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Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

Members: 1374
Latest Conversations: 17 hours ago

This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.

Peace

Discussion Forum

Grief so great it hurts

Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Diamond Jan 31. 13 Replies

Navigating Widow-hood

Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Michele Jul 21, 2019. 5 Replies

Finding the new normal

Started by Sharon Kinsey. Last reply by Frances C Younger Jun 24, 2019. 12 Replies

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Comment by Janice F. on December 30, 2012 at 10:23am

Diane C...cell phones DO work during a power outage, of course you have to be able to charge them, which I do by using my car charger if the power is out long enough.  Landlines which are corded do work during a power outage...cordless ones do not, which I found out the hard way...

Frank I am so sorry you are suffering so.  As I am also.  Not sure I will ever feel in my right mind again.  Its been 6 months and my pain is worse.  Maybe its because partly of the holiday season, I don't know.  If I have come across as abrasive or whatever recently, I am sorry,  that is not me.  My feelings are so easily hurt and I don't know how I can live this new life with this new me.  I have told my immediate family, kids & grands and one of Dons sons & wife who live just around the corner they can come over New Yrs Eve, play some card games, eat, have a drink, for those who do...trying to have some kind of normalcy, as that's what we had done for several years.  But now I just don't think I can do it.  I guess I can just go to bed.

Comment by Diane C on December 30, 2012 at 7:44am

Very well said Carol and Dixie!!! Thanks for the excellent words of wisdom...

Comment by Carol Kayser on December 29, 2012 at 10:29pm
Hi Dixie. Thank you for reaching out to Frank and others on the site. You have so many words of wisdom to share. No one is to blame when we lose our spouse, our loved one. We actually don't realize at the time that we have done everything we could to prevent it but we are not invincible and I venture to say, as my husband did to me, that he "couldn't do this anymore". I had to accept it, knowing I couldn't fight it or change his mind. I was angry, sad, confused, hurt, but in my heart I knew it to be true. I know acceptance is very difficult but until one accepts, there will be no healing.

God Bless,
Carol
Comment by Frank Andrews on December 29, 2012 at 8:38pm

Diane,

 Thanks for your thoughts.  Words seem to have little meaning when you get into these dark moods but knowing that others care and share in your grief to some extent eases the pain. I just hope I can put my guilt and grief to rest for a while and try to get on with life. 

  People (friends and family) do not want to be around a person who is really grieving and I can't really blame them. I am uncomfortable expressing my grief to them and getting all the standard replies.  At least the good people on this forum understand grieving.

Comment by Diane C on December 29, 2012 at 8:23pm

Dixie,

Jerry is a regular on this site. Only, I don't think we have heard from him in a while. Please use your experience and try to help him if you can... He was there to welcome me when I joined. Thanks!!

Comment by Diane C on December 29, 2012 at 8:20pm

Hi Frank,

I am worried about you... It's good to see you posting, and trying to help me, but at the same time, I worry about you coping. I hope that Dixie can help you with some of the issues that you have. Between her and the rest of the people on this site, I hope that you can get some answers and relief from your grief. This is the worse time of the year, I think, to be going through this. I really wish that we were all in the same neighborhood and could get together and take care of our issues together. I just want you to know that you are loved and thought of every day. We all pray for you and hope that things get better for you.

Comment by Frank Andrews on December 29, 2012 at 7:45pm

Dixie,

 I am having some difficult nights and I have not been sleeping very much.  Napping during the day. Dealing with the loss of my wife is extra stressful for I blame myself for not getting the prompt and proper medical care she needed. It has been 4 months yet it seems like it all happened yesterday and I can recall every mistake that was made which led to her unexpected death.  

  I certainly hope that everyone else on this forum is doing better than I am for this is no way to live.  You did get through your grief and I hope this inspires everyone else. So many others seem to handle their grief easier and I often wonder why. 

  Hugs to all.

Comment by Diane C on December 29, 2012 at 3:56pm

Thank you everyone for your prayers!! I really do appreciate all of the support I receive on here. I sure hope they help me. My next appt. with him isn't until January 16th. But, I am hoping I can call Monday and try to get an appt. sooner, now that I know I can not take the medication he prescribed.

It finally stopped snowing here this afternoon. It looks absolutely beautiful, but that is from the inside looking out. I took some pictures today of the trees and the creek behind my house, and of course some of the dog in the snow. She is really not too fond of it. I guess when your nether region is sitting in the snow, I wouldn't be to fond of it either... I have shoveled her an area to go to do her business and then I trampled down a couple little paths for her. She didn't really seem to care. I wish I could send her out back, which is fenced in, but I have raccoons living under the deck back there. They are twice the size of her, so I worry about her safety. It is better that I just take her out. Hope everyone is staying warm and safe.

Comment by Marsha H on December 29, 2012 at 2:28pm

Stacey ....  I had a good laugh about you feeling like taping the baby and dog to the ceiling.  I know moving is really a lot of work. Oh boy, lazy susan cabinet and a garbage disposal ... you are spoiled girl, but you deserve it!

Hugs

Marsha

Comment by Marsha H on December 29, 2012 at 2:26pm

Dixie ...  Amen!  Thanks for the prayer!

 

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