i am still in the throes of devastation and confusion from losing my husband almost two months ago...i am finding that i am at a loss over cremating him and not having a physical place to visit him as his ashes were spread...please help me..i feel disconnected in so many ways and i am in a daze..i have set up pictures, candles, notes, little pieces of him  but its not giving me the emotional tie to him the way i am searching for..any suggestions on how to bridge this gap???

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Michelle, I'm sorry for you loss. I lost my husband 4 weeks ago. My husband is at our church cemetery but I'm feeling all the emotions you have described. I'm hoping this just a period of grieving.
You have came to a good place. For what I have read so far, someone will be able to help you bridge that gap.
Thank u both...i hope thid is a good place to find comfort ive already died inside and our5 year wedding anniversary is coming March 5th. I find all i can do is listen to music...its always been my life but has brouggr me a little solace. I sleep w his pictures and shirt but slowly his voice is fading and i need it to stay. When does it get better???? I scream sometimes bexause i dont know what else to do...i am nuttin up and iy scares me...every day i have no idea how i even made it god is with me but i dont undersrand this..ive necver lost anyone before. I am forever changed and have no idea who i am anymore.i you guys are still here so i guess grief cant kill u but its doing a fine job convincing me it can..god bless u both KLU
Michelle,
I lost my husband on his 54th birthday Dec 8th, 2009. I want you to feel at rest and to know having a physical place to see him which I go every Saturday dosent make the pain lesson. I bring a chair and sit there and talk to him and tell him everything that went on during the week and i'm angry he left me and i miss him. It helps for a little but the pain comes back. So having a physical place is not the answer talking to him where ever you want the stars at night is great place cause i always think one of thoughs stars is him. In the car while i'm sitting in the driveway of my house cause i don't want to drive when doing so. So i want you know that helps more than a place where you could go.

Hi Michelle,

I feel your pain, i lost my husband 4 weeks ago and am feeling everything you have just discribed and more, my husband to was cremated. its a nightmare i just want to wake up from. im sick of people telling me they know how i feel when they are going home to their partners. ive never been a jealous person but i get so angry and upset when i see other couples together. its not their fault and they have a right to be happy but i cant help but get those pangs of pain when i see them. i to have been wondering on how to bridge the gap. my husbands ashes will be scattered at the beach, i would like to keep them but his family have organised everything and have the ashes.once they have been scattered the waves will take him away

I not sure if this the right anwser or not but by your house at night pick one star and talk to that star every night and feel that star is your husband listening to you. Maybe you could feel some peace. I know it works for me even though I go to see him every week that star is a always helping when I need it. Cyber hugs for you.

Hi Bethany -

 

I cremated my husband as was his wishes. He wanted his ashes scattered in the Atlantic, Pacific and Gulf of Mexico. I have not been ready to do that yet. . .The reason I wanted to comment, was that I had the funeral home put some of the ashes in a small keepsake urn that I had his name engraved on.   If your husband's family, is OK with giving you some of the ashes, perhaps you can do the same. It is comforting to have this piece of him at home to talk to and hold close.  My thoughts are with you...
 
Bethany King said:

Hi Michelle,

I feel your pain, i lost my husband 4 weeks ago and am feeling everything you have just discribed and more, my husband to was cremated. its a nightmare i just want to wake up from. im sick of people telling me they know how i feel when they are going home to their partners. ive never been a jealous person but i get so angry and upset when i see other couples together. its not their fault and they have a right to be happy but i cant help but get those pangs of pain when i see them. i to have been wondering on how to bridge the gap. my husbands ashes will be scattered at the beach, i would like to keep them but his family have organised everything and have the ashes.once they have been scattered the waves will take him away

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