It's been a year (yesterday) that my Dad followed his bride - my Mom - home to heaven, he only waited 10 days to join her. I thought I would never get over such a huge loss in my life and there were parts of me that wanted to go too, the grief was so strong. Today I still miss my parents, many times wish I could visit them again, share something special with them, or just talk something out with them, but I know I'm not ready to join them yet and have more happy days than sad, more smiles than tears and when I think of them I feel so grateful for the many years God allowed us to spend together here on earth instead of the overwhelming heartache of loosing them. It is getting better, my heart is healing. My parents taught me so much about life, love, God, and being strong and I will forever hold them close in my heart. I love you, Mom and Dad. We always said it wouldn't be good-bye, it's see ya later - til we meet again.
My heart, support, sympathy and 1/2 the understanding go out to you at this most difficulttime. My Mom died one year ago tomorrow (2-22-2009), and this past month has been one of the most difficult of my life! I've still got Dad in spite of one close call of a sudden cardiac arrest due to an unchecked high creatine level during a CT with dye exam 6 mos. after Mom passed! At that point I lost is totally, and am still not the same! I don't know how you are surviving...losing both parents so closely together! I know it often happens that way, but that is still my greatet fear now....losing Dad, too! I'll be thinking of you this week, and knowing what is hard for me, is DOUBLE difficult for you!
You are so right...don't over-educate your grief....just let it happen....in its own time, and in its own fashion....answer to no one but yourself, your feelings and to God. That is all that will get us through this journey called grief...yours being times 2! God bless you dear one of this "elite" club we don't ask to join, "Loss of a Parent!"
Please email me private if you need me. I know how difficult these next few weeks will be, and how non-understanding and unsupportive family and friends can be if you are not grieving as they are or as they would want you to...as in.. "Move-on!" One day, you will "Move Ahead," but as a different person with a different inspiration, but for now, just be who you are and feel what you feel...both inside and out...you need this journey! It is yours alone!
I'm here is you need me: email@example.com
Tonight is the 3rd anniversary of when my dad unexpectedly passed away. Just as I was trying to come to terms with the loss, 19 hours later my mom passed away. We knew she was sick and would probably only have lived another 6 months or so - but once she heard about my dad she went downhill. We had a double viewing and funeral. While this was happening I was in the middle of the divorce from hell and dealing with my oldest son's depression. I felt like I had to be strong to get through everything else that was going on. There have been days when I still think back and can't believe that they are really gone - especially when I 'need' them so much. All I want is to hear their voices again - that would bring som much comfort no matter how hard things were in my life. 3 years ago I never thought I would make it through - but I have made it and it has been unbelievably tough at times. I still cry - just not as often as I did at first. I still get mad when I need them and they aren't here. But now I 'talk' and pray to them to help me make it through. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I would lose the both of them together. I knew my mom was dying (the doctor told me about 5 weeks before she died), but I did not expect to lose my dad. I have read books and books on grieving and I go to a therapist (more for my divorce and the effects on my kids and I) and he has helped me realize that ALL the feelings I have are perfectly normal for me. If I am sad for a day - that's ok - as long as I know I have to pick myself up and go on. When I send sympathy cards now I hate the writing inside - I so want to just write - 'It sucks - I know' because that is the feeling I truly felt at the time. I do have a strong faith getting me through - but even that didn't help at first. I have also learned that my parents are with me - every time I see a coin on the ground I smile and say 'hello' to my dad. or when I see a bobby pin - I know my mom is close by. It's silly - but it dure does brighten my day. I don't think the day will ever come that I won't think of them, but I can now think of them and not cry. I can smile and laugh - and tonight that is what I know my dad would want. I sit hear and can remember the last conversation I had with my dad - just 2 hours before he suddenly died. My last conversation with my mom was me telling her that my dad had died. So now I just 'talk' to them in my thoughts - I know they hear me. Take time for yourself - Maureen