How to Write a Condolence Note

When someone you care about is grieving, it's hard to find the right words. What should you say in a condolence message? What common sympathy expressions should you avoid? What else can you do to comfort a bereaved friend? To help you support a grieving colleague, friend or family member, Legacy.com offers advice from condolence experts. Click on the links below to learn more about how to write condolence notes, what not to say and more.

What NOT to Say

• What Not to Say and What Not to Do

• The Bereaved Share What Helps and What Hurts

• People Want to Be Helpful, But...

• What Not to Say After a Suicide

• What Not to Say After a Miscarriage

• What Not to Say to Victims of Violence

• Is It Ever Appropriate to Question the Bereaved?

• Making Amends for Something You Said

More Ways to Show Sympathy and Support

• Simple Ways to Show Sympathy

• How to Help a Grieving Friend

• Stand by Their Side

• Simple Gestures Pack a Lot of Punch

• You can Make a Difference in Times of Loss

• Cook up some Comfort Food

• Give the Gift of Listening (here are 7 Ways to Listen Better)

• Empathize, Don't Minimize Loss (are you Empathetic or Sympathetic?)

• Why grief support is important

• A Broken Heart Doesn't Show

• "Tell Me a Story"

• Speak of the Deceased

• Keep in Touch with the Bereaved

• Remember the Anniversary of the Death

• How to Be Supportive from Afar and Show Grieving Relatives You Care When You Are Far Away

• How and when to Involve Your Children in Supporting the Bereaved, Teaching Children to Comfort the Bereaved

How to Write a Condolence Note

• Why Write Sympathy Notes?

• Guide to Writing a Condolence Note

• Writing a condolence note to a Grieving Child or Adolescent

• What Makes a Condolence Note Memorable?

• Is a Sympathy Note Always Necessary?

• Timing Your Condolence Notes and How Late Is Too Late?

• Belated Condolences

• It's Okay to Wait

• It's Never Too Late to Write and Reminisce

• Choosing the right Condolence Stationery

Condolences for Specific Situations

• When Loss Hits the Workplace

• Notifying Coworkers, Friends of a Death

• Sending Condolences from the Group

• What to do When You've Never Met the Deceased or When an Acquaintance Dies

• What to say When Someone Dies Suddenly

• After a Suicide or Teen Suicide

• When a Baby Dies

• How to Be Supportive After a Miscarriage, what to say to someone Grieving Miscarriage

• What to say to a Grieving Spouse

• When Someone's Ex Dies or there was a Rocky Relationship or Difficult Relationship

• When Someone Dies After a Long Life

• What to Say to Someone Who Is Dying

How to Write an Obituary or Eulogy

• Sharing the Gift of Obituaries

• Celebrate Life with Obituaries

• Writing an Obituary

• Obits 101

• In Memoriam Ads

• Giving a Eulogy

• Star Eulogies

Image via stock.xchng / andyreis

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Comment by ELOY CONRAD DURAN II on February 20, 2015 at 11:17am: http://petitions.moveon.org/sign/keep-the-devil-aka-jovani.fb47?sou... LIFE IS TOO SHORT LIVING A NORMAL LIFE, WHEN ANOTHER...TAKES THE LIFE OF A LOVED ONE, MUCH WORSE...SUBJECTIVE, I KNOW...I AM ASKING YOU TO SIGN MY PETITION, JOVANI MUNIZ TOOK MY SON AWAY FROM US, AND FOR HIS PUNISHMENT...HE IS GIVEN A SIX YEAR STAY AT A BOYS HOME WHERE HE GOT A 6 YEAR COLLEGE, UNLIMITED VISITS FROM ANYONE WHO WANTS TO SEE HIM, THE BEST HEALTH CARE, BETTER THAN MINE, ROOM AND BOARD...YOU AND I HAVE PAID FOR HIS EDUCATION, ALL COURTESY OF MURDERING MY PRECIOUS SON ELOY CONRAD DURAN III..THIS PETITION IS TO SAY THIS IS NOT FAIR, THIS IS NOT JUSTICE...THANK YOU FOR SIGNING MY PETITION, GOD BLESS, AND THANK YOU

Comment by Micah on May 26, 2012 at 11:38am: Here's some articles I know should be added to the above list:

Comforting the Terminally Ill

Comfort for Grieving Parents

Coping With the Loss of a Loved One

and for young ones:

How Can I Cope with the Death of a Parent?

I know you'll find these comforting and beneficial if you are suffering loss.

Comment by Marinalva Sickler on April 14, 2012 at 1:06pm: I just joined the group now, however, I have found some comfort for the loss of my husband on Feb. 11 through the Legacy.com and My Memorials and my FB friends. I feel almost unbearable to live without Paul. The emptiness and the senseless surround me and I feel lost and wandering around the tasks and chores of each day.

Comment by Mary on August 15, 2011 at 3:15pm: Lost my mom a yr ago and my dad 10 yrs ago. It feels harder this time with the loss of my mom. Maybe because they are both gone now or maybe it was just as hard 10 yrs ago when my dad went home and I forgot how hard it was.

Comment by Rachelle Manzi on August 15, 2011 at 11:40am: You were my Husband, My Lover, My Best friend, , May you Rest In Peace . My Condolences go out to the Family....He was Truly A Great Man . You will be Missed !

Always

Rachelle (Cheli) Manzi