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Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

Members: 1377
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This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.

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Discussion Forum

Grief so great it hurts

Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Diamond Jan 31. 13 Replies

Navigating Widow-hood

Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Michele Jul 21, 2019. 5 Replies

Finding the new normal

Started by Sharon Kinsey. Last reply by Frances C Younger Jun 24, 2019. 12 Replies

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Comment by Peg Otley on June 4, 2010 at 12:13am
I must have been blind for a while. I see Tom's comment now. I'm glad. Started getting worried for a minute there.
Comment by Connie on June 3, 2010 at 10:04pm
Helen, My heart goes out to you for making that very difficult decision. I was saved from that by the Grace of God. My daughters and I had an appointment on Monday, 11/9/09, at 9:30 a.m. with my husband's doctors to discuss stopping treatment because he was not responding to anything they were doing. At 6:00 a.m. that morning, I got a call from his nurse that suddenly his heart rate started dropping and at that point was at 34. My daughter and I rushed to the hospital which is only 10 minutes from my home and when we got there he had already passed. Had I had to go through with that meeting, I don't know what I would have done. I thank my husband and God for not making me make the decision. He chose to go in his own time and when he was ready and he knew that I could not bear to make that decision even though I know it would have been the kindest thing to do for my husband. I feel so very bad for you because I know that it would have been so very difficult for me as I am sure it was for you. You have to know in your heart that even though it is so difficult, that your husband would probably have wanted it that way. Helen, don't beat your self up over it. You have to believe that you did the right thing. May God Bless You and I will keep you in my prayers.
Comment by Dotti on June 3, 2010 at 9:17pm
My God Pam Im right there with you. Im so depressed I just want to die just so I can be with my Donnie. My heart has this giant hole in it. I leave work and barely get to another parking lot so I can cry for awhile. This is awful. I miss him so much.. It has also been 3 months for me. I thought as time went by things would get easier but that is not the case. I feel like there is no use for living anymore. I have to go and get help I cant do this on my own... Im sorry I know my thoughts are all over the place. My kids are here for me most of the time but its not the same..nothing is the same anymore.. Please pray for me
Comment by Pam on June 3, 2010 at 8:42pm
I'm new to this site. Saturday will be 3 months that I lost my husband Bob. I think of him every second of the day and miss him so much it hurts. I can only hope in time it will get better. I wonder if I will ever be the same again. I don't know what to do with myself. If I wasn't at work I was with Bob. I'm so lost. I need someone to give me hope that in time it will be better.
Comment by Peg Otley on June 3, 2010 at 8:20pm
It's odd not to see a comment from Tom for a couple days...or am I missing it?
Comment by Virginia on June 3, 2010 at 7:01pm
If I offended anyone here I am very sorry. It was not intentional. Virginia
Comment by Yvonne on June 3, 2010 at 4:19pm
Helen I am so sorry for your loss. I am also so sad that you feel so alone. I think the loneliness is almost the worst. No one to share your thoughts with, no one to count on, no one to hug and hold you. I lost my husband of 38 years August 9, 2009 to a heart attack. I also blame myself for not making him go to the doctor the day before he passed away. He was not feeling well, but thought it was some kind of flu that was going around and refused to go to the doctor. He passed away in his sleep at 6:30 am. Although we can't change what has happened to us, I know we all wish we had just another 10 minutes, an hour or day. But it is not to be and we must endure our lot in life. It is not easy as we all know. It is so nice to have people on here that understand. Take care and together we can all make it.
Yvonne
Comment by Helen Carll on June 3, 2010 at 3:28pm
This time last year my husband was fighting for his life in the hospital and with the help of the doctors and hospital he lost the battle which he fought bravely for years. They wanted to take him off life support and I must with much sorrow and regret when along with them. After spending 10 days watching him improving, then getting worse, not sleeping, I made the biggest mistake in my life by allowing them to basically contribute to his death. How I could give anything to have this time back so I would make different decisions. Even his daughter wanted him taken off of life support and when he was being slowlly dying she did not even stay at the hospital to comfort. She was my stapdaughter. Now I do not hear from his 3 children. I feel his daughter wanted him to die because of her mother and what a good life we had together to almost 30 years. My life has not gotten better and easier and I know it never will. I have no one to share life with - like going to dinner, going to church, going to the movies, even going to the doctors. I have not seen a doctor since my beloved died and I really do not care. All I feel like doing is crying. I miss him so and pray he will come back. I have even said prayers asking God to send him back - prayers that are supposed to never fail. I wish I could meet you in person to share this grief because I am lonesome.
Comment by Virginia on June 3, 2010 at 3:26pm
wow
Comment by Virginia on June 3, 2010 at 4:43am
Hi everyone, I held a bbq/family reunion on the 31st. I or I should say we my nephew and I worked for weeks to get the yard back in shape as it has been sorley neglected for the last 12 yrs. My husband took such pride in keeping it up we have 3/4 of a acre in yard and a acre and a half in field. My nephew did the best he could when my husband got sick but didn't do it like mike would and boy did he hear about it when mike would go outside lol anyway while we were working we had alot of good memories and when something would happen like a branch falling really close to us we would say it was mike trying to get back at my nephew for not doing it right in the first place lol,then there was the cooking to do. I ask everyone to bring a side dish or dessert and I never did that before we always did it all. We all had a very nice time even tho it was 92 hot and humid. nephews we helped raised were all here and they shared their memories one was not here for the funeral but there was no tears all laughter, now that it is all over boy am I really in a low spot again I found that all the many days and hours of work were very theraputic (excuse the spelling ) now I have nothing to do again,and going in the yard seems hard because mike would be so proud of it. You would think after 13 months it would be easier it's not, now I'm even having a hard time comming down the steps in the A M. I slept in the living room with mike for 10 yrs. and have recently started sleeping back in our bedroom and have a hard time comming down and he is not on the couch,so I'm finding myself sleeping in the living room again on his couch. It is so hard being in here pretty much 24/7. Virginia
 

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