Agnes, first of all I'm sorry about you losing your mother. When I read your story, it sounded like I wrote it!! I lost my mother August 27th 2008. She died from complications from heart surgery. I was there when she died, she was sedated but like you I oftern wonder if she was scared when she died. I think of her every single day. I have 4 brothers and no sisters so you can imagine how close we were me being the only girl. Now that she is gone, my whole family is looking to me to keep the family going. It is very hard, people think that since a year has passed, I should be okay. I am not okay, I miss my mom so much I think I am losing my mind!! My dad depends on me heavily for all of the family get togethers when in reality I just don't want to have them anymore because my mom is not here. Sorry this is so long, but I know excactly how you feel.
I just recently lost my mom. She died on June 30th 2009. I miss her a lot. I am having a real hard time. She lived in TN she had been in and out of the hospital for months. I 2 had to tell her by phone it is ok I know you are tired. We will be ok . That is what my brain says but my heart is NOT ok. I got the call from my step dad 4 hours after I had told her that. She was gone my whole world was lost. I know she is in a better place she is not in pain or suffering. But I want her here I want her with me . I know exactl y how you feel
I Know you do not know me and I am sure you here this all the time, I am so sorry for your loss.My mom passed away in 1996, She had lung cancer, my mom and my dad came to live with me in February 4,1996 so we could help my dad take care of her. I watched this woman who was so strong, do he best she could to stay with us all the treatmants and meds.I to thought I was selfish I wanted her to stay I wanted more time. On June 11, 1996 the hospise nurse came to the house to see her she told me it would not be long I remember saying not yet I want more time. Then on June 13,1996 I whisperd in her ear and told her that things were going to be alright and that if she needed to go I would be ok, about 5 minutes after I told her this I watched her take her take last breath.I miss her so much, what I really want to tell you is never feel selfish, because she was your mom and yet we have a special bond with our dads, our moms will always be our friend. And friends are forever. Take care of yourself she would want that.