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Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

Members: 1370
Latest Conversations: 23 hours ago

This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.

Peace

Discussion Forum

Finding the new normal

Started by Sharon Kinsey. Last reply by Frances C Younger Jun 24. 12 Replies

Grief so great it hurts

Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Bonny Jones Jan 22. 12 Replies

Navigating Widow-hood

Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Bonny Jones Jan 16. 4 Replies

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Comment by Steve G. on May 27, 2019 at 8:06am

Mary.Jane,

OMG, that is enough to scare anyone of us.  Please never apologize for posting, we have all had to do that more than once.  For me, posting and venting is like a pressure valve, may not change things around us, but it does help to calm us.

North Texas and the pan handle have been in the sweep of all the tornadoes.  Where we live, some of the storms have been severe, but not anything like what we see happening to Tulsa and other states.  One night a few weeks back, we were under a Tornado watch, hail warning and possible flash flooding.  Chuck jumped up and went from room to room, I causally asked, what are you doing and he said "looking for my Ruby Slippers, we can't go to Kansas with them.  

Praying that your home sells fast so that you and Kitty can get back to California.

Hugs,

Steve 

 

Comment by Marsha H on May 27, 2019 at 5:22am

Mary. Jane. ...  Wow!  What a time you are having.  I feel so badly you have to go through this and where I live in B.C., we don't have anything like that ... yet!  Records for weather are being broken all over the world.  

I am so happy where you live you have been blessed, but it must be terrifying for you and your kitty to hear all that noise.  

I am so happy to hear that you found a house in California.  You must describe it in your next post.  At least they don't have tornadoes there.  

Mary, please ask a neighbor to drive you to the vets because anal glands that are infected are very serious.  Either that or see if a vet can come to your house (will cost you extra of course) but your kitty can't go on like that.  I know, one of my kitties had the same thing.  It's also very painful for them.  I was lucky at the time Ernie and I drove her to the vets.

Never apologize my friend for venting or long posts.  That's what we are here for and you're family so here I am!  LOL  

Big hugs

Marsha

Comment by Mary. Jane on May 26, 2019 at 10:48pm

Well I see it’s been very quiet here for a week! And, during this week...just unbelievable chaos has become my life. I dunno if y’all have seen the national weather the last week..but I live in Tulsa OK...and we’ve had tornadoes nearly every day/night. There was so much rain, the many lakes and rivers were at capacity..so they released the water behing held back with the dams. People that escaped the damage, are being moved from their homes, as they have to intentionally flood the areas. No one here has ever seen anything like this for 30 years or more.and never for such a long period of time, over and over. 

So far, the area I live in has been blessed..kitty and I have come very close, hiding in our shelter for hours, while winds, rain, sirens and cell phones scream around us. Next week is predicted more tornadoes..even a possible one tonight. 

And during all of this, just b4 the first tornado,  I listed my house for sale...besides the weather, people have been coming all week...and at the beginning of May, I found a place in California and made an offer. They accepted it. 

Bob died 3 years ago..and I have done nothing all that time..and now EVERYTHING is happening. And the topper was today, when kitty got an anal gland infection...and, remember I DON’T DRIVE! so I have pretty much “hit the wall”. Thankfully I have medication for him..but it is just so much to take in just one week. 

Thanks for letting me vent. Sorry for the long post.

Comment by Marsha H on May 21, 2019 at 3:17pm

Diane C ...  That was beautiful and oh so true.

Thanks my dear friend.

Love & Hugs

Marsha

Comment by Diane C on May 21, 2019 at 12:09pm

I thought this was very appropriate for all of us......

"Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim."

- Vicki Harrison

Comment by Marsha H on May 21, 2019 at 12:17am

Debbie R ...  Hope you got my email address.  Sent it to your private account.  If you have issues navigating to find it just leave me a post here.

Hugs

Marsha

Comment by Frances C Younger on May 19, 2019 at 12:36pm

Sitting on an empty pew.  trying to think of Jesus, but can't get my mind off you.  My Blues for today.

Comment by Marsha H on May 19, 2019 at 5:58am

Debbie R ...  You are part of our family (sisters and brothers) and as I always say 'angels' on Legacy.  Please keep coming back and posting and there is not a thing you can see that we wouldn't understand.  Never think for a minute anything you feel is silly or crazy because it's not.  

I think it's wonderful you go to visit Tommy.  No, he's not in the grave, but sitting next to you smiling and forcing those memories you both had together.  You are never alone Debbie.  Remember I said in another post that when we love our spouses so deeply and they loved us death does not stop that love.  So much is not known of the unknown and as far as myself I believe our spouses are right there for us.  

I've always been a really huggy person.  LOL  I'd love that big hug and one back at you.  It would be so wonderful if all of us could meet somewhere, but never forget the longer you are on Legacy you feel like you know us.

Have a peaceful day my dear friend and I'm praying for you and all the other angels on here.

Big huge hug!

Marsha

Comment by Marsha H on May 19, 2019 at 5:48am


Steve ...  That's absolutely beautiful and I BELIEVE!  Thank you my dear brother.

Hugs

Marsha

Comment by Charles E. Nelson on May 18, 2019 at 12:29pm

Dear Debbie,

It makes me feel better to think that maybe something I have said in some small way has helped you. This is what I found here right from the start almost 4 years ago. I know what you mean, that hearing about everyone's sadness and loneliness makes me want so much to be able to take it away, but of course I can't. All we can do is be here with and for each other, listening and sharing. In my mind I imagine a gathering of us all in person - I want the Kleenex concession on that event!

I think is so good that you visit Tommy on the weekends - were I close enough and able to drive, I would have done so where Larry's ashes are interred, but that was not possible. I got to visit there with Steve before moving from NJ in 2017, and hope we will go there again one day if we are in that area. I wonder often if his children or sister ever visit there. I don't think they do - I feel like I have lost an entire family after his passing, but sadly came to face the truth that for them, I never really was "family", just someone who lived with Larry. 

Memorial Day approaches, bringing with it much talk about and appropriate focus on remembering our lost heroes. I send my love and hugs to all here whose spouses served our country in the services, and to all who themselves serve. This can be an especially rough time for us all, with constant visuals of cemeteries and graves. I pray for us all that we find some peaceful place in our hearts to remember and embrace our lost loves, who I know are watching from right beside us and loving us back.

Love and hugs to all,

Chuck

 

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