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Comment by Kathryn Jean Rippley on January 28, 2011 at 7:11pm

Hi. My husband died of metastatic melanoma on July 31, 2010, leaving me with a 4-yr-old little girl to rasie alone. I am just now starting to come out of the fog, and wanting to talk to people who have been through what I am going through. I am 42 and don't know anyone who has lost a spouse at my age. I am just so sad, angry, confused and none understands or can help.

Comment by Bob on December 15, 2010 at 7:38pm

My partner of 14 years Died on Nov 15, I cant even believe it. We had so much together and where working so hard to get ahead ,I think. I had moved out of our condo and bought a foreclosure/rehab and was spending all my time fixing it up so she would feel more comfortable there but somehow it drew us apart. I give it alll back to just have her with me now. This SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!   

Comment by Stacy Anderson on December 4, 2010 at 1:29am

My husband died after falling off of a ladder. My children and I found him. He was still breathing but he was gone. He died the next day when he was taken off of life support. This was 1 1/2 years ago and I still cry daily from missing my husband and best friend. I feel like I am stuck in this grief and I cannot move past this stage to get on with my life. My husband was only 43 and was full of life. How do you go on without crying and replaying everything and every moment in your head about the accident and about the wonderful memories you had together?

Comment by Juanita Blackwell on October 10, 2010 at 5:47am

y name is Juanita. My husband died July 24, 2010. We had been together 36 years but did not get married until 18 days before he died. I am so lost.

Comment by Patty DeRusha on September 14, 2010 at 3:47pm

My name is Patty my husband died June26,2010. We were married 23 years. I am 55 years old and lost !

Comment by Patricia Diane Ghysels on August 8, 2010 at 12:04pm

Hi ... My name is Patsy, and I have been a widow for 7 yrs. My husband died of a brain tumor, after a six week illness. I am a member of "Gilda's Club of Grand Rapids", which I joined on my 50th birthday. Phil and I had been married 13 years (unlucky) and together 18 years. We had, at the time of his death, a 6 & 8 year old.

My journey for the last five years, has been helping others on their grief path. The worse moment since his death, was attending a wedding and hearing the words, "'Til death do you part". WOW--as we all know, that could be at anytime, other than old age.

I live in Grand Rapids MI if anyone would like someone to vent to.

The book that was the most beneficial to me was the book "Grief Steps" by Book Noel. She also has a book called "I Wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye" which is more useful for sudden/unexpected deaths. Her books were written from the heart, after her only sibling Caleb died from a bee sting out of the clear blue. I went on to become a member of Brook's online community Make Today Matter. I also have become a MTM Direct helping others align their lives and live in the moment, making everyday matter. My website is www.mtmwithpatsy.com. Most of the things (ebooks, mini classes etc.) that Brook creates are all down using the baby steps method. SHE TEACHES YOU TO MOVE FORWARD ON TROUBLED AREAS OF YOUR LIFE, AND REVIEWS STEPS THROUGH CHAT ROOMS, MAKING THESE REmain A HABIT.

A new life can be creating! You may reinvent yourself, you may just be peeling off the layers and returning to your own beliefs and values, but I can attest that their will be a light at the end of the tunnel. We will each grieve at our own pace, but I would suggest not putting the grief process off. It will become harder to go back and relive the experience of your spouse's death.

Put yourself first, and don't forget to ask for help from friends. I know you would rather hide away, but even a friend reading in the other room, will bring you comfort. The friends will fall by the wayside, his or hers, even family will shy away from you. It's only that they won't know how to help you, or what to say.

Email be at ghysels.patsy@comcast.net if you would to correspond.

(((hugs))) Patsy

Comment by Fernandohulya on August 6, 2010 at 5:19pm

Hi everyone, I have lost my husband in February to Lung Cancer. We both got married in October 1994, the happiest day of my life and have two children, a girl and a boy. My Baby is my soulmate sharing everything with him but I feel so left by him in this world to struggle on my own and punished by "God". Fernando is a good man always thinking of his family, looking after everyone and making jokes but why is this happening to him. I realize that i write in as he never left us but I feel he was taken without fullfilling what he came for. I hate when people came up to me and say I am young and find someone else, how heartless is that, I do not want someone else but only Fernando. I suppose to get on with my life, what life, do they realize that I just lost my future, the way we both planned?? What is wrong with the world?

Comment by Tracey on August 4, 2010 at 2:31am

I'm not sure if I belong in this group or not but here I am. On 12 May 2010 my beautiful, gentle husband Brook took his own life. He was only 41 and we have been married for 7 years but have been together for 12 years. I am 35 and I am just at a loss as to what to do or feel or how to begin to deal with this. He had never shown any sign of depression to anyone his entire life and this has come as a complete shock to everyone. I can't comprehend that he's gone and won't be coming back. We had been hoping to start a family this year and I can't help but feel a little cheated by him as I wanted to have children but then feel guilty for feeling that way. I am so sick of being told by everyone that I am still young and I will move on with my life and meet someone else, his mother even told me that at his funeral, I couldn't believe it. I know it sounds cliched but he was my soul mate and I don't know how to face the rest of my life without him, I feel like I'm just in limbo...Tracey

Comment by cynthia martinez on May 3, 2010 at 12:56am

i lost my hubby when i was 25yrs old, it will be 2 yrs on may 4th 2010, these 2 yrs have been the hardest lonliest yrs of my life. when my husband died of an overdose, i couldnt believe it had happened. i was a childless 25 yr old widow and i felt the world had just crashed on my shoulders, i felt forsaken by god and abandoned by my husband. i know the feeling of hating when people say"oh your so young you'll find love again"ugh!thats the stupidest thing people can say! my husband wasnt a puppy who died and got buried in my back yard! i wouldnt even want someone to be that insensitive if my puppy actually did die! my point is that i guess people just talk to say something. in reality we all know that in times of loss and pain it doesnt really matter what any says. pain is pain and nothing can soothe it but god. its going to be 2 yrs this coming tuesday and i still miss my love mario every second of every day. things like these arent suppose to happen to us, remember? but all we can do is pray for a better tomorrow and know that if we keep their memory alive they will always be here with us. god bless you all!...love cynthia

Comment by Susan on March 16, 2010 at 12:15pm

I'm no longer a young widow. My first husband died in 1979 at the age of 27 in a car accident. He left me with 3 young children, the youngest not even 2 months old yet. With no where to go, it took me years to get over it............and out of limbo. This site would have been a godsend to me then, as I'm sure it is to a lot of you now. You all are in my thoughts and prayers now and always.
Susan

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