Hello Antonia - Glad to hear from you. I am so sorry to hear about all the losses that have happened and so fast. My goodness. I lost my mother 10 years ago and just within the past five years I started to heal. I wish I had known about this website back then, but I guess I was trying to hold my own. My attitude at life got the best of me and I lost friendship with friends and broken relationships with my family. My mother and I had harsh words and when she passed away it was like bricks just came tumbling down on me. I tried to fix situations in my life and dug a deeper hole to fall in. I had to go down the road the hard way, but once I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that God was the one to guide me through healing I gave my hurts, sorrows, anger, etc. to Him. I thought that going to my mother's grave every weekend (if it did not rain or I was sick) I would heal, but it just made me so tired in my body and feeling lonely, and yes I just wanted to sleep but couldn't because I still had a job to go to. But God being as merciful and gracious as He is allowed me to finished a poetry book that I had started just before my mother passed away. For some reason I did not even know why I was writing so much poetry especially because I do not know how to write poetry. But God allowed me to write my book for a reason. As I read the book it tells of my inner soul and the pain and healing. We all go through seasons in our life. It's how we handle those season. Do we handle them or do we allow God to handle them? The storms of life can become big waves but we have to believe and know that God is riding the waves with us and He will not let us sink. So hold on to God and trust and believe in Him that He will give you that sleep that you so much need. Just let Him know how you are feeling and trust Him to allow the healing process to continue with you. Have you gone to any grief support workshops or meetings. I will be going to one in February. Take care.
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