Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

Members: 1376
Latest Conversations: Sep 29

This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


Discussion Forum

Grief so great it hurts

Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Diamond Jan 31. 13 Replies

Navigating Widow-hood

Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Michele Jul 21, 2019. 5 Replies

Finding the new normal

Started by Sharon Kinsey. Last reply by Frances C Younger Jun 24, 2019. 12 Replies

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Comment by Carol Kayser on December 25, 2013 at 12:33pm
To everyone here on the site my wishes for a Merry Christmas, some joy in this most special of days, and peace for 2014.

Comment by Marsha H on December 25, 2013 at 3:22am

To All my friends on this forum ...  I wish you peace, the feeling of love this Christmas Season and I pray 2014 will be a much better year for all of us.

Love, peace and many hugs


Comment by Marsha H on December 25, 2013 at 3:21am

Diane C ...  I am so sorry you are having a rough time.  I feel myself that Christmas is such a difficult time of year as it's suppose to be blessed for what we have (irony for all of us) along with love and sharing with our spouses.  Now we are dealing with grief and feel lost in a strange land where nothing seems to make sense.  Sometimes I get angry and other times I find some sense of peace.  What a roller coaster ride!  Your mother is right that time does soften the heartache, but we will never forget our spouses no matter which way fate leads us.

I understand how you feel appearing somewhat happy for the sake of others yet our inner selves are in an emotional turmoil.  I just had two different buffets and part of me enjoyed it, yet part of me I had my mind on Ernie not being here and my heart hurt.  I went through the motions, but still believe we have to try and it will get easier as time does pay.  Yes, the word 'time' makes us detest the word, but it's true ... time is a healer, but does not resolve the total issue with grieving.

I am so proud of you for picking up the pace for dinner and you do what I do ... keep busy.  I do hope that part of most of your Christmas will be comforting having family around.



Comment by Marsha H on December 25, 2013 at 3:14am

Mark ...  Being alone is when all of us think of our spouses and I'm so sorry you're having a rough time.  Even for those with spouses and family the holiday season can be very emotional and for us, we have grief on top of it.  I think deep down all of us wish we were with our spouses, but I keep telling myself there has to be some reason we were left behind.  I know we go on in their memory, but at least for myself I feel cheated ...  with my parents passing away, my husband's parents gone and now Ernie, I feel all have gone on a beautiful eternal vacation free of worry and pain and left me behind.  Sometimes I get down right angry and sometimes things are clear to me that there is life after the death of a spouse.  I am praying for all of us that we find some peace and joy in 2014. 

If you keep coming on this forum or emailing even we will all get through this. 

I hope that you have some peace over the Christmas Holidays Mark.

Comment by Mark Jackson on December 24, 2013 at 7:14pm

Not a good day today. It's been 3 months since Cathy went to be with her mom and dad. I thought that with working today it wouldn't be that but, I had to drive about 250 miles and that just gave me a lot of time to think about every thing that happened that day. I'm miss her so much. Every day I wake up I wonder why I'm still here, and think I'm one more day  closer to being with her again, and I can't wait for that day.

To every body here have a Merry Christmas and I pray for peace, and comfort for every body in the new year.

Comment by Diane C on December 24, 2013 at 9:46am

Thank you Barbara. That helped more than you know. I woke up this morning with a lighter heart. So I am hoping I resolved some of my feelings last night, I am sure with Rich's help. We are experiencing blizzard conditions right now. And of course I am worried about my daughter coming home from a night in Erie last night and then my brother is coming in from Pittsburgh. We are only expected to get a couple of inches of snow, but I still worry. But, it is beautiful to see snow on Christmas Eve. Take care Barbara, and Merry Christmas to you and your family.

Comment by Barbara Sullivan on December 24, 2013 at 7:14am

Dear Diane C-- you have been such a strength and help to me and I am so very sorry to hear that you are having a bad time, now.  It has been 8 months since Chris passed, and sometimes when I read that it has been a year or 2 years or even 4 years from someone here on Legacy, I think, "Oh, no!  How will I make it through the coming years without him."  But, you all tell me, and show me, that it is  day-by-day.

I am beginning to understand that time does NOT heal this pain -- but that it becomes part of my life experience -- part of who I am --

Take comfort, Diane, in knowing that you have made a difference, for me, and for others on Legacy.  I know its not enough -- but its something.  

Comment by Marsha H on December 24, 2013 at 5:27am

I came across this link and thought it may be of help to my American friends here:  It's about 'what is the new healthcare system.'

Comment by Diane C on December 23, 2013 at 9:53pm

Hi to all my wonderful friends and family here on Legacy. I am so sorry to have been absent for so long. I am having such a rough go of it this year. Just when you think, you are getting on the right track, damn... if the train doesn't move on to another track. This is my 2nd Christmas without my beloved husband. I think this year is so much worse than last year because he was only gone for 4 months last year. I was still deeply affected by the "fog state" that we are in. Please don't get me wrong, it was still so very hard then,  but this year is far worse for me. I was driving home from work this afternoon, bawling like never before. Begging Rich to come get me. I had to take my Mom (80 in January) shopping. My heart wasn't in it, but we had a nice time. She is a widow and truly understands. We had a talk about how hard this is. She assured me, that the pain does get softer. I will be entertaining my family tomorrow. (I volunteered, because being busy, keeps my mind busy) so, I hope my plan works.

I wish for all of you a blessed Holiday and good times and great memories with your family and great friends. I am so blessed to have found this site and such great FRIENDS!!!! I hope to be more active on here in 2014.

Love and Peace to each and every one of you!!!!

Comment by Helen Duncan Hutchinson on December 23, 2013 at 4:56pm

susa   Make the most of having your familly there.   They are a gift most previous at this time.   Bless you all.



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