It's been 4 months since I lost the love of my life after 39 yrs. together and 36 yrs of marriage. Christmas was one of my firsts without him..then New year's, Valentine's day, Easter, my birthday, and coming home to an empty house after being away for a while. Is it me or does everyone find it harder each time there is a first? I am worried about the first anniversary in Oct. I think it will be…