Guilty question

I keep having this internal battle. I know this is all so new not having Bobby here anymore, but I'm driving myself nuts with all this. We had been trying for a baby all 6 years of our marriage. Bobby has been gone for 5 months. He passed on a Friday and that Monday we were set to do IVF. Instead of being in a hospital starting our family I was standing over my husband. This is where the guilty question comes in. Is it wrong that I want to move forward with it. It would not be " our family" ,but I feel like I need to finish this for us. I know he wants me happy and a baby would make me happy. The problem is that I have no more of "him" . I looked into different options. I don't know. I know my life is a mess and now is not the time, but am I crazy? Is that selfish? We picked names, he bought clothes, we had plans.....

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Permalink Reply by janeo on July 30, 2013 at 8:35pm

Gia, I'm so sorry for you loss. When I was first grieving everyone told me not to make important decisions for the first year. Nobody can tell you the right answer for that whether to or not too. I would talk to a counsler first. Our minds are not thinking clearly. I will pray that you find inner peace. And please keep posting your feelings were here to help the best way can. It' 31/2 years since I lost my Richie. So I can feel your pain.

Permalink Reply by Gia Stevens on July 30, 2013 at 9:25pm

Thank you. I know now is not the time. A friend tol me the same thing. I appreciate that I can say these things out loud and not be judged. There is so much going on in my head that it helps to get it out. I feel like I've said more on this site today than I have in the 5 months. I'm so happy that I found this site. You have all been so nice. I'm sorry for your loss as well. You all will be in my prayers tonight

Permalink Reply by janeo on July 30, 2013 at 9:42pm

Gia, if you read all the post were family. We help each other like you would help us. We will never judge cause were all in the same boat. Do hang on and we won't fall off. We care to much ok.

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