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Comment by judy larimer on August 6, 2010 at 12:47am

Hi my name is Judi & I lost my mom 5&1/2 yrs ago. She went into the hospital for back pain, & they said she had gallstones. After much consideration & praying my mom decided 2 have the surgery. We thought we did everything right & asked all the right questions of the Dr. Turns out that they did it lapascporly(sorry for the spelling new to computer so I don't know how to do spellcheck) & did u notice I said they? Well the Dr. let his intern do the cutting, which he should have told us when we were questioning him! Anyway they said the tool they use to cut is like a laser & it arcked & put a hole in her intestines. My mom got septic & suffered for 7 & 1/2 months in ICU she suffered a lot she went thru numerios seizures, dialisis, coma,heart failures,blood tranfusions, feeding tubes,iv's & more. After a few weeks I knew she couldn't make it, it was just too much on her...my mom didn't have a living will & did not think about singing a DNR order which means do not resusitate..her oldest daughter would not let her go & if 1 family member says no then they by law have to try to keep them alive...Drs., nurses, chaplain, & priest said it was using extrodinary measures to keep her going thru all that but the daughter & her children would not let her go in peace...Sitting doing a death vigil is very tiring for that length of time...I would go to the hospital at 6am & leave @ 7 if she showed up for a couple of hours, I only live 5 mins from the hospital, but if she didn't show I would stay until 9pm then the nurses would make me leave. After a while some of them would let me stay all night, & if my mom was having a bad day or night, & they wouldn't let me stay I sat on the floor right outside the ICU or layed down on the floor of the waiting room. Thank GOD for my sweet understanding husband!! 1 time over a week went by where her other daughter never showed up or even called to check on her!! She said when I finally heard from her that she was having back spasems, Anyway my mom died with my arms around her while I also sustioned blood spurting out of her mouth... my grief, anger, & resentment towards my mom the Drs. & her other daughter has not lessened yet. I miss my mom every day & talk to her all the time. that's my story..very long but I have never written any of this down before, I have been to a shrink,(I can spell that) a counselor, & grief support group where I was the only one to show up twice so I discontinued that..