Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


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Comment by Steve G. on December 19, 2019 at 12:37pm

Christmas will be me and Chuck, no tree, just candles in the window and a wreath on the door.  This year will not do turkey or ham.  Instead, we splurged for two nice steaks.

New year's eve we will watch the festivities on TV.

We all deal with this time of the year as best we can.

It passes and each new day is a gift.

Comment by Mary. Jane on December 19, 2019 at 11:16am

No, Virginia’s..everyone is NOT spending the holidays as Madison Avenue would have you believe, swilling eggnog, carving a turkey, opening gifts, as they watch the gentle snow fall. 

I too, will be alone with my cat on Christmas Eve, and day...I also have two tiny trees, (and a wreath that was a gift on Thanksgiving).

I was GOING to buy a small tree for this new dwelling..but it just seemed like too much I didn,t.I still have moving boxes unpacked as my energy level tanked, so I sure as hell didn,t  have the fortitude to decorate a tree.LOL

You are not alone...a large percentage of people are just like us...we are spoon fed a diet of a fantasy Christmas by the media...when truth be told, it just isn,t like that for so many people. 

Yes, this year I will be near my daughter but we have no plans,at Christmas, as we are attending an out of town wedding two days after Christmas..but on the 24th and 25th I too, will be alone. So let’s all,Post HERE  on those days..for (pardon my pun) “comfort and joy” Maybe we can get our kitties to FACE TIME with each tho I doubt they would be interested.Lol.

Comment by Marsha H on December 16, 2019 at 4:31pm

Steve ...  Thanks so much for the recipe for pear cake.  It sounds so delicious and I'll follow what you recommend.



Comment by Steve G. on December 16, 2019 at 1:20pm

P.S. It was deliciously decadent.

Comment by Steve G. on December 16, 2019 at 9:08am
Comment by Steve G. on December 16, 2019 at 8:44am


Pear Cake
3 large egg
2 cups sugar
1-1/2 cups vegetable oil - I chose to use 1 cup (which makes batter stiffer)
3 cups all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon baking soda
1-1/2 cups finely chopped peeled pears (about 2 medium)- I substituted 4 pears, boiled and mashed made about 2 cups and when added to batter it had a better consistency.
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Glaze (I decided not to use)
1-1/4 cups confectioners' sugar
2 tablespoons whole milk
In a large bowl, beat eggs on medium speed. Gradually add sugar and oil; beat thoroughly. Combine the flour, cinnamon, salt and baking soda; add to egg mixture and mix well. Stir in pears and vanilla. (The batter will be stiff, mine was not.)
Spoon or pour into a greased and floured 10-in. tube pan. Bake at 350° for 60-65 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. Let cool in pan 10 minutes before inverting onto a serving plate.

I did not use the glaze
In a small bowl, combine the confectioners' sugar and milk; beat until smooth. Drizzle over warm cake. Cool completely.

Comment by Marsha H on December 14, 2019 at 5:23am

Mary.Jane ...  We're going to make up a special diploma for you, frame it and send it to you.  LOL  Seriously, love your posts and you often make me laugh.  If it weren't for you kicking butt around here then people wouldn't be posting so much.

Big hugs


Comment by Marsha H on December 14, 2019 at 5:22am

Steve ...  That pear cake sounds so delicious and one of my favorite fruits.  If it turns out (I'm sure it will) could I have the recipe PLEASE! 


Your Sis Marsha

Comment by Mary. Jane on December 13, 2019 at 11:02pm

Awwww, I love it here.*

*note: experts agree this is the shortest post Mary Jane has ever made here. 

Comment by Steve G. on December 13, 2019 at 6:36am

My Dear Family,

Thank you one and all for your positive thoughts and energy, I tend to hold things in until It just comes spilling out.  Posting here helped more than me actually telling my biological family and that is sad in a different way.   Chuck and I made Christmas cookies yesterday for those within our little circle of friends here in Arlington.  Today I am going to make a pear cake (1st time) with a drizzle of icing. 

I am actually OK with the procedure because it will make my quality of life much better.

Love to one and all, Merry Christmas and Happy New year!



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