Full time volunteer

http://www.watchtower.org/e/we/article_00.htm

Comment by Carin~ Cody's Mom on May 28, 2012 at 9:14pm

I agree. There have been 4 teens pass since Cody in our area who either knew Cody or friends of Cody. They all died in accidents outside there home. All the same age of Cody. I Am so sorry for the loss of your friends grandson.

Comment by Carla on May 28, 2012 at 9:06pm

Carin - I'm glad you've made it through. And I'm glad people were respectful - I think they are really, but most of the time they just don't know what to do. All these holidays are so hard - so much brought back and remembered. We just got word that a woman we know just lost her grandson (only) - her daugther and son-in-laws only child in Afganistan. He was to be married July. So much heartache sometimes it is overwhelming to me.

Comment by Carin~ Cody's Mom on May 28, 2012 at 8:54pm

I made it through the weekend.  I had a HUGE panic attack Friday night and wanted my husband to call everyone and cancel our BBQ everyone seemed to be very respectful of his things and the place his pasted. No one even went near his room they seem to just tune it out. Witch helped me relax. Everyone seemed to have a good time.   My husband and I did get sad at one point when we looked around and noticed him missing.

Comment by Jerica Guerra on May 26, 2012 at 11:32am
Thank you theresa n carla! It was hard yesterday. I had family support n my back bone which is my wife Diana :-) I feel a lil better today. Actually going to my lil sister's bbq to celebrate in his honor. I know he would like that! :-) to everyone have a bless day......
Comment by Theresa Sweaney on May 26, 2012 at 1:42am

Carla and Carin, me too--I had put out a bar of soap that had belonged to my son Charles in the shower for use, and when it was down to half a bar left, I became so upset and panicky and had to remove it from the shower and pack it away.  Could not handle the idea of it being used up.

Comment by Theresa Sweaney on May 26, 2012 at 1:37am

Jerica, my thoughts and prayers are with you girl.  {{hugs}}

 

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