At 10:55pm on August 4, 2016, in a comment to Mary Clough, you said: "... I have a question for everybody. Does anyone that lost a spouse, feel like you don't belong? I have told people I feel like I don't belong anywhere..."
I couldn't find a reply button to that comment, and the comment doesn't show up for me in Mary's discussion "Lost My Husband"...
Anyway, I have felt like I don't belong my whole life. My only refuge was with my wife; with her I belonged. She made friends easily; not me, so much. Yet somehow we belonged together. Together in a crowd I'd be in her bubble. We had been together 37 years when she passed.
It's not that people exclude me, or that I exclude myself. Our adult children included us in everything, and still do. It's just that I cannot carry a small-talk conversation, so I must make socializing awkward. Still, that sense of not belonging makes for short engagements and quiet exits, and perhaps even unnoticed exits.
I constantly talk to my wife - out loud. I regularly attribute good things happening to me to her, like finding misplaced items or managing to keep my mouth shut when an "I told you so" is bursting to get out. Of course I thank her, out loud. If anybody were to catch me I'd just claim to be talking to the pets, as everyone talks to the pets. Nevertheless, I've become quite comfortable in this new bubble; even if nowhere else, in this bubble I belong.
I hope you can make a bubble in which to belong, and eventually to feel you belong in all those other circles that family and friends are making around you.