There it is - the thing you are not suppose to say in polite society. My brother in law who lost my sister 16 years ago called me and said, "It bites, doesn't it?"
Yeah, it bites. It bites at your heart on a daily basis and twists your insides into knots. It gnaws at you thinking of everything left undone, unsaid, if you gave enough...and feeling horribly like you didn't.