Hi Barbara, I still come to this site not many people post anymore. My daughter Brittney Lynn Beckley my only child. Her 10th Anniversary in heaven is approaching. 11/19/09. Some days I still can't believe it. I miss her so much. I hate this time of year.  I get so down, but I know Brittney would want me to go on and be strong.  It's really hard.

Hello Barbara.  Nice to hear from you.  I am still around but very seldom get on this site,   I do check every once in awhile but it seems it is stuck on just a few people posting and no new people.  I was a little disappointed in how the posts were going so I faded out of this site.   I still am in contact with 5 people that I started with 6 long years ago but we keep in contact by Facebook site now.  Thank you for thinking of Donny.  His girls (3) are really growing up and two have babies of their own.  I am now a great grand mother twice.  We see them as much as we can as 2 are in another state.  The oldest one stayed in CA when this all happened so we always see her and our precious baby girl.  Again thank you for thinking of me and wishing you a peaceful and healthy 2016.

Susan Donnys Mom forever

Hi Barbara I just saw your post. I'm not sure how to log on and leave comments. I read these posts daily. It does help.  I know the pain of your losing a child; Brittney was my only child. Lost her suddenly.  On 11/19 it will be 6 years. Still so hard to believe. I read your posts and they really give me strength.

Barbara, thanks for your gentle nudge in this quiet domain. I'm sorry for your loss, and can only imagine what your 5-year journey has been. Each of us has a different story, a different situation and thus a different experience. It was just a year ago now that our packing and preparing for a long distance move was underway, a new direction for us, a new beginning after many challenges through the years. We had survived them together, and now things were coming together. Grub made the drive in spite of an injury and a couple of compounding health problems, but he was so weakened from the effort he struggled to recover in our new home. I was with him as he took his last breath Nov 6. in hospice care. It all was a whirlwind, and suddenly I was alone for the first time in my life, dealing with this and some other life events that soon followed. It took a couple of months, but the emotions caught up with me, and now I'm a different person. My outlook on the future and my expectations of life are different.  Maybe I'll get beyond it and find a new life, if that's meant to be. And if I don't then it won't be for lack of effort.  Either way, it's not in my hands.

To answer your question, I'm the one in yellow, Grub is in blue. That was our first "ussie" taken in the summer of 01 shortly after we met.  Our faces are red from a day at the beach with his two kids who had just arrived for a summer visit.   I miss those days, and I'm also thankful to have lived them.  

Brad

Happy Birthday to your son Joe 8/19/2015. May happy memories of your son fill your heart today. Kathy Manning.

Hi Barbara, my name is Kathy Manning in live in Rochester, NY. On 11/19/2009 I lost my only child suddenly at the age of 20. Brittney Lynn Beckley. I read the post daily on this web-site seeking mothers that have lost their only child. I read your posts and it encourages me to go on. The pain and emptiness I feel sometimes, makes me want to give up. But somehow I manage the strength to go on. I live for Brittney's memory. I know she wouldn't want me to give up. Just wanted to say thank you for your posts. I will continue to read them. My email address is kmanning@democratandchronicle.com

thank you so much for your comments . your story inspires me and reminds me just how lucky i am compared to what others like yourself experienced .  so sorry 4/5/10 was a terrible day for u as well. just reminds me why we should always heal our own emotional near mortal wounds my helping others