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Comment by stacey on October 15, 2012 at 11:43am

I'm 27 yrs old i just lost my husband a week ago age 29 to what they tell me could be a heart attack but i don't have any definite answers yet of what happened. We have a 16 month old son, only married 18 months were together almost 8 yrs. we had no idea anything else was wrong i have so many things and a lot of guilt running through my head i saw something not quite right when i left for work but i still went and i found him face down on the floor when i got home from work. how do i get through this and stay strong for my son he needs me how do i cope with being a single parent??   

Comment by DANIELLE ARMENTA on March 15, 2012 at 4:51pm

I am 38 yrs old I lost my husband 2yrs ago to diabetes He was only 38yrs old I still don't know how to deal with his death. I cry everyday I stayed with him while he was sick in the hospital I stayed with him until he took his last breathe of air. And I don't know if that is why i can't deal with his death and move on every time i think about him him that last day is the only image i see and it makes me cry we have 7 children between us I know his mother misses him so bad we used to all be together all the time  I wish there was a way  for me to at least try to deal with this because i don't think i can move on or even move on with my own life i feel stuck and i never felt so alone as I feel now without him

Comment by Nicole Anastasio on February 21, 2012 at 7:10pm

I am 20...my fiance was 21. He died suddenly 15 days ago. I need help this isn't fair he was so young and had so many dreams and now everything is ruined. I feel like a shell I don't feel alive anymore.

Comment by B. Walker on February 18, 2012 at 5:21pm

My husband died Jan. 26 2012. He was 48 and we would have been married for 28 years this May. We have 2 children a son who is married and gave our 1st grand child on Nov. 30, 2012 and a daughter. I woke up to a loud noise and he was at the end of our bed. Our 21 year old daughter was home from college. She to heard it too and ran in. She made the call to 911 she also started CPR. We continued CPR until the 1st responder got her it took approx 15 mins. He lived for 5 days in the hospital. My kids and I didn't have a autopsy done because he was a organ and a tissue donor and didn't want to compromise that. We have not received a death certificate yet but was told he had a massive heart attack. I had been trying to keep it together for my 81 yr. old mom who had been living with me and my husband for almost 9 months and then she too went into cardiac arrest while our daughter, mom and I were in the car this past Sunday. We were going to visit my husbands burial site. We laid mother to rest on Wednesday. Now I'm not sure how I'm going get thru this.

Comment by Teri on February 8, 2012 at 5:30am

lost my husband at 31 years old.It has been almost 3 years and I don't know how to be a person again. I just feel as though I am waiting for my life to end so that we will be together. I am 36 years old. How do I come back from this ?

Comment by Jeannie mcquarrie on October 13, 2011 at 8:52pm

I lost my Peg to cancer on September 22,2011

 

Comment by Virginia on September 2, 2011 at 8:15am

i hope all of you have checked out breaved spouses the loss of a spouse or partner on legacy.com,created by steve cane. it's an awsome group. hugs to all

Comment by Michelle Murphy on April 23, 2011 at 3:49pm

I lost my husband on March 31st of this year @10PM after a lifelong battle of CF. I have been with him 11 yrs. We met when I was 15 and I knew he was mine the second I laid eyes on him. I have always known he was sick and we would never get to grow old together or even middle aged together, well I thought I did his death still hit me like I never knew. Perhaps it was just loosing him was just something you cannot prepare for or imagine I always shied away from those thoughts. Now they are all I have.

Comment by mary baker eatough on January 28, 2011 at 8:40pm

Kathryn,

 My name is Mary, my husband passed away suddenly from a blood clot due to an injury @ work on 12-18-09, we had just won custody of his then 7 yr old son on 12-15-09.  I have a 10yr old girl & a 9yr old boy from a previous relationship, but my husband had become their father. My step son was taken from me by my husbands family the day he died & they have prevented me & my children from seeing him since 8-10, it is so sad. 

I don't think anyone truely no how each one of us feel, our relationships & connections with our spouses is all so different, each in our own special way.  As for the fog, it lifts little by little, I feel just as sad today as I did the day he died. I think that if I would have found something to occupy my time sooner than now, I may have been able to face everyday a little easier, but at the end of the day, my hubby is still gone & my step son too, that will never change. 

I wish I had some great advice to give you, but I can tell you that all of the emotions that you have gone through, I went through as well.  I wouldn't classify it as normal, because no one should have to endure such pain.  I was in a fog for al long while, not knowing what to feel, say, or even think.  I stopped working, I couldn't wake up everyday & focus on anything other than my heartache.  I stopped talking, to everyone.  I would only go to the grocery store if I was in desperate need, & had my neighbor go for me.  I cried almost non-stop, until I had no more tears.  I ate very little, enough to survive, I slept alot, I don't know how I managed w/ my kids.  Then I made myself believe that he was at work, that he would be home, he worked on a tug boat 28 days gone & 14 home.  After about 2 months of waiting for him to come home, I realized he was dead, & went thru all the initial shock again.  Then I got mad, mad at everyone, even mad at my husband for not taking another breath, I know that is stupid, but I did.  I was mad at God for taking him, he was only 37 & had so many things to look forward to.  Then I felt like I could have prevented his death, thinking about all the little things that I could have done differently or should have noticed or shouldn't have said that may have changed something, & then I reminded myself everyday of everything that I could remember because I had a fear of forgetting. I started eating only certain foods, I ate like 4 things for 3 months because I was afraid that if I ate something else it would change what was supposed to happen...like I was trying to keep a schedule of life, I would only allow certain things to happen, it was crazy. Now, my husband and his death is the first thing I think about everyday & the last thing I think about every night. I am managing to get things done, sometimes, I am eating more of a variety of things, I can be a mother to my kids all the time but have moments when I can't do a thing, for anyone.  I cry myself to sleep everynight, I cry for no reason at all sometimes, but the days keep coming, some better than others.

Take one day at a time. You will see that others can pick up the pieces & go on with their life & some will act like nothing ever happened & it will hurt you deeper than you think it might...stay true to your self & your husband & your family, don't lose yourself anymore than what your husband took with him, accept that you will never be the same, your heart will never be whole until the day God calls you home. Put one foot in front of the other & look into your baby's eyes & know that he is there, with you and your child, & finish the things you started together, whatever they may be, because it will mean something to you, because he would want you to.

Sorry I wrote a book, I hope this helps you or at least lets you know that someone else is hurting with you, your not alone & never will be, your angel is with you, forever and always. I'm here if you ever need someone to listen to you.

Mary

Comment by Kathryn Jean Rippley on January 28, 2011 at 7:11pm

Hi. My husband died of metastatic melanoma on July 31, 2010, leaving me with a 4-yr-old little girl to rasie alone. I am just now starting to come out of the fog, and wanting to talk to people who have been through what I am going through. I am 42 and don't know anyone who has lost a spouse at my age. I am just so sad, angry, confused and none understands or can help.

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