suicide's survivors

talk to other survivors of loved ones that took their life and learn how to cope with everyday life, how to carry on,try to understand and know why you feel the way you do.

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Comment by Theresa Sweaney on May 12, 2012 at 2:40am

Mothers Day and Fathers Day holidays are among the most difficult times of year. May the day be a gentle one for each of us.

Comment by Theresa Sweaney on May 8, 2012 at 11:33am
Meliza, I saw this book recommended on one of my grief recovery support group pages. I don't know how young a child this book would be suitable for, but see what you think.  I hope this helps you.

Recommended by The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention

In the United States suicide is the third leading cause of death for those between the ages of 10 and 24 and the second leading cause of death for American college students.

The children's book, My Uncle Keith Died describes the symptoms of depression. It also helps children understand why a depressed person may not seek help. By reading Cody's questions and his mother's answers about his uncle's death, young readers will learn what to do if someone they know shows signs of depression. Early detection, intervention, and treatment for depression are critical for preventing suicides.

My Uncle Keith Died will answer some of these questions: How should I talk to my children about feelings of grief? How should I explain suicide to my children? What is depression? How does depression often lead to suicide? What is the difference between sadness and depression? What are the signs of depression?

At the end of the book there is a discussion guide written by Julianne Cosentino, a licensed clinical social worker. This guide will deal with the type of questions children are likely to ask when their lives have been touched by suicide.
My Uncle Keith Died Purdue University College of Education Magazine Take Note SPEAKING THE UNSPEAKABLE By Kathy Mayer, freelance writer Alumnus, Professors break the silence on suicide When Carol Ilijanich Loehr (BA’65) comes to Purd...
Comment by Daphne vaughn (Anthony's Mom ) on May 5, 2012 at 8:01pm

My heart goes out to you and your babies Meliza,i know it cant be easy for you to find the right words to tell the little ones .my you find some peace will keep all of you in my thoughts and prayers hugs .love Daphne

Comment by Theresa Sweaney on May 5, 2012 at 7:31pm

Bless you heart Meliza and Carin.  You both are dealing with some very hard stuff.  Carin, I feel for you, I can't seem to part with even a scrap of paper that has my son's writing on it.  I'm only a year out from his passing, so I'm taking my time with it (in regards to giving things away), but I sense that I will still have a hard time doing it, no matter when it happens.  Meliza, you may be able to find some materials to help you explain things to your 3 y/o son about his dad.  I will be looking and asking my support groups for any recommendations.  Here is a link that might help you locate something age appropriate. And know that I am sending my prayerful thoughts out to you and for you.  Love, Theresa.

Comment by Daphne vaughn (Anthony's Mom ) on May 5, 2012 at 12:35pm

Bless your heart Carin wish i could give you a big hug just know my thoughts and prayers are with you big hugs. Daphne

Comment by Carin~ Cody's Mom on May 5, 2012 at 11:16am

Cody's furniture left the house today. My Heart is just a solid Rock from all of this. I held so tight to his mattress and cried on it so hard. It was another piece of my son now gone.

Comment by Latisha Webb on May 2, 2012 at 2:43am

Meliza, I totally know how you feel with the hate and anger. I will remember you and your children in my prayers. I was 7 years old when my father took his life. Some people might say to not tell your children about what happened or answer any questions they have about their father, But i am going to tell you from experience, if they ask, tell them. I have lived for 20 plus years now with unanswered questions about my father. I know my family was trying to protect me, but its been a long hard road for me. Still as an adult, I am having problems getting answers to some of the basic questions I have. I know its hard, and there will be harder times to come, but just trust and believe that one day it will be easier. I'm not going to tell you to be strong for your kids, cause that's easier said than done, and grieving has to happen. Bless you and your kids. 

Comment by Joyce M Rubacky on May 1, 2012 at 3:29pm

Meliza, I know the pain you feel is all consuming. It takes over our lives. We try to push it away, but, that's next to impossible. Your anger and hatred is completely understandable. You will be amazed at how many emotions you will go through. Some in just a day! I thought about God, just like you, when my brother shot himself. But, in my mind, I have come to the conclusion.....David made the choices for himself. God had no say in what David would decide to do. David allowed himself to totally disconnect from those who loved him. The disconnect was a way for him to find peace without guilt for what it would do to us. I have said this before on this forum....when my brother decided to take his life, he was not the person I had known for years. His inner pain consumed him.  We are all left to deal with our losses in our own way.  I have a sister-in-law who tells me how she thinks of the funny times spent with my brother. She tells me how she talks with him. That makes me feel guilty since I can not get past his suicide yet. I don't seem to have room in my brain yet to be able think about the "good times".  Actually, the "good times" seem unbearable to think about. As far as talking with him, maybe I don't want to do that because it means he's not here anymore.  Sorry, I did not mean to start rambling on and on. Sometimes that happens when I start typing here. I realize I have a long way to go yet to get over just makes my head start pounding!  My prayers go out to you and your children. So sad...children without their father..

Comment by Carin~ Cody's Mom on April 30, 2012 at 1:56pm

Will anyone on this page be doing the Out of the darkness walk on Sept. 8th In Annapolis, MD? I wanted to form a team but wanted to check to see if any of you have yet.

Comment by Carla on April 30, 2012 at 12:47am

To all who post here - as I have since December 2009 - I still pray for you. I still think of you so often. Today was not a good day for me - I had to go through some of Michael's things. It is jarring and brings back waves of horrible memories and emotion. The tears come again - well they do every day - but more intense. I'm drained. I know I will carry this sorrow for the rest of my life. I continue to try to get up each day and find some happiness - some laughter - I have yet to find joy. We miss our son more than words can tell. I'm so sorry we are all here posting our stories but I know it helps - it has helped me over these 2 1/2 years. Grieving takes a lot of energy and a lot of time. Our culture thinks we should be all better right now and "over it". No one gets over a tragic event like this. So never feel badly or guilty that you should be better or over it by now........ everyone is different - there is no set time or way to grieve. My hope is in seeing Michael again one day - being reunited where there is no pain and no tears for either of us. I wish that for all of you.



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