I keep having this internal battle. I know this is all so new not having Bobby here anymore, but I'm driving myself nuts with all this. We had been trying for a baby all 6 years of our marriage. Bobby has been gone for 5 months. He passed on a Friday and that Monday we were set to do IVF. Instead of being in a hospital starting our family I was standing over my husband. This is where the guilty question comes in. Is it wrong that I want to move forward with it. It would not be " our family" ,but I feel like I need to finish this for us. I know he wants me happy and a baby would make me happy. The problem is that I have no more of "him" . I looked into different options. I don't know. I know my life is a mess and now is not the time, but am I crazy? Is that selfish? We picked names, he bought clothes, we had plans.....