Losing Someone to Illness

Losing someone you love to illness can be a long and grueling journey. While you may begin to grieve before your loved one dies, grief and mourning can continue long after your loved one's death. If you have lost someone to cancer or other illness, Legacy has resources to help.

Flickr Creative Commons / Grant MacDonald

Join a discussion and talk with others about losing someone to illness. Find a support group, like Caring for Caregivers, or start your own, or get advice from one of our loss and grief experts.

• What to Say to Someone Who Is Dying

• What Is Hospice Care?

• About Hospice

• Paying Tribute to a Dying Loved One

• How Can We Hope When There Is No Hope?

• Faith

The Purpose of Grief and Mourning

• Grief Changes You

• Grief Is a Marathon

The Work of Grief

• The Grief Experience

 Why Don't I Remember the Conversations?

 Make Time for Grieving

 How to Make It Through the Night

• The Little Things We Do Make Us Stronger

• Comfort Quickies: Self Care While Grieving

• Your Spiritual Toolbox

• Laughter in the Face of Tears

• Time Does Not Heal All Wounds

• Moving Forward, Connected Still

Learning to Live Healthily with Your Loss

• You Know You're Getting Better When...

• 'You're Still Going to Grief Support?'

• Emerging from Grief

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Comment by Cynthia Christian on September 29, 2016 at 8:41pm
Nothing can ever truly prepare us for loosing our loved ones. Regardless of sex, race, economic status, or anything else, it's the one thing we all have in common and the one thing non of us can defeat. What we can do is rely upon friends, family, and our belief in our grand creator to get us through the mourning and grief. This world is filled with crime, violence, and disease that is claiming people of all walks of life. However, we can actually find comfort. The Bible assures us that no person is beyond Gods help and that no tragedy is so great that our our Heavenly Father cannot comfort us. 2Corinthians 1:3,4
Comment by Leola Brown on December 8, 2012 at 10:08am
The thing that helped me to cope, is prayer, at times I think why pray, God is not listening. Does he really hear my prayers. But I am snapped back into reality by reading the Bible. You know that at Psalm 65:2 it refers to God as the hearer of prayers. Gods answer to our prayers may come in a variety of ways.

There have been many experiences of individuals who prayed to God for help to understand, and their came a knock at the door or a phone call, God has sent them to answer your prayers, if human intervention is warranted. But sometimes more is needed, that is Holy Spirit, God uses his Holy Spirit to help us cope with trials by giving us guidance and strength by means of it.

Since the Bible is Gods word, this is how he talks to us, how He directs us, reading the Bible, we can be helped to make wise decisions. That's why I found it important to read the Bible daily. For more information please contact me at mmqt@iclouc.com
Comment by Margaret Lopez on November 29, 2011 at 3:41pm

Hello My name is Margaret I joined this grief support group because like you, I have lost dear loved ones in death.  My family seemed to have been dropping off so regularly that i was beginning to think i was next.  Our family have lost 6 very close loved ones back to back I mean months apart 2,4,8 it was crazy our heads are still spinning.......  The only way i could cope was with the support of a loving family, and a loving God.  To see my children see their grandfather, aunts, uncle die was gut wrenching.  When i was younger we only heard of people dying few and far apart, at least that was how it was in my case.  But today things are so different people are dying at a rapid pace that's is one reason the Bible at 1corinthians 15:26 describes death as an enemy.  Its not normal that's not how the original plan was supposed to be. We were created to live forever.  I found much comfort in the promises of our Heavenly Father especially the scripture at Revelation 21:4 where it says" He will wipe out every tear from their eyes and death will be no more neither will mourning or outcry or pain be anymore the former things have passed away". I pray that each one of you find comfort and support from the Holy scriptures. My heart and prayers go out to all of you.  If you would like to talk further please feel free to email me at margaret.lopez48@gmail.com.  I look forward to hearing from you.

 

 

Comment by bridgette williams on November 20, 2011 at 1:05pm

Dear  Neighbors,

My name is Bridgette Williams and I have some important information that I want to share with you. It is my privilege to share in a work that is being done by volunteers in over  236 lands and 500 language worldwide. The death of a loved one is one of the most devastating experience a human can face, at times the loss may seem unbearable, whether it's a child, spouse a sibling a parent or a close friend. But you may ask yourself how can I cope with such great loss and who can I go to for comforted? These question and many more are on people minds daily, like why do people die? will death ever be done away with? and will I ever see my dead love ones again? These question can be find in God's word the Bible, because our Creator understands what we go through and invite us to "while you throw all your anxiety upon him because he cares for you" ( 1 peter 5:7) And 2 corinthians 1:3,4 says " the Father of tender mercies and the God of all comfort...who comforts us in all our tribulation." Do you know that when Jesus friend Lazarus died, at John 5 :33,34 The Bible says "Jesus gave way to tears." how comforting is that! You can read this whole account at John 11 1-35 in your own copy of the Bible. Very soon, death will be no more, neither mourning pain and outcry...the former things have passed away ( Revelation 21:4) The Bible calls death an enemy, so all of us are being pursue by this enemy death. How relieved would you feel  when you know that "As the last enemy death is to be brought to nothing." ( 1 corinthians 15:26) Our Creator has promise, that he will destroy this enemy. There are many people worldwide that benefit from a free program that helps people learn the Bible, My genuinely interested for neighbors and a love for God(1John 4:8)  Encourages me to share what I have learned and helps people through accurate knowledge of the Bible( John 17:3) have a relationship with our Creator Jehovah God ( psalms 83:18) If you want more information, feel free to get in touch with me  through my e-mail (mimidaycare1@yahoo.com) Our work is not commercial... I hope that you receive comfort from reading God's word the Bible, to help you cope with the loss of your loved one...and look forward to the promise "I have hope toward God" "that there is going to be a resurrection of both the righteous and the unrighteous ( Act 24:15)

