Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


Discussion Forum


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Comment by Mary. Jane on March 28, 2019 at 10:50am

I am sorry you both feel lonely at times. For some reason, I don,t feel overly “lonely” per say...I miss Bob, and lately I am very angry that he left me here all alone...cuz I don,t know how to drive,  so I am pretty much stuck at home...but my kitty REALLY helps most  loneliness I might feel. He doesn,t act like a regular cat..more like a’s wonderful!  I live in TERROR as he gets older..and also n terror that something will happen to my daughter, Melinda...but coming here helps me know I am not alone in my grief and anger. My daughter calls me every night on her drive home from work, and we talk for about 45 mins each night. Maybe that is a big help to me not feeling lonely, as I know I have her and she loves me and cares about me unconditionally. She, and Rudy my kitty are basically saving my life.

It,s kind of nice to know when I come here, I am not the only one in pain..and I like hopefully helping others get thru the horrid times.

Comment by Marsha H on March 28, 2019 at 4:17am

Deborah P ...  It's great seeing you post.  Yes, I too am lonely and I try hard every single weekend to make something pleasant happen if only one day out of the weekend.  I'm hanging in there, but life sure can be a pain.

I hope this post finds you in fairly good spirits and trust me, I get the loneliness part.



Comment by deborah peck on March 27, 2019 at 11:42pm

I don't get on here very much anymore, it just reminds me of how hard this is and how lonely I am. I do think of you all though and catch some of your post, hope everyone is doing well

Comment by Marsha H on March 25, 2019 at 5:08am

Mary.Jane ...  Thanks so much and day by day I'm feeling a little better.  I am out and about and as long as I keep moving doing errands I can manage, but OMG, once home I am so warn out and have to take a nap.  This getting old isn't for sissies.  LOL  

I don't get the flu shot either.  My retired doctor and another doctor said it was better to build up your own immune system unless you had diabetes or other types of diseases that called for the flu shot.  I've heard by the time one gets the flu shot it's already mutated.

Thanks also about my Tootsie girl.  She, of course is a link to Ernie.  She is frisky off/on so it's not time, but there are times I feel it is time for her and my nerves are on top of my skin.  I think all us pet owners worry about that day and it's never easy.

Thanks for caring my friend.



Comment by Mary. Jane on March 24, 2019 at 12:10pm again..MARSHA I forgot to say how sorry I am u got that flu! A close friend got it and it is REALLY bad! I hope you are feeling better each day.

I have never had a flu shot..Bob would get one every year,but I DIDN,t trust them. So I try to b careful in public,I really don,t go out much, when I do I wear those disposable gloves at stores etc.I even wear them to my monthly Bunko game and roll the dice with them on. The best thing about getting old is you don,t much give a rats A$$ what people think. LOL within reason.

Comment by Mary. Jane on March 24, 2019 at 12:01pm

Steve, I never received that email from Chuck..even checked my junk mail on the “big” computer. 

Trina, what a nice photo! 

Marsha..I know you must be so upset about Tootsie...that is my second biggest fear, havingmy 10 ty old kitty get sick and die...he is my world here.  I know cats can live longer now, but I follow him all over the house, he is my constant companion...and hislittle world has been so scrambled, What with us packing, and purging all the stuff accumulated over 50 years...Melinda was here for a week, and she did some serious cleaning...places I can,t reach etc...and we semi staged the house to list very soon.

Sara..I think this has just been a strange time for everyone..nothing seems familiar with weird weather, and and the world in general. I don,t know if that is just us, or if everyone is experiencing this...I just seems like there are so many changes in just a few weeks..the time chance, unpredictable weather, packing or tossing out my former life, searching for a new one, and little things like canceling Direct TV after 15 years...LOL...they raised my bill to $130 a month!!!  So now I had to learn Sling and other stuff...but this stuff seems to b happening to everyone Dylan sang “The Times, they are a changin”. I even got an IPHONE...I have NO IDEA how to use it, and I don,t much like it...but when I move, I will need a good phone until I get a landline..BTW...if u need a good phone, and are a Senior, I would recommend Consumer Cellular...only $200 for an IPHONE 6 and $15-20 a month! I rarely use it...but my SIL paid $800 for a 10 and she has no idea how to use it...worse than me.LOL can ALWAYS come here...sometimes I don,t come until I see someone has posted, cuz I get emails... but this month most of them went to my junk folder which never happened B4...

then when I do come..seems like I can never keep it simple..I just blather on and on in these ridiculous long posts. Ok, bye kids.

Comment by Marsha H on March 24, 2019 at 4:38am

Dear Steve ...

I am so happy to hear you are feeling much better.  My apologies for not contacting you and Chuck for such a long time, but things have not been good at my end so I prefer to email when I'm in a better frame of mind, but I always think of my 2 special brothers.  

Love & Hugs


Comment by Marsha H on March 24, 2019 at 4:37am

My dear friend Trina ...

What a beautiful picture of you and Joseph.  He is tall like my 
Ernie.  You so eloquently expressed how you felt missing Joseph and I feel the same without my Ernie.  My friends keep wanting me to go on online dating, but I just can't seem to take the step to do it. 

How wonderful that the student called you just when you needed someone the most and so happy you were blessed by going out for dinner and celebrating Joseph's birthday.  I know he was smiling and proud of you.  It makes me wonder if Joseph didn't set this up.

We do still miss our spouses and I find I'm extremely lonely at times while other times I enjoy my own company.  I am not really looking towards spring or summer as you see so many couples together; some going on holidays and so happy and a rush of memories come back to me when Ernie and I use to go on short trips and had so much fun.  It seems one's world just get's smaller when a beloved spouse has passed away. 

I hope your days are more peaceful my friend and that you smile more than having tears in your eyes.

Love & Hugs


Comment by Marsha H on March 24, 2019 at 4:31am

Diane C ...  So nice to hear from you and how sweet of you to ask how we are doing.  I apologize to all here for not commenting sooner, but I've had that really bad flu and the dregs of it last for 6 weeks total.  I was one sick puppy and live alone, but thankfully my girlfriend and my great neighbors next door were very helpful.  I detest being ill (not that often) as I felt so safe when Ernie was around.  I am sure all of you can relate to that.  

Our weather here has been a mixed bag and although we are getting quite of bit of sunshine the breeze is still quite cool and the evenings very cool (I do love cool nights for sleeping.  LOL)

I also have been having problems with my 16 year old little dog Tootsie and so far she isn't sick enough to be put to sleep, but getting a little senile (it's the blind leading the blind between the 2 of us.  LOL)  She is of course on borrowed time and I'm just enjoy her as much as I can.  She's quite the trooper though and I will know when the time is right.  

My nephews who live just 1 1/2 blocks from me have found a better house to rent closer to their parents and a fair distance from me so I'm really going to miss them and feel like an orphan being stuck here.  

It has not been a good start for me for the beginning of the year, but I'll survive.  Now it's catch-up time now that my energy level is coming up, but still napping a lot re the flu.  

I hope Cheryl you are doing well and life is good to you my friend.

Love & Hugs


Comment by Sara Murphy on March 22, 2019 at 11:29am
Diane, I had actually been thinking about posting the same question....where is everyone? Thanks for beating me to it. This week has been crazy at work. My mind is mush by the time I get home. I too miss reading everyone's comments. Gives me hope for the future.

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