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Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

Members: 1372
Latest Conversations: Sep 15

This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.

Peace

Discussion Forum

Navigating Widow-hood

Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Michele Jul 21. 5 Replies

Finding the new normal

Started by Sharon Kinsey. Last reply by Frances C Younger Jun 24. 12 Replies

Grief so great it hurts

Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Bonny Jones Jan 22. 12 Replies

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Comment by Marika on February 14, 2010 at 1:00pm
It has ben 10 years since my sweetheart died, and i still can not let go,It is tearing me apart.
Today is Valentines day, my sweetheart should be here with me.
Comment by Ana Rose on February 14, 2010 at 5:41am

Our last picture together. 4 days before he left.
Comment by Rachael on February 13, 2010 at 10:47pm

Valentines day is gonna be sad because my husband used to give our daughter one of those big Valentines Baskets every year. And now he's not there to give her one. She was the apple of his eye. He truley adored her with all his heart.
Comment by Denise MacCallum on February 13, 2010 at 3:59pm
Seeing that tomorrow is Valentine's Day...I thought these words were appropriate for us...
Love begins with a smile,
Grows with a kiss,
And ends with a teardrop....
Denise M.
Comment by Julie on February 13, 2010 at 10:37am
I may mention that I was not able to have children, as I had a surgery that saved my life in 1997.
Comment by Julie on February 13, 2010 at 10:36am
Real happy to find this site, I lost my beloved Dennis Paul on 1-14-10, dead in the bed from a heart attack at age 51. Tomorrow would have been our Wedding Anniversary.
Comment by Ana Rose on February 13, 2010 at 4:14am
My husband and I had a very unique love story. It's so unique that I haven't even heard of a similar one in movies or anywhere else. We got married in August 23, 2009. We decided to expand our family so we mutually agreed to have more kids right away. We bought a house together, van, etc. On our way, getting ready, to live a loving, healthy and happy family life together. January 14, 2010, I waited for him outside the building of my work because he was supposed to pick me up. He always did. I even complained what's the point of having my own license if I can't drive. He never came so I had my mom picked me up from work and dropped me home. I got inside our home and my husband was in the stairs lifeless. He died from heart attack. He was only 39 years old. I felt so confused, shocked, hurt. He was full of life. He was the humurous type, the trouble maker, the annoying kind. I thought I'm open-minded than most and that I've accepted his death. I thought I understood why he had to go. I thought there are reasons why he had to go. But yesterday I had another breakdown at work. It doesn't help that my hormones from pregnancy are all over the place either. I'm having another sleepless night. I don't cry as much anymore but I keep having those "unconscious state", just staring at the horizon, blank mind, numb feelings. I had to keep reminding myself that I need to take care of myself especially for his unborn daughter. I received nasty text messages from one his friend. Accusing me of not loving my husband and I was the cause of his death, etc. It bothered me for a minute then that numbness feeling took over again. It's like no negative words that anyone would say could wake me up from this dream. I came home that day before 3pm and found him dead. I talked to him at 12noon from work during my break. He was as funny and as lively as he always was. Telling me to come home because he made chili for me. He knew I dislike chili and yet he was so proud of his cooking. We said I love you and see you soon to each other, like we always do. I think it's too soon that's why I still feel so lost. I'm just scared that it would hit me one day when I least expect it and break me down. I pray everyday and ask my husband too for more strength. I'm looking forward to seeing his baby face to face in June. He's coming back. At least half of him is.
Comment by Bonnie Labelle on February 12, 2010 at 5:38pm
I lost my husband to a train accident almost 2 yrs ago now I know its hard to rely on family and friends they all have their own lives so i turned to my computer and looked within myself and decided to like my own company I go for walks do a little shopping but the thing that has helped me thru it i think is my business and my fellow employees My dogs have also filled the void I cry at least once a week now and I give myself permission to do that then i get on with the day All this has helped me a great deal




Bonnie Labelle
Comment by kathleen caylor on February 12, 2010 at 4:46pm
I't will be 5 months tomorrow.I think it's sensory deprivation.No touching,seeing,hearing,tasting or smelling.I feel like a fish that has been gutted.Just the shell of a human being left.All that's left is the pain.I'm tired of crying.
Comment by kathy arocho on February 12, 2010 at 12:38pm
I lost my soulmate Nov 14th 2009, so Valentine Day will be hard because it is 3 months since he died. A lot of us are experiencing the same feelings as we face each new day. We are hurting over the loss and wonder who will worry over us,eating our meals alone at night wondering if we did all that we could do when they died.Did we know that it was their last day? I'm sure we did not. My husband still was able to get up to brush his teeth but I think when he saw his appearance he gave up. He was overcoming many crises and won them all. The social worker just left that morning and reminded me (I thought he was sleeping) that his body had to get used to the meds that was why he was sleeping.He was really in a coma.His face and lips just blew up on his last day and I constantly see his face on his last day.I was racing to find some answers while I called the hospice nurse. I was alone until I tried getting his sons home. One son was not around much because he didn't like being poor as a teenager and felt my husband wasn't around for him (my husband had a business that he lost) But he showed up for the funeral and greeted the family etc.A week before Christmas after much discussion how the past is the past we decided to be family again.Well he disappeared into the night so now I'm experiencing another loss.I'm still waiting for hospice beavement group to start but found solace in help from this group.May be peace with us.
 

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