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Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.

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Discussion Forum

Navigating Widow-hood

Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Michele Jul 21. 5 Replies

Finding the new normal

Started by Sharon Kinsey. Last reply by Frances C Younger Jun 24. 12 Replies

Grief so great it hurts

Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Bonny Jones Jan 22. 12 Replies

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Comment by Frances C Younger on July 17, 2019 at 10:13am

Deborah, my dad was a Baptist minister, but raises Catholic!  I loved his perspective.  Here is what I read on the idea of souls reincarnating.  If the love is strong, they wait for us.  Their time is not like ours, so for them it is moments.  (  Makes no sense to me. )  I kind of like to think that way.  I like the idea, but I have no proof.  Yet, many of us sensitive people do see what appears to be signs.  I have for sure.  I don't think all I experience is my mind playing games on me.  So, I ask, is my mind a spirit part of me, and my brain the control panel for my body?

Comment by deborah peck on July 17, 2019 at 9:45am

My first husband was a Baptist minister but I was raised Catholic so talk about  getting a new perspective, Im not sure about the reincarnation thing because if its true then we wouldn't feel our spouses energy would we? when my first husband passed I got a lot of signs from here that I know he was around, when I met and married my second husband I no longer felt him around, maybe he thought Greg would take care of me now. When Greg passed away I do not feel him like that at all, I will dream about him occasionally but that's it, Im afraid that if I believe in reincarnation that they would not be mine anymore but rather they now live another life, weird thought

Comment by Frances C Younger on July 15, 2019 at 10:16pm

My neighbor's son is to be buried Saturday.  She asked me if I believed they make a connection with us.  I told her we would talk about it later, sometime after this week.  We can share our observations.

Comment by Frances C Younger on July 15, 2019 at 10:09pm

OK Steven, I so agree.  My Dad was the minister.  lol  In truth, Dad loved people and was preaching what was acceptable at the time.  I am a few years younger, 68, married 3 times, divorced once.  I lost my   Larry after 20 years, and recently Vaughn after 14.  Aie, he promised to grow old with me.  I still believe his spirit is here, or he drops in on a regular basis.   

He was my best friend and we had a lot of conversations about religion too.  We both believed in God, but dared to question.  He was thrown out of a church for asking if the children of Adam and Eve committed incest. lol        Oh those Churchians!!!    

I too questioned everything, and was in a constant battle with my mom on religion.  OK, maybe I was a little - strong-willed was their word.

We connect on another level Steve.  My life has been blessed but hard at the same time.  Vaughn and I had temporary custody of my grand kids.  I still have 2 little boys, and an 18 year old with me.  So difficult after Vaughn died and I was so dysfunctional.  I gave up the teen age girl because her behavior was too much for me.  

I think their are many mysteries too.  I also write.  Coming here for comfort helped me put my emotions in words, and I knew you all were on that same path.  Finally, I am back to writing which was more of a hobby, but I am writing for children now and hoping to be published.  Be nice to have the income.

Comment by Steve G. on July 15, 2019 at 7:31am

Frances,

You are correct, as a young child though I questioned everything and got the standard response "It's what the Bible says" you should not question such things.  In other words, be quiet and don't cause problems.

My past has defined me, grief has been an unwanted companion of mine from the time I was 5 months old and lmy sister was 4 yrs old when our mother died.  I was raised by my grandparents, and my sister stayed with our father until I was 6 yrs old, then became a pawn of my father.  He had remarried and wanted me back.  The story is a long one and sad for all of us.  In the end, things got to a point when my half sister was born.  Long story short, both my sister and I were given legal custody to our grandparents.

As time marched on my grandparents passed, then my sister when she got pancreatic cancer.  She was 50 and I was 46.

My questions never got answered to my satisfaction, when I lost Mark in 2014 all of that past came up and out.  I am now 72 and because of my grief, I began to look back and I found Legacy, I found a Church non-denominational, very small and LGBT.  That was a starting point, a small group of us started a bible study group.  This one did not just read text and ask "how or what does that say to you".  The gentleman running this was an ordained Methodist minister, he too was interested in all of the questions that are not spoken about, looking up the original text in the original language.  He was well versed in research and used a Lexicon to assist.  

There are more mysteries in this world and I find writing and research as my outlet. 

Comment by Frances C Younger on July 14, 2019 at 8:54pm

Steve, I agree with you as well.  We were taught out parent's faith.  Now, we see different and are more free to discuss it.  I am non-denominational, but a follower of the teachings of Christ.  At the same time, am I am sure you are by how you post, I read and question a lot.

Comment by Frances C Younger on July 13, 2019 at 10:25pm

Mary Jane, I am going to check that book out.  Hope I don't forget the writer's name.  i just finished How the Bible Actually Works, by Peter Enns.  It was good.  He talks about the Bible being mostly a book of wisdom.  You all might like to check it out.  I remember being told about the King James Bible and how proud the King was to have his name on it.  

Comment by Frances C Younger on July 13, 2019 at 10:12pm

Yep Steve, you get an A from this teacher.  I actually ran across something the other day about the word 'nice'.  

Comment by Steve G. on July 13, 2019 at 12:42pm

One of my favorite movies is on "On a clear day you can see forever".

I have read many books about re- incarnation and I have also read the Bible many times, but never bothered to consider researching.  Simple things like words we see in printed form, that did not exist 2000 years ago.  The other part was the context and history thru the years to today.

King James ordered his scribes to translate a 13th century Catholic Bible from latin into old english of his time and he choose what to leave in and what to take out.  He wanted his subjects to read and understand the bible.

History is full of mis- interpretations, these are my own assumptions based on my own research.

All of the original writtings perished when the Romans burned and pillaged Jerusalem.  Plenty of copies were held in secrete and these were the basis of what we have today.

Each year the english language adds about 1500 new words as pur society changes.  Also, we have words that have many different meanings, depending on the context in which they are used.

Take the word nice...in Victorian times, persons not wishing to say anything bad about someone, would refer to them as "nice".  Not very flattering, today we use it to describe things we like.

Sorry...i digress sometimes... 

Comment by Frances C Younger on July 13, 2019 at 11:12am

Steve, I agree with you as well.  We were taught out parent's faith.  Now, we see different and are more free to discuss it.  I am non-denominational, but a follower of the teachings of Christ.  At the same time, am I am sure you are by how you post, I read and question a lot.

 

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