Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

Members: 1376
Latest Conversations: Jul 6

This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


Discussion Forum

Grief so great it hurts

Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Diamond Jan 31. 13 Replies

Navigating Widow-hood

Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Michele Jul 21, 2019. 5 Replies

Finding the new normal

Started by Sharon Kinsey. Last reply by Frances C Younger Jun 24, 2019. 12 Replies

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Comment by Trina Mamoon on December 12, 2018 at 11:21pm
DJ, thank you for your kind note to us all on this site. Hope you are doing okay under the circumstances. Sending good thoughts your way.
Comment by Trina Mamoon on December 12, 2018 at 11:16pm
Comment by Trina Mamoon on December 12, 2018 at 11:14pm
Mary Jane,
I am someone who had to sell our beautiful house two years after Joseph’s passing and move to another state. Preparing the house for sale, moving out and finally selling the house was the one of most traumatic experiences that I had to weather. It was like a smaller death. I don’t quite know how I survived that terrible, terrible trauma. The help and moral and material support of a few good friends as well as throwing a lot of money for hired help was probably how I survived it. I haven’t quite gotten over selling that house that Joseph and I so loved. It has left me depleted, as it seemed that the house was a big earthly link to Joseph.
At one point I had to ask friends to come empty out Joseph’s closet after I had kept as many of his things I could. They came and took away his things (they kept a few items and the rest was donated to local charities); that was the only way I could let go of his things.
My trauma lasted for about a year... I feel very sorry for you as I have undergone the trauma of selling the home that I shared with the love of my life. I am sending you prayers for courage and perseverance. Hang in there!
Comment by Mary. Jane on December 12, 2018 at 10:12pm

Ok, this is for those of you who have lost yr partner for over 3 years or more, and uprooted your life to a new location. Is this normal, or am I going nuts?   I returned from CA a week ago..after looking at senior parks and mobile homes. Now, instead of sorting, discarding, packing, I haveen,t  been able to barely FUNCTION.

I sit here all day, online, or watching mindless TV..procrastinating not doing ANYTHING. I have done useless stuff,shopping on Amazon, or trying to pick an outfit for next Monday’s Bunko party..sent a few Christmas cards...I can,t even watch a movie I have wanted to see on Netflix! And the time just keeps passing, but really slowly. My house is in total chaos, and somehow I have to get it ready to SELL hahahahaha..and yet I don,t do anything. It has been like this all week. 

My brain has lost all function...this morning I slept until 10:45!!! 

But the real shock was when  I saw a spider on the kitchen floor, and DIDN,t even freak out! I calmly picked up the phone book and dropped it on the spider, waited a few mins, then picked it up with a tissue and disposed of it. (The spider, not the book) 

i am DEATHLY afraid of spiders..and usually I would still be terrified and really unrealistically stressed, worried his friends were going to crawl in..(no joke) but today, and the last 3 times I have seen a spider, there has been a weird DETATCHMENT like I am a robot. 

I am thinking, when Bob died...he was gone, but I was still here..nothing else WORLD changed but my surroundings remained the same. And underneath it all, I am TERRIFIED of this invasion INTO my world, and having to leave my home. Am I loosing  it? Did anyone else experience this? 

Comment by Mary. Jane on December 12, 2018 at 8:22pm

Yes, that is my daughter singing.

Comment by DJ on December 12, 2018 at 12:18pm

Mary Jane I love Melinda's music! Thanks for posting that link.
Marsha, glad you are okay; I'm a creature of habit, so when your pattern changed...
Sheri: yay! Will you be updating your blog
Steve: it’s gratifying to hear good things happening to good people!
Debora, Chicago, Sara, Trina, Georgia, Charles, Pete, … and all you other regulars past & present / frequent or sporadic – thanks for sharing, thanks for caring.
Great to see good news this past little while, to see there is light at the end of the tunnel – especially for those who will be, sadly, joining our ranks.

Comment by Marsha H on December 12, 2018 at 6:24am

Sheri ...  I am so happy you have found someone to be in your life and you deserve it.  It's been 7 years for me and I have found no one ...  spinach in my teeth?  LOL


Comment by Marsha H on December 12, 2018 at 6:21am

Steve ...  I am so happy to hear you are finished with your treatments and doing much better.  I pray for all of us each night without fail so there are miracles helping!  Just keep getting stronger and know that we miss you.  Wish I could hug you in person and celebrate!  

Your Sis



Comment by Marsha H on December 12, 2018 at 6:19am

Mary Jane ...  the songs absolutely beautiful and quite different which is refreshing.  Quite a talented young lady.  Hope she keeps it up.  Is that her singing?

Comment by Marsha H on December 12, 2018 at 6:18am

So sorry I haven't been on here for quite sometime.  Thanks DJ and Mary Jane.  Didn't mean to cause anyone to worry about me.  I have been busy with all sorts of things and also, two of my girlfriends have cancer and I'm helping where I can.  Yup, makes life seem worth living when I find good homes for homeless dogs.  I've been out with friends as well and now preparing for the holidays.  Having 2 buffets in December and gee, I think I forget how to cook for more than one person.  LOL

Bless you all, you are in my thoughts and heart always.



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