Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


Discussion Forum


Started by Julie. Last reply by DJ Dec 6, 2020. 1 Reply

Grief so great it hurts

Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Diamond Jan 31, 2020. 13 Replies

Navigating Widow-hood

Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Michele Jul 21, 2019. 5 Replies

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Comment by judy on May 18, 2010 at 8:52pm
I keep trying to compare the grief over my hisband's death to the grief we experienced when we lost our 17 year old son 27 years ago. Pain is pain, both deaths were sudden and unexpected. At the time our son died we both thought we would do better if it had been one of us. Now I don't know. I am grateful that I two wonderful daughters and three grandsons and the fact that my husband is now with our son, Frank, comforts me but the pain of grief is there and I miss my husband terribly. I know I never quit missing Frank but we did become happy again. Right now I can't imagine the idea of ever experiencing happiness again but I will try to trust God and take each day and hour at a time. I am working with many clients who are experiencing grief and I am being as honest with them as possible. Therapists grieve too.
Comment by Mare on May 18, 2010 at 5:02pm
Hi, I have not been posting here very much but have been reading through all your posts. I know what a difficult journey this is for all of us. My husband has been gone for 19 months now and I would like to say it's easier but it's really not. I am stronger now, though, and able to cope with my loss better but I miss him more than ever. We were married for a little over 30 years. He was going out on a Saturday morning to do some work on our property. He fell from some scaffolding and died instantly. I said good-bye to him in the morning and never saw him again. My heart is broken and still I don't know how to go on some days.
Comment by Randolph L. Schrader on May 18, 2010 at 3:22pm
It has been 13 months since my wife died an hour into a nap and I heard and saw her die. She had put her shirt and pants on the handle of the vacuum cleaner next to the bed. I refuse to remove them off the handle and had sniffed her shirt for her smell till it finally had worn off. I will never touch her clothes and shoes in the closet but I did throw away the surface things that was hers. She was a small ,tiny woman that anything of hers wouldn't fit anyone else anyway.Hugs to all and thank you STEVE CAIN for having this site.
Comment by Virginia on May 18, 2010 at 9:16am
Sandralee, Don't be worried about that, when and if you are ready we are here for you. virginia
Comment by Sandralee Vahey on May 18, 2010 at 4:45am
To all who read my message to Virginia please forgive me for not responding to yours. The tears are coming down fast and furious and I can't seem to control them. My heartfelt love and concern goes out to each and everyone of you. May god bless you and keep you always. Sandralee
Comment by Connie on May 18, 2010 at 12:31am
At 12:29am on May 18th, 2010, Connie said…
Yesterday, May 17th, was my husband's "10th" birthday. He received a heart transplant on 5/17/2000. Without the transplant he would not have surived another week but thanks to the very kind donor family, we had 9 1/2 years. In the end, the heart held up when all other organs were just shutting down. His cause of death was "sepsis". The doctors believed that he contacted an infection from where they inserted the catheter to do dialysis. His heart was still good. I dreaded this day like I have dreaded so many other days. I don't know how I am going to get through all the other dreaded days but I must try my best. Thank God for 3 beautiful daughters, 2 fantastic sons-in-law and 5 of the most beautiful grandchildren anyone could ask for. I go to the cemetary to be near him every day and sometimes more than once a day. It gives me some sort of peace knowing that I can be by his body if even for a short time. I wish everyone on this site the best and I am confident that we will all get by in our own way. No one should be judged for what they say when they are venting. We all need to be here for each other because prople who have not experienced this kind of loss just DO NOT understand the lonliness and devastation we feel. God Bless one and all.
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Comment by lindarunion on May 17, 2010 at 9:29pm
i lost my husband of31 years may 5th ifeelso lost .
Comment by Virginia on May 17, 2010 at 8:27pm
Maureen, Hi I don't think we'll ever be normal again,it is a big adjustment for sure.I'm so sorry for your loss,this site is wonderfull everyone is hear for the same reason in one way or another.The good thing is if you feel like writing or just read the post it's all ok.I'm fairley new to the site myself and everyone has been just great.May god give you the strenth to take it as you need too, as we all grieve in a different way. Virginia
Comment by Maureen on May 17, 2010 at 7:58pm
hi this is the first time I've written anything here, my husband died May 9th I am just so lost. Reading comments on this site I know I'm not the only one. But I just can't believe I'll ever feel normal again.
Comment by kathleen caylor on May 17, 2010 at 5:55pm
Fred,Julie,Sorry for your losses.When you need an ear to bend or just vent,this is your place.We have all bared our souls here.And you're right it is very theraputic.

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