Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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Latest Conversations: Oct 10

This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


Discussion Forum

Navigating Widow-hood

Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Terry Kent Mar 7, 2022. 6 Replies


Started by Julie. Last reply by DJ Dec 6, 2020. 1 Reply

Grief so great it hurts

Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Diamond Jan 31, 2020. 13 Replies

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Comment by Diane on November 4, 2009 at 12:52pm
I lost my husband and best friend on 1/6/09. It's been almost a year now and the pain is still as intense as the day it happened. I still don't understand what happened and have tried in vain to figure it out. All I am left with is more unanswered questions and more pain. For some dumb reason, my husband decided to start smoking meth. He ended up killing himself, me and his family. We have not been the same since and we all seem to be falling apart. All the anti depressants in the world can't stop the hurt and the pain.

My condolences to you who are going through the same thing. Losing a love one is very hard.
Comment by Mary Kay on November 2, 2009 at 9:57pm
I lost the love of my life on 9-19-09. On that date my love, my best friend, my world of 24 years died peacefully in my arms. He had fought COPD for years. Nineteen days before he died he had gotten burned, his body fought hard to heal itself. His heart, however, could fight no longer. That day part of my heart died along with him. Work fills my days but my nights are so lonely. I never knew the sound of lonliness could be so deafening. My daughter does her best to try and help me cross each bridge. Yet, the bridges she crosses losing a father are not the ones I cross losing a spouse. So most of my journeys through this darkness have been alone. God knows I cry alot and I feel so totally lost. I have to wonder if the pain will ever end. I do not believe it will ever get better as everyone keeps saying. It may grow easier to deal with but my love is gone so, it can never get better!
Comment by Sandy Bernard on November 2, 2009 at 12:39pm
I lost my husband one month ago. He was the love of my life and for the past 30 years we enjoyed life and lived well. That was our "motto". I miss him, especially at night. Each day comes with new challenges, something new breaks, decisions need to be made. I feel so lucky to have had him in life, I can't do anything but continue to love my family and continue living as he would want me to! Remember the good times!! Cry when you need to! Support your children and grandchildren through their grief as it will help you thorugh yours.
Comment by julie thomas on October 29, 2009 at 10:19pm
i understand exactly how you feel. i lost my husband of 32 years almost 2 years ago. i went through what your feeling now, i used to not care if i died or not, i look back at that sometimes and i dont feel that way now, i do care, i have grandbabies and my daughter whom i love and cannot leave them, but for a long time, at least a year, i didnt care. it does get better eventually, but it is a long road. i am sorry for your loss, it is probably the most painful thing that will happen in your life, i know it is with mine. it is very hard, you feel you've been cut in half and there is a very big part of you missing. you have to only take one moment at a time. you are here for a reason, as i am. i'm not really sure what that is, but i know it to be true. please, allow yourself time, dont worry about anyone else, only you can take care of you. hang in there, i will be here if you need me
Comment by ted hausermann on October 27, 2009 at 11:05pm
i understand how you all feel i lost my wife of 12 years together 18 about 2 weeks ago everyone tells to hang in there things get better but they have someone to come home to i dont so how are things going to be better it really sucks to wake up in the morning you realize no one is there so how does it get better you really miss someone when they are gone and it does hurt i dont care what anyone says because it does i thought about ending my own life that will make it all right
Comment by Tresa Sampson on October 25, 2009 at 12:40am
I lost the love of my life on August 13, I really don't know how to go on. He was my everything, We had been together 12 yrs married for 8 of those. We were never blessed with a child, but, my two beautiful daughter's he helped me raise will always remember everything he ever taught them. He was a Sgt. in the MARINE corp, he served from 1978-1984, he was so proud of that.
Comment by stu on October 24, 2009 at 11:32pm
I just lost my beautiful wife of 26 1/2 years to metastatic inflammatory breast cancer on Oct. 17th. It only took this insane form of cancer 6 weeks to rob her of life. She had thousands of friends,and was the sweetest most loving person ever. I am crushed. I cant go into our bedroom anymore. I miss my best friend terribly. I cant figure out how to go on without her. I am sick with sadness. I hate how quiet the home we built (and she filled with love) has become.
She blessed us with two great sons. They seem to have found thier own peace with this tragedy. To any woman reading this please get a mammogram,if you have not done so already.
Comment by BoLynn on October 24, 2009 at 9:32pm
Just a thought.....If a person can die of a broken heart, why am I still alive?
Comment by Deean on October 24, 2009 at 12:22pm
I too have lost the love of my life after 8 short years of the greatest time of my life. He and I fit together like the many puzzels we worked together. We had been in bad marriages and some how we found each to begin the best years of our lives. It was a sudden death and I am having a really hard time of it. He was all I prayed for. I prayed to have one great relationship before I died and my prayer was answered. Being human it just wasn't long enough. We had such great plans for the future. All gone now. I do miss him so................ I have the urge to tell every couple I see to enjoy every minute because you never know when it will be taken away. So many people waste so much time not being happy with their spouse. If I could only make them understand.
Comment by Margaret Clare Sanders on October 20, 2009 at 12:12pm
Hi Lorrie
Please accept my condolences on the suddden and unexpected tragic loss of your husband.
The jealousy thing is very real for me. I see couples who are really getting up in years and they look so happy and contented and I feel it is unfair that my darling died before he retired and we could not spend our later years together.
Sometimes I see couples that clearly are not in good health and I find myself criticising them unfairly.
The truth of the matter is that none of us know the why of any of it. We just have to accept it as a fact.
It is only natural to feel envious. The world is very much like Noah's Ark and it is hard to be alone. Be kind to yourself. Stay strong. He would want that for you.

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