Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


Discussion Forum

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Comment by Walter Crowley on March 15, 2010 at 1:09pm
And one more thing, please understand, I'm not trying to bust anyones bubble or deflat their dreams, I would love nothing more than to know my wife is in heaven safe with the Lord, that she knows I miss her and Love her. I'm just confus3ed and am trying to get real truthful answers.
Comment by Walter Crowley on March 15, 2010 at 1:05pm
I'm becoming more and more perplexed as time goes by. I must admit that I have never thought of or studied the areas of the bible as it relates to death in general. One has no doubt heard countless times on the passing of a loved one, " you should be happy, their in heaven with the Lord smiling down on you". The truth of the matter is according to most of what I've read lately on the subject, that in fact is not the case at all. According to everything I have read within the doctrine of christianity, the dead are dead, they take the long sleep until such time that the Lord calls them to their judgement upon their resurection. Their is no soul per say, their not hovering over us protecting us and smiling, they have no memories, they do not dream, they do not contact us in any form or fashion. They are in fact dead, returned to the dust we were made of. They don't come to us in our dreams, they are not spirits or ghosts, and in fact if you see one, God orders us to ignore them because they are in fact demons who in their evil ways seek to trick us. And if you look in the bible thats exactly what it says. The dead are dead!!! So now what???
Comment by kathleen caylor on March 15, 2010 at 11:24am
Grieving is exhausting!It takes so much out of you.You are "strong"I hate that phrase,but you have a full plate right now.Dealing with your husbands death and raising a grandchild.Is there anyone who could help you?Most people want to help you but don't know how.If someone asks don't be afraid to take them up on the offer.As far as the hurt goes ,I'm still waiting.Get some rest and try to find some peace.
Comment by Joyce F. on March 14, 2010 at 11:07pm
My husband died March 9,2010...I just can't believe it, i feel lost.
Comment by Dee on March 14, 2010 at 10:53pm
Kathleen, I did go to the learn and read it. Thank you. I am not sure if it helps or not. I was looking in my husband's desk and found my birthday card. My birthday is March 16. I know he was thinking of me but it hurts more now. I found out from my husbands doctor that the hospital messed up. They caused his death by the meds they gave him. He should not have left me. I just want to be with him. We have been raising our grand daughter, she just turned 6. Kara and pop were very close. He was retired and I worked. He would take her to school, pick her up after school and fix dinner every evening with her. She would sit on the counter and help him. She would sit on his lap every evening and read to him. I try to stay strong for her but I am crying all the time. I can't stop. I think I am hurting her by crying all the time but I can't stop. I just want the hurt to stop.
Comment by jan on March 14, 2010 at 11:47am
Laurie, I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my husband of 32 yrs 12/09. I feel the same way every night I pray that he will come and take me so I can be with him. If you have to cry, cry I think it helps...Try to smile he's always with you!
Comment by kathleen caylor on March 14, 2010 at 8:58am
Dee,On the top of this page,there is a section that says "learn"Hit it and pull up sudden death.My husband died 6 months ago from an M.I.It tells you how our coping mechanisms are so different due to not being prepared.It helped me understand why we question everything.It didn't ease the pain but I felt better after I read it.I had my pity party yesterday and I feel better today.But Dee,as we know it is a long ,dark,lonely road with many twists and turns.I'm sorry you have to travel it!Best wishes,Kathy
Comment by Cathy on March 14, 2010 at 8:50am
Craig, In life I loved you dearly, in death I love you still. Although you've gone away, you walk beside me everyday, unseen, unheard, but always near.
You are still loved, still missed and very dear.
Love you always, Cathy xoxoxo
Comment by Yvonne on March 13, 2010 at 10:24pm
Hi Dee
I am so sorry for your loss. All of us here understand what you are going through as we have been where you are now. Your pain is so new and raw. Please understand that you are among friends here. I still have trouble eating and sleeping and I lost my Larry 7 months ago.
Larry passed away from a heart attack too. It was very sudden as was your loss. Please be assured that you did everything that you could. It is always easy to second guess ourselves after the fact. I also did not get to say goodbye and tell him how much I loved him. Though it is very hard, I am grateful that he did not suffer. He passed in his sleep.
I still have my bad days but I do not cry as often as I once did. I try to make him proud of me as I know he is watching over me.
Take care of yourself and make him proud of you. He still loves you as you do him
Comment by Dee on March 13, 2010 at 9:37pm
I just lost my husband of 25 years two week ago today. I can't sleep, cant eat and the tears just keep flowing. I have hurt so much. Ray was not sick. I took him to the hospital with chest pain. They did a EKG and said it was ok. They did some blood work and something was high. The doctor said he had a small heart attack. They were going to keep him for two day and take him to the Cath Lab and he would be able to go home. They took him to a room and as he got into bed he coded. They worked on him for 90 min. I never got to tell him how much I love him. I didn't get to say goodby. This was just too fash. How do you go on after something like this?

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