"I definitely know how you feel, my daughter killed herself at the age of 15. I hear songs or see movies I know she would have loved.. it hurts. I have stayed close to many of her friends and even was invited to one of her friends…"
Hey Avis, yes we do need to stick and grieve together. i didnt go to identify my brother but my other sister did. and to this day she stills has nightmares of that day. i cant nearly imagine that image. i do still think about him but not as everyday like i use to...... is that bad? :( i know he would want me to continue life and watch over his kids. which i keep in contact with them. he doenst come out in my dreams like he use to but recently he came into my friends dream saying hes ok and shit happens. lol i found that so funny cuz it def sounds like something he would say. So i know it was really him in that dream. :) i miss him soo much still........
Hi Avis.... thanks for requesting me. Its has gotten easier i got to say. He stopped coming into my dreams, but my friend called me and said she had a dream with him. It brought me joy to hear that. He came to her cuz she couldnt make it to his wake and he was mad at her. lol so one day im going to take her to the cementary so she can pay her respect. :) its gonna be 5 months and i rem everything like yesterday how it all went down. i try not to think about it but it comes and goes. i think of good thoughts and the time we spent together. :) I miss him soo much.......
Hi Avis. I too have a problem but it is at church services, believe it or not. There are times that I just break down. Thank the Lord for my friends at church. I am not sure why but I guess it is a good thing as teas are cleansing. I cry when I hear the song "wind beneath my wings" Marlene danced with her step father (my late husband) at her wedding for that song and when the city dedicated a ball field in Robert's name, a friend of my then son in law sang the same song.
So sorry about your Daughter Robi, such a pretty girl. My Husband's Sister also took her life in 1980 at the age of 30, another of his cousins took an OD, but called for help and a second cousin 14 years old who had been seeing a threapist took her life by hanging herself, I'm thinking that someday they will find in family lines that heredity also has something to do with suicide. Again I'm so sorry for your loss. I have no children, but have 7 dog some inside and outside and also some cats so they keep me company and are my family! :)
Avis, I am so very sorry about your daughter, Jessica. 2009 must still feel like yesterday to you. What is time really when you lose a child? They say time will heal....I think with time we just "learn to cope" and learn to tuck things away.
When you wrote about the steps your daughter took that day, I felt this connection with you. I have played the scene over and over again in my mind. My brother writing a note in the kitchen asking for someone to "cash a check asap". Knowing he had to go downstairs and then outside to the garage. Write a suicide note, pick up the gun, load it... All those opportunities to just walk away and not go through with it. He could have stopped at any time. How devastating it is for those of us left behind, never able to understand the pain our loved ones were going through. Again, you have my most sincere sympathy. ~Joyce
Thank you for your note today Avis. I'll take it as a prompt to give them a call now. Evidence Dept said they didn't have it, so I'll try and find the name of the detective that handled my son's investigation and see if that yields any results. I see your daughter Robbi's photo and she was a beautiful child. So very sorry for your loss. Thank you for reaching out to me today. Today is my son's birthday.. my first birthday of his without him. His little brother and I will celebrate it together this evening. Take care, and talk to you again some time. Theresa