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suicide's survivors

talk to other survivors of loved ones that took their life and learn how to cope with everyday life, how to carry on,try to understand and know why you feel the way you do.

Members: 633
Latest Conversations: Apr 24

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Comment by Carin~ Cody's Mom on May 21, 2012 at 8:05pm

I have faith. I pray all day every day.  Today is 5 months since my son Cody made his decision to take his own life.  My faith has brought me through the last 5 months. I have gone through what seems like a million phases of grief.  4 other teens in this area same age as Cody have passed since his passing 5 months ago. The media have all interviewed the parents of these teens.  You see these teens have passed in a shocking tragic way. ACCIDENTS their children passed in tragic accidents. My child died of his own free will. Embarrassing? Shameful? My child had a mental illness that took over his thoughts and his mind. He was sick. And my Childs death is swiped under a rug to never be spoken of. I come home and visit the place where my son died and relive the decision he made over and over every day.

Suicide is the 3rd leading cause of death in the US ages 15-27. Last year 66000 people died from suicide in the US.  The loss of child due to suicide brings your world down around you. Questions, blame, regrets, Great Sorrow and tremendous pain. WHY? Please Just WHY? What about the First person to find this child of Suicide just like I did. PTSD! Like you would not believe! I live for the day I can see my son in my head how he was alive then the moment I walked in his room and found him and saw what I saw. I don’t wish for anyone to see what I saw at first I just wished it wasn’t me.  I have nothing to compare my son’s death with but I sometimes wonder if I or my surviving family would be grieving differently if he died of a “Tragic Accident”

Comment by Jacqueline Rowles on May 17, 2012 at 8:11pm

My name  is Jacqueline Rowles and I am 67 andlost mywonderful son CHuck to suicide on Dec.22,2010.  Haven'tbeen on here in a long while. This message  is to Marsha Mann. Please email me your phone number and I will call you and we will get you thru this. my email  is wackyjackie89@comcast.net.BLessings

Comment by Jerica Guerra on May 16, 2012 at 7:24pm

I havent been here for a while, but i see the posting once in a while. My heart goes out to everyone here. I lost my little brother to suicide as well, he shot himself on 5/25/11 and his girlfriend found him. Soon it will mark his 1 year of his death. I know its gonna be very hard for me as well as my other siblings. We all chose to go to the cementary on May 25 to celebrate his life, cuz i know thats wat he would want us to do. Also we buried him on May 31, which falls on my Birthday and i know that is gonna be a bitter sweet day for me. I dont know weather to go to work or just take the day off. But if i do that i will be depressed and wouldnt want to celebrate my birthday. :( But i guess i will find out that day once i wake up and how im feeling. I too miss my brother dearly and love him. Wishing many blessing to everyone here....

Comment by Joyce M Rubacky on May 16, 2012 at 1:29pm

I am watching my nephew (online) graduate from the Coast Guard Academy. My brother, his father, was always so proud of him. The fact that he took his life, knowing this day was coming, is something I will never understand.

Comment by Mollie Susan Johnson on May 16, 2012 at 9:44am

I haven't posted in quite a while but I've been trying to keep up with the postings here. My heart goes out to all of us here and to those that have not found this site. I found my youngest brother on Monday Nov 7, 2011 tho I feel he took his life about 24 hrs earlier. I was alone, it was very dark due to him having no power in his house, and all I had was the light from my cell phone. I am being treated for post traumatic stress. I was put on Zoloft but took myself off because I didn't like the way it made me feel so I go and talk to therapist every week. Last week marked the 6 months of his suicide and I have really had a hard time as all of you know how it can be. Of all things, on the very date last week, my brother in law took his own life. I received the news of his death on my cell phone via a txt message!! I cannot even put into words how all of this has affected me. I will say that the stress has really taken a toll on my physical self as well. I read somewhere on here yesterday about taking your vitamins and taking care of yourself..I really encourage all of us to do that. I am down to 92 lbs , I lost my appetite, I have basically been starving myself. After seeing the Dr yesterday I decided I had to really take charge of my health..physically and mentally..now today..I'm back to a "so what" feeling. One day at a time ..and oh how long the days are. And then there are the nights when sleep just will not come or the dreams wake me up. and I'm so tired of hearing "are you ok?" "whats wrong" "you are so skinny" "you need to eat" and on and on..but this site is much like a santuary to me. Just know my heart is with all of you. 

Comment by Donna Messerly on May 16, 2012 at 7:48am

I'm so sorry for your little girl. Life is just not easy. I'm trying not to take it too personally (the fact that she despises me). The truth is, I wish I were the one in the hospital with an opportunity to visit with a psychiatrist every day and permission to just pound out my grief.

Comment by Bethany King on May 16, 2012 at 1:53am

To Donna Messerly.

I understand how you feel, my husband took his life 7 weeks ago and my 15 year old daughter and i found him. my daughter was diagnosed with depression 2 years ago after self harming and i really thought that seeing the devastation it leaves behind would be enough to make her feel diffrent but i was wrong and she couldnt cope with losing her wonderful step dad and wanted to go with him, so i had to sign her in to the hospital that caters for children at risk of suicide, that was one week after losing my husband. she hated me for doing it and it ripped my heart out to have to do it but i had already lost so much and i couldnt handle losing her to. Even though it hurts us, sometimes its the best thing we can do. shes home now. turns out the depression medication they gave her 8 months ago was causing her to have suicidal thoughts. shes on no medication and apart from greiving for her dad shes my little girl again. my husband and i fought for months to get her reevaluated and medication changed its just a shame it had to take my husband taking his own life for anyone to listen. i wish my husband could see that we have our girl back

Comment by Donna Messerly on May 16, 2012 at 1:33am

Yesterday I committed my mom to a short-term mental health facility. I believe she is having a psychotic breakdown. Delusions and hallucinations have her poor mind so confused. After loosing my brother to suicide, her grandson to a car accident, my father to pancreatic cancer, and my sister to diabetes in such a short period of time, I think it is finally taking a toll on her. I wonder sometimes if this ever ends. she hates me for taking her there. Seems like I just can't win.

Comment by Misty Yeats on May 15, 2012 at 9:17pm

My love died from an overdose of heroin 12/23/11  He said that "This Christmas is going to be the best for us!" Really?? I don't understand why he did this? Does he know what I'm going through now? Can he see me? I miss him so much! Help... It was not intentional but he did it to himself. Does that make it a suicide? Does it matter? Either way he's gone... and I hate that I have to go on without him...

 

Comment by Daphne vaughn (Anthony's Mom ) on May 12, 2012 at 12:58pm

Theresa, your so very right about Mothers Day and Fathers Day being difficult holidays .wishing you all peace on this Mothers Day .hugs to all Daphne

 

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