Comment by Mary Stevenson on October 22, 2011 at 11:42pm

I lost my husband Sept.1st 2011. He had been sick and I was his care giver 24/7. I met him on the internet 10 years ago on a pen pal sight. We wrote back and forth and fell in love. I lived in the States and he lived in Australia. My then 13 year old daughter went with me and we flew to Australia for 7 months. Nine weeks later he followed me to the States. We married in 2003 in the States. Our daughter finished school in the States, got a wonderful job and apt and we went back to Australia to live. That was 2 years ago. I married my soul mate, friend, a gentle man, a loving and caring man. He was who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I did not get that chance. He died at the age of 54. He left me alone and scared. I want him back !! I cry alot again but...... The only thing helping me right now is that I'm going to the States to our daughters wedding. He will not be with us. I will be there a month and I really hope it helps me. I am lost with out him. I know I must be strong but for who?? Me?? I can't anymore and just want to hold him one more time. I know alot of other people have lost a loved one but right now I feel like I am the only one. I am sorry if I upset anyone about saying that... I feel for you too... You hurt just as much as I do. Maybe I can start feeling better by reading some of the post here. I joined for that reason. Thank you for the ear from  a new wife moaning her husband.... Bless it be,,,M

Comment by sharon r zimmer on October 11, 2011 at 6:38pm
i lost my daughter. and a brother its been real hard for me.i cry a lot.im on nerve medecine but the pain dosent go away never. sharon zimmer
Comment by jackie carden on October 7, 2011 at 12:15am
i lost my son june 23 2009 everybody tells me it will get better but it dont im raising his son with act and looks like my son today is my son 32nd b-day and i cant deal with it all i have done is cry but i have to go on for my grandson
Comment by Donna Flanary on January 29, 2011 at 1:18am
I lost my son in a car accident Dec 27,2008.  Presley was my whole life.  He was 28 and always lived at home with me being a single parent.  This past year in May, I found my sister lying on the floor.  She had a heart attack, liver failure and lung failure.  She is living with me and it is so hard.  I am already  grieving over my son and having her here knowing  what is coming is almost too hard to even say.  I am so scared I will find her in the bed dead like I did my first cousin in 2007.  Had so much trama that I can not even think.  I am sick myself and the stress with the fibro is unreal.  I aam so tired but there is no one else to do this.  What should I do?  any suggestions?
Comment by Lorena on February 14, 2010 at 9:43pm
Barbara,

I too feel your pain and sorrow....My boyfriend of 4 1/2 years just passed away from Brain Tumor. He was only 41 yrs old, we have 3 children from previous realtionships. I to am having similar problems but would rather discuss through email. Please send me a message if you would like to talk more in depth...again I am sorry for your loss...
Comment by Barbara Wasilewski on February 7, 2010 at 9:13pm
Watching my husband die from lung cancer was so hard.
But the hardest thing was the dementia he got so suddenly
He was lucky in some ways. Had his right lung removed at Johns Hopkins in 2005. Was in remission for 2 years. In March of 2007 he drove us from Pa. to Florida & back. He wanted to go back in 2008 but the cancer had returned.
He was doing ok until March of 2009. He went down hill every day until Aug when he kept falling so was in a hospital for 2 months & a nursing home for 2 weeks. I wish I could have had him at home but he couldn't stand or walk. I was there every day but 2.
When I think of how he suffered I cry.
I grieved while he was sick and when he passed away on Oct20th 2009 I felt a sense of relief just knowing he was at peace.
I miss him so much but would not want him back like he was. We were married 32 years. Second marriage for both of us. We never had children but he had 4 from first marriage.Two of the have turned against me. They had a cruise booked & the day before they left the nursing home called to say he was not responding. To call his family. I did that but they chose to go on the cruise.He passed away 3 days later. My sister-in-law got in touch with them & they said they were flying home so I made the arrangements. The next day they emailed my sister-in-law to tell her they weren't flying home. I was not asked by them to change the funeral plans till they got home 4 days later so I went ahead with it. Two of his children were there & many friends of ours.
So I have not heard from the two who went on the cruise since Oct.
Has anyone else had problems with relatives?

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