January 29th 2016 marked 1 year without Tim. 

Tim's mom Arlis and I visited his site with his sister and brother-in-law, Dawn & Ed.   Mom planned the route: stop at the Dollar Store first.  For a split second I thought what, why, huh, dollar store flowers, really?  This just shows how little I know about losing someone and how much more practical someone who has…

I haven't logged onto this site for a while but Heatha was kind enough to send me a nice note in hopes I'm doing alright. 

I really appreciate that. 

And the answer is I'm doing okay : )  

I will check in here from time to time to at least view from the sidelines (modus cottidianus) but I'm at a point where I want to…

Today marks 6 months. 

I am going to commemorate it by eating the other half of a frozen pizza Tim had made himself from scratch, dough and sauce to boot.  I found it last week.  It'll probably taste like a mastodon chipped from the tundra of Siberia but throwing it out just doesn't seem right.  Too salty for the vegetable garden compost, certainly not something the dogs may have ("no means no"), so I'll eat it.  If I'm unpleasant to be around while I do…

I went to an actual social function yesterday evening. 

I went alone.

It was weird. 

It was also liberating.  Maybe 'liberating' isn't the right word... 'defining' maybe? 

This was the first time I've done anything social since his open house non-memorial memorial party in March.  I haven't wanted to see anyone because the one person I want to see more than any other is gone, therefore I want nobody.  That's a dangerous logic. 

It was a garden party…