suicide's survivors

talk to other survivors of loved ones that took their life and learn how to cope with everyday life, how to carry on,try to understand and know why you feel the way you do.

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Comment by Carin~ Cody's Mom on May 23, 2012 at 1:00pm

I have found my keys in the fridge. I have walked away from open doors. I can't remember phone numbers addresses. I'll leave a room with a task on my mind as soon as I leave the room it's gone can't remember what i was doing. I quit I really good very well paying job because I felt like I didnt know how to do it anymore. I thought I was doing them a favor. I walk around in a trance somedays.

Comment by Theresa Sweaney on May 22, 2012 at 3:20pm

Me too, Joyce.  To the point that I wonder if it is normal grieving, or something physical wrong.  I keep being reassured that it is normal, so I will give it a second year to process before I think otherwise.  I have always been a good speller, or remember people's names, but I have consistent difficulty with even the things that I excelled at before.  Give it a couple years to level out and then see, is what I'm thinking.

Comment by Christine Bastone on May 22, 2012 at 1:20pm

Yes Joyce...I also experience "brain freezes".  Although actually mine feels more like a fog.  It's very difficult for me to focus and concentrate...and I almost drove out of the driveway without my son one day when I was taking him and his sister to school.  I know there are more examples...I just can't think of them right now!!!  And I feel it's grief too. 

Comment by Joyce M Rubacky on May 22, 2012 at 12:58pm

Is anyone else experiencing "brain freezes"?  I always thought I had my thoughts, ideas and "things to do" organized in my brain. But, now I feel like all my thoughts are tangled up together and it's hard to separate them!  Words I know how to spell....I now question myself. My head feels muddy! I think some people close to me are wondering if something physical is going on in my brain. I feel it's grief.....but then what do I know!

Comment by melinda on May 21, 2012 at 9:18pm

carin than you so very much words cannot express how much

Comment by melinda on May 21, 2012 at 9:09pm

i dont understand why i get dreaming about him takin the walk from his house to his garage and hanging himself

Comment by melinda on May 21, 2012 at 9:06pm

i lost my brother due to suicide i just cant get over it its so much to whats going on i miss him so much i dont understand why he is gone he was my only brother i grieve actually more than grieve my heart hurts everyday it feels so empty

Comment by Carin~ Cody's Mom on May 21, 2012 at 8:57pm

I don't write much on here i do read all your thoughts. I guess my pain is go great that I too fear I will say the wrong thing. There have been many a nights I sat and read some of the post on here and just balled my eyes out in grief for all my fellow posters. God bless of who have lost loved ones.

Comment by Margo powell on May 21, 2012 at 8:33pm
Carin, I don't really have the answers to your concerns but I believe dealing with a loved ones suicide is more difficult to deal with for a number of reasons. Because you found your son, the images of him haunt you where as most families never see the scene of an accident.
The what if''s and why's are horrible in trying to come to terms with the fact that our loved one chose their demise.
Most people don't know how to respond to the family of one who has chosen to end their life, it's awkward to know how to respond. rather than possibly say the wrong thing, others withdraw and distance themselves. I've found most people withdraw from anything that is uncomfortable for them. I live in Honolulu and I've been told the police sweep Suicides under the rug, as not to alarm the tourists. That's sad that we're more concerned about other's reactions than acknowledging a precious life has been lost. There is also the concern of the contagem that occurs after suicides. We lost several young friend's of my daughters to suicide last year. In one case, the school wanted to honor the student and did address his passing in a school assembly but they were concerned other students might follow his lead. You are right in turning to God for solace and understanding.
Life is difficult enough at times without the compounding complexities of these tragic losses.
I pray for all of you on this sight and anyone suffering from suicide. it plagues me that anyone ever chooses to end their life and leave the wake of grief that their leaving causes. I'm writing a script for an animated movie and that is part of the story lines, that every life has meaning and purpose. I pray that God will use me to influence the world and especially young people for good. God Bless you! Stay strong. Lean upon the Lord for your strength, this world unfortunately disappoints us when we need others the most, God will always be there. Jesus will carry your much of your burden. You will always suffer due to Cody's death because you loved him so much. The refiner's fire is HOT! Thank goodness that life is eternal, as are families! Keep your eyes on the mark and after you have endured this life well God will make all things right!
Comment by Daphne vaughn (Anthony's Mom ) on May 21, 2012 at 8:27pm

dearest Carin,you are so right about the loss of your child to suicide brings your world down around you the pain is unbearable at times, i have so many whys and regrets.i feel your pain .wishing for you some peace,and for all. on this site.big hugs to you .i shall keep you and your family in my prayers as i hope you will for,Daphne


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